Voodoo Academy (2000)

Starring Debra Mayer, Riley Smith, Chad Burris, Kevin Calisher, Huntley Ritter, Ben Indra, Drew Fuller, Travis Sher, Rhett Wilkins

Directed by David DeCoteau

Expectations: Hopeful, the cover is promising.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


I never quite know what I’m getting myself into with a B-Movie, but I have developed a fond familiarity with the films of David DeCoteau after seeing about 30 of them. Voodoo Academy is an unexpectedly important film in DeCoteau’s filmography, so I’m glad it ended up in the final stretch of my Full Moon review series. If I had seen this a few years ago, it would be a homoerotic curiosity, but after seeing almost all the Brotherhood films, and a number of other post-2000s DeCoteau films, the resonance of Voodoo Academy is felt all the more. To put it bluntly, Voodoo Academy is basically the film that launched DeCoteau into the “hot guys in boxer briefs” genre, and honestly it’s one of his best movies.

The Carmichael Bible College is just about as unique as a college can be. The school only accepts six students at a time — it’s in an experimental phase — and its focus isn’t simply on bible studies. The good Rev. Carmichael (Chad Burris) heads the NeuroCystic Christianity Church, a new take on Christianity that recognizes God created both man and science. A main tent of the religion asserts that only through technology can man ascend to a higher closeness with the Lord. Rev. Carmichael also believes in the Catholic practice of confession, but his confessional is equipped with an electromagnetic device. Conventional confession relieves the burden of sin from the penitent man, but Rev. Carmichael’s device allows the sins to be eradicated from the mind, as well. He seeks to heal the soul through electromagnetic means, similar to the way that Scientologists go through auditing to clear themselves of past negativity.

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The Brotherhood V: Alumni (2009)

Starring Brett Novek, Arthur Napiontek, Preston Davis, Maria Aceves, Nathan Parsons, Oskar Rodriguez, Lindsey Landers

Directed by David DeCoteau

Expectations: Hopeful. I like most of this series.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


After the high quality of The Brotherhood IV, I came into The Brotherhood V: Alumni with hope for another great Brotherhood film. There were four years between entries… maybe that time was spent looking for a story worthy of the renowned Brotherhood name! My hopes quickly fell when I saw the locker-lined hallway of a high school, though. In this moment, director David DeCoteau certainly inspired horror within me, but not the horror intended! 🙂 The Brotherhood V: Alumni is more like The Brotherhood III, although thankfully it’s more entertaining than that bottom-of-the-barrel film. That isn’t apparent in the film’s intro, though, where a nerdy teenager on prom night is stalked through the impossibly blue, locker-lined halls by perhaps the least urgent stalking killer in film history. The nerd is tracked into the girls’ locker room, where he undresses, showers, and is ultimately murdered. The sound of a heartbeat plays the entire time, like a meditation mantra pulling you down into a state of sweet oblivion. This all plays about as slowly as is humanly possible, taking up the first 15 minutes of the movie.

It is here that we meet the brotherhood of this film, a completely down-to-earth group without a shred of the supernatural to be found. They bond over their shared promise to never speak of what happened on prom night in the girls’ locker room, not from any altruistic ideal, but because their prank on the nerd kid went wrong and someone stole the video tape that recorded it for posterity. One year later, the friends all receive a blue envelope containing an invitation to a school reunion, or to a one-year prom reunion or something. I don’t remember exactly, and it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they have been called back to the school, and whoever called them there is terrorizing them with the threat of releasing the tape.

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Magic in the Mirror: Fowl Play (1997)

Starring Jamie Renée Smith, Kevin Wixted, Saxon Trainor, David Brooks, Godfrey James, Eileen T’Kaye, Gerrit Graham, Bryan J. Terrill, Eugen Cristian Motriuc, Ion Haiduc, Brent Morris, Iulia Gavril, Ileana Sandulescu, Daniela Marzavan, Stelian Nistor, Mihai Niculescu

Directed by Ted Nicolaou

Expectations: Moderate. I liked the first one.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


