Reviews by Author

Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Starring Gordon Currie, Chandra West, Ash Adams, Teresa Hill, Guy Rolfe, Felton Perry, Stacie Randall, Michael Shamus Wiles, Dan Zukovic

Puppet Cast: Blade, Jester, Pinhead, Tunneler, Six Shooter, Decapitron, Totem Demons

Directed by Jeff Burr

Expectations: Moderate. The series has been solidly fun so far.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

Puppet Master 4 surprised me right from the start, sinking its hooks and refusing to let go until the credits rolled. Maybe it was the natural high from just coming home from a short vacation, but I thoroughly enjoyed Puppet Master 4 for all its crazy and campy B-movie fun. Many, even fans of the first three films, will instantly discredit the film due to its strange, rubber-suited Egyptian demon opening, but I couldn’t rip my eyes from the screen.

Monster Camp (2007)

Starring Shane Macomber, Dave Overman, Paul Vorvick, Fern Zimmerman, Rebecca McNamee

Directed by Cullen Hoback

Expectations: Moderate. I hope this isn’t just more of the same.

Monster Camp takes another, slightly different look at the world of live action role-playing (LARP). The inhabitants of this world are just as enthralled and engrossed in the fictional world they are populating, but they go about it in a wholly different way than the fellows from Darkon. In the grand scheme of things they really aren’t all that different, but the nerd in me has to come out and say, “No, actually they are fundamentally different.” Before watching Darkon and Monster Camp I had a limited knowledge of this very distinct subculture, but I’m familiar enough with the overall genre through a strong love of computer role-playing games. Due to this, I won’t be able to really boil it down for those firmly entrenched in the LARP forest, but I’ll do my best.

Darkon (2006)

Starring Skip Lipman, Kenyon Wells, Daniel McArthur, Rebecca Thurmond, James Iddings, Gary Black, Domenic Prince, Andrew Mattingly, Frank Kanach, Leah Kanach

Directed by Andrew Neel & Luke Meyer

Expectations: I expect to get a few laughs, like a Christopher Guest movie.

Darkon does the seemingly impossible, making dudes playing with foam weapons in the park seem somewhat noble. At the end of the day they’re still über nerds stressing over the political struggles of the world in their minds, but I was not prepared for the level of self-awareness that many of the players exhibit. The game becomes a coping mechanism for their struggles in the real world, an outlet for their frustrations and desires. Some players note how the game helped them become better real world people because they were able to try out something other than themselves for a while, and learn from their in-game character. It allows them to look at themselves from an objective viewpoint and note how they’d like to incorporate an aspect of their character into their real life. This is obviously a bit convoluted, but whatever works for personal growth.

Spellcaster (1992)

Starring Adam Ant, Richard Blade, Gail O’Grady, Harold Pruett, Bunty Bailey, Kim Johnston Ulrich, Michael Zorek, Martha Demson, Traci Lind, William Butler, Michael Deak, Donald Hodson, Marcello Modugno, Dale Wyatt

Directed by Rafal Zielinski

Expectations: Moderate. I’m excited for this, but I don’t think it’ll be good.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

Spellcaster is yet another casualty of the fall of Empire Pictures. Like Robot Jox before it, Spellcaster‘s fate hung in limbo for many years before it finally saw release. The film was originally produced in 1988 and it shows, with the cheesy 80s music video opening the film being the first clue. So don’t be surprised when queuing this up, it never once feels like a horror film from 1992. Four years may not seem like a lot, but in the world of horror films, the differences are night and day.

Spellcaster follows the traditional horror film “people stuck in a location” formula, with these people being brought together by a TV station’s prize giveaway of a trip to an Italian castle and a chance to win a million dollars! The characters here are fun for the most part which counts for a lot, but there’s not enough development of any of them to make you care about the proceedings.

Arena (1989)

Starring Paul Satterfield, Hamilton Camp, Claudia Christian, Marc Alaimo, Shari Shattuck, Armin Shimerman, Brett Porter, Charles Tabansi, Michael Deak, Jack Carter, William Butler, Grady Clarkson, Dave Thompson, Ken Clark, Diana Rose

Directed by Peter Manoogian

Expectations: Pretty high. Look at that poster!

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

Like a sci-fi fan’s teenage wet dream, Arena successfully combines two of the universe’s most satisfying things, boxing and aliens. Add in a healthy dose of said aliens getting repeatedly punched and kicked in their foam latex faces and we’ve got ourselves a ridiculously fun slice of 1980s high-brow cinema. I can’t ask for much more than that!

Steve Armstrong just isn’t cut out to be a short order cook, but when an alien causes some trouble in the restaurant where he works, Armstrong gives him the old one-two and then throws him out through the front window. In the grand tradition of tough guy movies, he loses his job and proves just how badass he is in one fell swoop. His co-worker, a four-armed dude named Shorty, takes Armstrong in till he can get back on his feet but others have had their interest piqued by Armstrong’s supreme fighting skill.

The Karate Kid (2010)

The Karate Kid (2010)
AKA The Kung Fu Dream [in Chinese markets]

Starring Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson, Wang Zhenwei, Yu Rong-Guang, Han Wen Wen, Xu Ming, Wang Ji, Luke Carberry

Directed by Harald Zwart

Expectations: Low.

I hadn’t planned to watch this, but the opportunity presented itself without any effort on my part and I took the bullet so you guys wouldn’t have to if you didn’t want to. The story here follows the same basic beats as the original: Mother and boy move a great distance to a new place where bullies thrive and said boy resorts to learning martial arts from the maintenance man, who has a way of teaching through everyday tasks. Thankfully this version of the film doesn’t try to emulate the same tasks, instead inventing a “Put on the jacket, Take off the jacket” thing that actually works pretty well despite my best intentions to hate it. When Jackie Chan finally decides to unleash the martial power of this seemingly minor act, the resulting scene is pretty enjoyable and is probably the best in the film.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Starring Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Blake Clark, Estelle Harris, Jodi Benson, John Morris, Emily Hahn, Laurie Metcalf, R. Lee Ermey, Jeff Pidgeon, Teddy Newton, Bud Luckey, Javier Fernandez-Peña, Timothy Dalton

Directed by Lee Unkrich

Expectations: High. I can’t wait!

Toy Story 3 is an excellent conclusion to the Toy Story series, effectively giving fans another shot of toy action that manages to exceed the previous sequel and almost reach the heights of the near-perfect first film. I had the utmost faith in the team at Pixar to deliver a quality film, but they even exceeded my expectations.