Silver Emulsion Film Reviews

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack Giveaway!

How about a giveaway featuring my favorite film from 2012? Oh yeah! Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey lands on Blu-ray and DVD on March 19th, and so to celebrate we’re giving away a copy courtesy of our friends at Warner Bros! The giveaway starts now and will run until 12:00 AM on 3/30/13, so there’s plenty of time to rack up a whole mess of chances! Good luck!

And how might you enter said giveaway? The four ways to enter are:

Tweet about this giveaway! (This can be done once a day for multiple chances and is worth three entries for each tweet!)
Like Silver Emulsion on Facebook!
Follow Silver Emulsion on Twitter!
Take the “Are You 100% Hobbit Quiz!” in the app below and leave a comment below with your results!

All entries are tracked via the Rafflecopter app below the WB one, so make sure you do everything through there or it won’t count! Also: Sorry International friends, this is US only! And no P.O. Boxes as the prize will be mailed via UPS or FedEx.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This post brought to you in partnership with Warner Bros!

hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-dvd-cover-44

Shaolin Wooden Men (1976)

Shaolin Wooden Men [少林木人巷] (1976)
AKA 36 Wooden Men, Shaolin Wooden Men …Young Tiger’s Revenge, Shaolin Chamber of Death, Wooden Man

Starring Jackie Chan, Kam Kong, Doris Lung Chun-Erh, Chiang Kam, Cheung Bing-Yuk, Miu Tak San, Liu Ping, Li Min-Lang, Weng Hsiao-Hu, Miao Tian, To Wai-Wo

Directed by Lo Wei (per the credits)
Actually directed by Chen Chi-Hwa

Expectations: Moderately high.

I’ve always enjoyed Shaolin Wooden Men. I generally stayed away from most of the early Jackie films during my youth, because I had grown tired of wasting money on sub-standard prints of sub-standard movies. But Shaolin Wooden Men was always one of the good ones to me, and going back to re-watch it was a great experience. I liked it more than ever, and it’s baffling to me that this one doesn’t have a better reputation. But people’s perceptions are what they are, and I won’t try to break down why they didn’t like it, I can only comment on why I did. And really, there’s so much here to like.

Shaolin Wooden Men opens in thrilling fashion featuring five masters of Shaolin sparring with Jackie Chan in a darkened room, lit only by candles. They spar for a good long while, showcasing different animal-style kung fus (and no, that doesn’t mean a messy kung fu with grilled onions, In-N-Out fans), and when Jackie defeats them all he tries his luck with the chamber of the wooden men. There’s just something about these wooden men that makes me smile, but they have the opposite effect on Jackie in this scene. He tries his best, but his best barely gets him past the first couple of wooden men. He is defeated… but then he wakes up! He is but a lowly, mute student of Shaolin, still early in his training. He has far to go before he will reach the chamber of the wooden men.

The Golden Seal (1971)

The Golden Seal [金印仇] (1971)

Starring Chung Wa, Wang Ping, Ku Feng, Yue Fung, Baak Liu, Chan Shen, Wong Ching Ho, Cliff Lok Kam Tung, Teresa Ha Ping, Fang Mian

Directed by Tien Feng

Expectations: Moderate.

If you’re a fan of the 1960s output of the Shaw Studios, and you’re looking for a later film with the same ideals and only slightly better fights, then look no further than The Golden Seal! Directed by veteran Shaw character actor Tien Feng, The Golden Seal is something of a throwback wuxia film that does as many things right as it does wrong. It’s still largely entertaining and enjoyable, it’s just that at this point in the Shaw series, films like this stand out as being much worse because of the films surrounding them. If this were made even a couple of years earlier, it would’ve been far more impressive.

The Golden Seal is not exactly about a golden seal like you might expect (and that’s an official seal for documents and such, not the animal that barks and balances things on their noses when humans throw them fish). It does kick itself off with the seal, though, as it is entrusted to its owner’s brother who is tasked with taking it and his nephew out of harm’s way. But that exact moment is when the devious Lei Zhentian (Ku Feng) busts in and starts tearin’ up the place, so the uncle and the boy sneak away in a cart. During the opening credits, said cart is driven off a dangerous cliff, but don’t worry, our heroic duo is safe. One cut later and 20 years have passed, with the boy all grown up (now played by Chung Wa) and just finishing his martial arts study under the grand tutelage of Tien Feng in a much-too-small cameo.

To Rome With Love (2012)

To Rome With Love (2012)
AKA Bop Decameron, Nero Fiddled

Starring Alison Pill, Flavio Parenti, Woody Allen, Judy Davis, Fabio Armiliato, Roberto Benigni, Monica Nappo, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Greta Gerwig, Ellen Page, Alessandro Tiberi, Alessandra Mastronardi, Penélope Cruz

Directed by Woody Allen

Expectations: Moderate, but I’m always thrilled to see a new Woody Allen film.