The first Magic in the Mirror film was a great blend of weird B-Movie thrills and kids’ movie charm, so I was hopeful that the sequel could deliver more of the same. It turns out that the sequel does just that, but upon receiving it I’m not sure that I actually needed any more. Magic in the Mirror: Fowl Play tries its best to move the adventure in a different direction, but even with this shift the story still boils down to the same beats as the original. For kids who enjoyed the first film, this will likely be a good thing, as the sequel scratches the same itch, but do kids who enjoy these movies still exist? If you’re looking for a bit more, you should probably look elsewhere, although if you’re reading this I’m not sure this applies to you. You’re a special type of person if you’re reading reviews of low-budget kids’ movies from the late ’90s. 🙂

After returning home from her adventure in the mirror world, Mary Margaret (Jamie Renée Smith) is helping her parents prepare for her mother Sylvia’s upcoming party. I honestly don’t remember why they were having a party, but I know it wasn’t a birthday, and I’m pretty sure it was something to do with Sylvia’s work in the field of making lasers that rip holes into other dimensions. Meanwhile, her partner in this work, Dr. Lazlo Tuttle (Mihai Niculescu), has decided to go rogue and use the machine for his own purposes. In doing so he lasers himself directly into Dragora’s palace, and if you forgot who Dragora is, she’s the Drake queen who enjoys nothing more than a good cup of “people tea.” This allows Dragora to enter our world unchecked, bringing with her a couple of Drake underlings and a serious grudge against Mary Margaret.

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Ravenwolf Towers (2016)

Starring Shiloh Creveling, Evan Henderson, Maria Olsen, Michael Citriniti, George Appleby, Sonny King, Jesse Egan, Rosemary Brownlow, Arthur Roberts, Robert Cooper, Nihilist Gelo, William Paul Burns, Tarashai Lee

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Not much. Perhaps a variation on the Evil Bong store format.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


Usually I try to keep up with the latest offerings from Full Moon, but Ravenwolf Towers slipped through the cracks. It originally debuted as an episodic series in December 2016, with new episodes to be released every subsequent full moon. My intentions were to review the complete series, like I did with Trophy Heads, their previous episodic release, but Full Moon stopped releasing new episodes after the third came out in February 2017. For a while I assumed they were just behind schedule — it happens to the best of us — so I continued to wait, and in November 2017 they released a feature-length version combining the three released episodes. My intentions were to review it ASAP, but then I got behind schedule myself and now here we are in the latter half of June 2018 and I’m finally reviewing Ravenwolf Towers. Why do I relate this long-winded history of putting off Ravenwolf Towers? Well… because Ravenwolf Towers is fantastic, a real achievement for Full Moon, and I’m sorry I ever waited to watch it. I imagine there are others who were similarly waiting to watch it, and I hope by relating my story I might get people off the fence and onto their favorite Full Moon streaming platform to watch it!

Ravenwolf Towers takes place in the titular building, a rundown hotel in Hollywood that’s been around since at least the 1920s. Jake (Evan Henderson) is hired on as an assistant manager, and things get weird before he even has a chance to settle in. The entire top floor is leased by a single family, access to this floor is only available via a special key to the elevator, and the family is not to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. Ivan Ivanoff (George Appleby) — a character from the Decadent Evil movies and, most recently, Puppet Master: Axis Termination — rents a room and pays cash to avoid the standard forms and questions. His presence suggests a supernatural evil is afoot, but perhaps a better clue is the deformed monstrosity of a man who hides in a wardrobe and rips off a man’s arm during the film’s intro! 🙂

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The Spy Next Door (2010)

AKA Spy Daddy, Kung Fu Nanny, Double Mission

Starring Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, Madeline Carroll, Will Shadley, Alina Foley, Magnús Scheving, Billy Ray Cyrus, George Lopez, Katherine Boecher, Mia Stallard, Maverick McWilliams, Quinn Mason, Lucas Till

Directed by Brian Levant

Expectations: I don’t expect much at all.


I don’t know what I expected this movie to be, other than the reasonable assumption that it’d be another in a long line of Jackie Chan spy movies. When the movie began with a montage of old Jackie Chan spy movies, I was surprised and taken aback. Why would a movie open with a montage of movies that it has no chance of matching? But as the story of The Spy Next Door developed, this opening actually makes a lot of sense. By opening with the old, amazing clips, we see how Jackie has defended the world against insurmountable odds throughout his career; he is an indestructible machine capable of taking on literally anything the villains can throw his way. But one thing Jackie has never had to contend with on-screen is the more mundane, everyday task of managing a family and earning the respect and trust of potential step-children. So while this is “another Jackie Chan spy movie,” it is unique among the bunch.

