Reviews by Author

The Day Time Ended (1980)

The Day Time Ended (1980)
AKA Black Thunder, Earth’s Final Fury, Explosión Galáctica (Spain), Time Warp, Vortex

Starring Jim Davis, Christopher Mitchum, Dorothy Malone, Marcy Lafferty, Natasha Ryan, Scott C. Kolden, Roberto Contreras

Directed by John “Bud” Cardos

Expectations: Moderately high. Stop-motion monsters!

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:

I only took two notes during The Day Time Ended, not because there wasn’t anything interesting going on, but because there was always something interesting going on. It’s not always presented in the most interesting way, but that’s beside the point. What matters here is that the film promises stop-motion monsters on its cover, and it delivers that and a whole lot more (and by a whole lot more I mean impressive, low-budget interpretations of Close Encounters of a Third Kind‘s light-based space phenomena). And let’s not forget all those incredibly convenient plot contrivances, but again, that’s beside the point because The Day Time Ended is pure, low-budget, sci-fi fun.

Miami Connection (1987)

Starring Y.K. Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Joseph Diamand, Maurice Smith, Angelo Janotti, Kathy Collier, William Eagle, Si Y Jo, Park Woo-sang

Directed by Richard Park (Park Woo-sang)

Expectations: Extremely high.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:

“We could write another Tae Kwon Do song, and after Tom does one of his guitar solos we could all break boards.”

I’m tempted to leave this review at just that quote, because your enjoyment of Miami Connection can all be boiled down to your enjoyment of that quote. It perfectly encapsulates the street martial arts/musical film that Miami Connection is, and for those that love ’80s action it is one of the best treats ever unearthed from obscurity. It’s actually so good, inspiring such amazing thoughts of love and praise, that I’m nearly paralyzed to discuss it rationally. I’ll do my best, though.

Mammas don’t let your boys grow up to be Urban Cowboys!

MOV_6923b109_b As I roundup my reviews, I reflect on the components of a fan-fucking-tastic ’80s movie. If you don’t remember, refer to my About Last Night… review.

The movie Perfect got ten out of ten
Purple Rain got nine out of ten
About Last Night got eight out of ten
And drum roll please… Urban Cowboy got seven out of ten

Urban Cowboy (UC) was sweaty, slummy, and hot! Aaron Latham wrote Urban Cowboy. Latham also co-wrote the movie Perfect (1st movie we reviewed for Valentine’s Special), another Travolta film. Both films were based off of articles written by Latham in the ’70s. Urban Cowboy takes place in Texas. This Honky Tonk love story is centered around two dysfunctional lovebirds: “Bud,” played by John Travolta, and Sissy, played by Debra Winger. Bud is a hothead, country bumpkin who moves in with his uncle Bob, played by Barry Corbin, to find work at an oil rig. Winger lives in the same town and works with her parents. Sissy and Bud meet at the local Honky Tonk (#1), which is where most of the movie takes place. They start dancing after they antagonize each other and engage in some serious tongue action (#7). Of course, we get to see Travolta strut his stuff. This time it’s country (#10). I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to play the banjo and get my line dancing on! This movie was instrumental in revamping Travolta’s image. He wanted roles that showcased his acting and not his hip action. He definitely pulled off the macho thing. The country western dancing in this film was very sexy and masculine. It made me forget he wore tights in Staying Alive.

Urban Cowboy (1980)

Starring John Travolta, Debra Winger, Scott Glenn, Madolyn Smith Osborne, Barry Corbin, Brooke Alderson, Cooper Huckabee, James Gammon, Mickey Gilley

Directed by James Bridges

Expectations: Moderate.

HEE YAW! Hoo-doggies, this was a good’un, y’all! Now before you starts to saying I don’t know shit from Shinola, hear me out. You might be like I was and think that Urban Cowboy is “that mechanical bull movie,” and you’re not wrong. But what I wasn’t prepared for was just how engrossing and well-made “that mechanical bull movie” would be. Even though previous Valentine’s film Perfect (the pelvic gyration instructional film) was made by the same team (journalist/screenwriter Aaron Latham and director James Bridges), I still had no idea that this would be anything more than John Travolta looking cool in a cowboy hat for two hours. There’s definitely a lot of that, don’t get me wrong, but there’s so much more to Urban Cowboy than it would appear at first glance.