I liked To Rome With Love more than Midnight in Paris. I thought Midnight in Paris was good and gorgeous and truly inspired, but it didn’t feel like a true Woody Allen film to me (not to mention that it wasn’t all that funny). That’s fine, as it wasn’t that type of movie, but in certain ways To Rome With Love is the Allen film I’ve been waiting for: a light-hearted, straight-up comedy with a distinct Allen feel. If I had believed the press about To Rome With Love, I would’ve missed out on an enjoyable film — good thing I never really cared about the press for Woody Allen films. To Rome With Love is filled with fun scenarios that lead to absurd bursts of hilarity, and while it is a little too unfocused between all its storylines, I didn’t much care as I was having so much fun.

Like many of Allen’s 2000s films, To Rome With Love is set in an iconic European city and it doubles as an incredible looking travel film. This time, instead of a single story, Allen decided to tell four unrelated tales. They never come together, and they never feel like they should. In fact, it’s clear that each one exists on its own timeline, as a couple of days go by in the Roberto Benigni timeline while only an hour or so passes for another of the stories. Odd as it may sound, this is never jarring at all. I do feel like the film is a bit overstuffed — perhaps three stories would have been smoother — but I’m at a loss to decide which one to cut. They all work together well in an abstract sort of way, and provide a lot of classic Woody Allen entertainment.

Stephen reviews: Battle Royal High School (1987)

BRHS Battle Royal High School [真魔神伝 – バトルロイヤルハイスクール Shinmajinden Batoru Royaru Haisukûru] (1987)

Starring Kazuki Yao, Kazuhiko Inoue, Hideyuki Tanaka, Chieko Honda, Mari Yokoo, Sakiko Tamagawa

Directed by Ichiro Itano

Despite the similar title and high school setting, this is not to be confused with Battle Royale. They are two very different stories. Battle Royal High School starts off like a martial arts film, with a protagonist that beats the crap out of a karate class and aspires to conquer every dojo in the country. But it quickly transitions to a demonic invasion and accelerates into the realm of pure absurdity.

The plot is tricky to pin down. It’s convoluted and low on explanation, but I’ll try to sum it up. Ryoudo, martial arts champion of his school, gets possessed by a demon trapped on Earth. After that, a demon hunter tries to kill him. Then add in the sudden arrival — from space, I guess — of a space-time continuum inspector who’s searching for the source of a “hyper-psycho-kinetic-wave.” He’s also tricked out with an awesome suit of robot armor. Obviously. And apparently fairies are trying to take over the world by mutating people into hideous monsters. Somehow all of that gets twisted into a plot that actually makes a good deal of sense in the end, as long as you don’t question it.

Mandroid (1993)

Starring Brian Cousins, Jane Caldwell, Michael Della Femina, Robert Symonds, Curt Lowens, Patrik Ersgard, Ion Haiduc

Directed by Jack Ersgard

Expectations: High. That poster promises a lot of fun.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:

You don’t know how sad it makes me to watch a movie called Mandroid and not be able to tell you how incredible it is. It’s remarkable how much this film squanders its potential to be a great film, and continues to do that over and over and over again throughout. At least it’s consistent. But don’t fret, it’s not all bad. The elements are here, so Mandroid would actually be better if you’re not paying close attention. You’re doing something, you look up and see the Mandroid driving a car into a wall, you go back to what you’re doing with a smile on your face. That would be a far more enjoyable experience than actually trying to follow the “story” of this movie.

But what is that story? Hellifino! No really, it’s about this Mandroid and he’s in love with a Wo-Mandroid from a rival clan. Their ~~fathers~~ creators object to their coupling — OK, OK. The real story is about a pair of elderly scientists who created the Mandroid together. One creator, Karl, wants to use it for science, but the other, Drago, wants to sell it to the military! They do a bit of fighting about it, and Drago decides to take matters into his own hands and just steal the sum’bitch. That plan goes awry and Drago gets hideously disfigured, fueling his rage even more!

The Invisible War (2012)

Starring Kori Cioca, Jessica Hinves, Robin Lynne Lafayette, Ariana Klay, Trina McDonald, Elle Helmer, Hannah Sewell, Rob McDonald

Directed by Kirby Dick

Expectations: High.

A good documentary will try to educate its viewers about a certain topic, or seek to raise awareness about an issue that’s flying under most people’s radars. An excellent documentary will do both, and The Invisible War is that documentary. I went into The Invisible War with an idea that rape in the military existed, but I had no real knowledge of how widespread it is, or how the military judicial system works (or doesn’t work). I came out knowing a lot more about these issues, and in terms of raising awareness, I don’t know that I’ve ever been more angry while watching a documentary. The idea that servicewoman (and men) are subjected to such fucked up treatment is absolutely infuriating, and the fact that their cries for help go largely unanswered, sometimes resulting in the victims being persecuted again by the system, is arguably worse than the original crime.

The military’s justice system is much like the Catholic church’s; they have their own system in place to combat crime and deal with it (or not deal with it) however they see fit. Crimes that happen within the military are handled solely by the military, so instead of an impartial investigative organization overseeing everything, oftentimes the perpetrators themselves or their close friends are the ones in power over the investigation. This creates an extremely hostile environment for reporting crimes of this nature. In the months following the release of the film, action has been taken to change how the military handles these crimes, which is a great step in the right direction, but there is always more to be done.