Jackie plays Bob Ho, international spy on loan to the CIA and living life undercover in New Mexico as an importer of pens. His neighbor and main squeeze is Gillian (Amber Valletta), a single mother of three: seven-year-old Nora (Alina Foley), 10-year-old Ian (Will Shadley), and teenager Farren (Madeline Carroll). Bob and Gillian’s relationship is getting serious, and Bob wants to finally divulge his true profession, retire and begin a new life with Gillian. But because it’s a movie, he’s interrupted by an urgent job which complicates matters, and before you know it, Bob is tasked with caring for the three kids on his own while a group of Russians hunts him down.

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Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017)

Starring George Appleby, Tonya Kay, Paul Logan, Kevin Scott Allen, Tania Fox, Alynxia America, Lilou Vos, Daniele Romer, Kyle Devero, Allen Perada, Jean Louise O’Sullivan, Kip Canyon, Rob Vardaro

Puppet Cast: Blade, Jester, Pinhead, Tunneler, Leech Women, Six Shooter, Blitzkrieg, Bombshell, Weremacht

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Low.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


If I remember right, sometime around the release of the last Puppet Master movie, 2012’s Axis Rising, Charles Band announced that Full Moon would give the people what they want and deliver a new Puppet Master film every year. They do it with the Evil Bong films, but with Puppet Master I thought it was an especially ambitious claim. It is one they did not make good on, but given the attention paid to the production of Puppet Master: Axis Termination it definitely ended up better for everyone. Five years is a long time, but a good movie is worth more than five half-ass ones with a meager handful of tepid thrills. So yeah, the new Puppet Master is a fantastic addition to the series.

The story is not the film’s strong point, but I doubt anyone would’ve expected it to be. It’s basically just Toulon’s puppets vs. the Nazi puppets like the previous Axis films, but now with better characters! Not in terms of their depth or anything high-brow like that, more like the vanilla-white couple of Danny (Kip Canyon) and Beth (Jean Louise O’Sullivan) are immediately killed off and replaced with a musclebound soldier (Paul Logan), the dwarf magician Dr. Ivan Ivanov from Decadent Evil (now played by George Appleby) and a voodoo priestess (Alynxia America). The Nazis boast a powerful magician of their own in Sturmbahnfurher Steiner Krabke (Kevin Scott Allen), as well as his boss, the strong-willed puppet master Doktor Gerde Ernst (Tonya Kay). Maybe I’m just rusty with my Puppet Master knowledge, but I don’t ever remember this kind of purely magical stuff in the series, but regardless I loved the flavor it added to the film.

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The Vault (2000)

Starring Leopoldo Mandeville, Ted Lyde, Shani Pride, Michael Cory Davis, Kyle Walker, Austin Priester, James Black, Parris Washington, Java Benson

Directed by James Black

Expectations: Low.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


The Vault sees a group of students and their teacher taking a trip to Washington High School. This field trip is not along the usual lines, though, as Washington High is rundown, boarded up and set to be demolished. The teacher, Mr. B (Ted Lyde), wishes his students, who are all delinquents in some form, to appreciate their opportunities and their education, and he thinks that taking them to visit his old school will do this. But it’s not Washington’s place in Mr. B’s history that draws him to it, it’s more because of its history before it was a school. During the 1800s, it served as a way station for the slave trade, and so in connecting to this history he hopes his students will leave with a newfound respect and outlook on their world.

Of course, The Vault is a horror movie, so you know things are not going as planned. Before we meet the teacher and his students, we are clued in that something supernatural is afoot in the school — particularly behind a locked door in the basement: the titular vault. It’s common for B-Movies to start with something to grab your attention, but I think in this case, it would’ve been more effective to have placed the confidence on the audience and the strength of the premise. But The Vault is barely longer than an hour as it is, and I don’t know that the main portion of the movie could withstand more fattening. It’s already kind of slow as it is, so I guess I should stop now and just concede that the film is in its best state as it was released. Hahahaha.

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