The story is actually rather similar to Perfect, just substituting mechanical bull riding for the aerobic thrusts. Kinda. Anyway, the basic framework is the same, with a new guy entering a sub-culture and immersing himself in it completely. Judging off of the two films, I really wish the Latham/Bridges team had made more films, plumbing the depths of trendy American life from sea to shining sea, but I guess we’ll have to be content with the two we got. Anyway, the film opens as Bud (John Travolta) is leaving his family and his small town to find success in the big city of Houston. His uncle lives there and he helps him get a job at the oil refinery where he works. But first he takes Bud to Gilley’s, a real-life Texas honky-tonk, and it changes Bud’s life. There he meets Sissy (Debra Winger), a hot lil’ spunky cowgirl looking for a real cowboy, and within a few days the two done got hitched!

About this Movie…

MPW-47461 About Last Night is a rockin’ ’80s film. The movie is based off of David Mamet’s play Sexual Perversity in Chicago (which I know nothing about, so I will not discuss). ALN is a sweet love story. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy gets scared and starts making bad choices, boy breaks up with girl, boy wants girl back. Boy and girl try to work it out.

First let me get it off my chest… the ’80s were so TUBULAR. There are a few noteworthy things in this film. A fan-fucking-tastic ’80s movie has a few great components. No need to ask twice, here they are.

Fricking social scene: cigarettes, bar scene, beer, sexism
Fantabulous Music
Bitchin’ Colors
Bangin’ Clothes
Bangin’ Sex scene
Douche-ass friend, (peer pressure) and a BFF
Scamming (with the tongue)
Awesome male ass shots, not just female
Airhead sidekick
Tight-ass Dance scene

About Last Night (ALN) had eight of the “must haves” in an ’80s movie. The plot is about a couple falling in love. This is movie is hilarious. I love the way it opens with the back and forth banter between Belushi and Lowe. I also love the consistent use of “broad,” “Humpin’ and bumpin’”, and “…so, I’m fucking her.”

About Last Night… (1986)

Starring Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, James Belushi, Elizabeth Perkins, George DiCenzo, Michael Alldredge, Robin Thomas, Donna Gibbons, Megan Mullally

Directed by Edward Zwick

Expectations: Moderate.

About Last Night kicks immediately into its frank dialogue about sexual escapades and it can be a little jarring. Maybe it’s just me, but I expect a movie to wine and dine me a bit before we’re talking about fucking in air force flak jackets and setting the room on fire both figuratively and literally. But once you get accustomed to About Last Night‘s scandalous nature, it is a pretty entertaining relationship movie.

The film centers around two pairs of friends who meet at a company softball game. Demi Moore can’t stop looking at Rob Lowe, and vice versa, so they quickly strike up a relationship based on their mutual, intense attraction. Their friends don’t take it so well, though, and the film develops into something a little more complex than your average rom-com.

Purple Haze

purplerain_japan I will start by saying: it’s been years since I watched Purple Rain. With my combination of ADHD and my pre-dementia (just joking?), it was like watching it for the first time. I will start by asking: WHAT THE FUCK? I did not remember the acting being so horrible. The father, Clarence Williams III, was the only believable actor. The plot is about the Kid, played by Prince, an aspiring songwriter/musician. The Kid is struggling not to repeat the abusive and destructive behavior he witnesses from his father. While battling his father’s abusive relationship with his mother, the Kid, meets another aspiring musician, Apollonia, played by Apollonia Kotero. They have an immediate and intense attraction to each other. Their attraction is chronicled through Purple Rain’s kick ass soundtrack. Unfortunately, Prince is a man-child, who is paranoid and disturbed like his father. Prince is constantly mistreating Apollonia and the female members in his band, The Revolution. He is antagonistic, rude, and downright mean to the ladies in The Revolution, Lisa and Wendy. All they want is for him to listen to the songs that they wrote for their band. Prince is battling several personal and professional demons. Morris, played by Morris Day, is the Kid’s musical nemesis. Morris is trying to get Apollonia to join his girl band (later deemed Apollonia 6). Morris wants Apollonia 6 to take over the Kid’s nightly gig. The story is told through Prince’s real-life soundtrack, Purple Rain.

There are too many perspectives to write this review from: psychological, feminist, and/or artistic/nostalgic. I will give a brief description of the first two perspectives, but to keep it positive, I will write the full review from an artistic/nostalgic perspective.

If from a psychological perspective: there are some serious dysfunctional/abnormal behaviors, and mental disorders showcased. Because of my psychology background, I hereby order the family into some intensive family, marriage, and individual counseling. Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson would say that the Kid did not properly go through the stages of development. The Kid is a man-child that throws tantrums through song and pelvic thrusts.