Fantasy

7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)

Starring Tony Randall, Barbara Eden, Arthur O’Connell, John Ericson, Noah Beery Jr., Lee Patrick, Minerva Urecal, John Qualen, Frank Kreig, Peggy Rea, Eddie Little Sky

Directed by George Pal

Expectations: Moderate because of George Pal’s involvement.

From the depths of my Netflix queue comes this George Pal directed cult classic. I remember hearing about this movie years ago, but I could never muster up the energy to care enough to watch it. A few weeks back I became somewhat enamoured with the idea of watching some other George Pal films because when I was a kid The Time Machine was the absolute shit. It was one of my favorite films during my childhood and it’s one that I will always love. With all this love you’d think I’d have seen some more of his work, but nope! That is, until now.

7 Faces of Dr. Lao is about a mysterious Chinese man who rides into a town in flux. Mr. Stark, a wealthy landowner (Yes, this is a Western of sorts), wishes to purchase the town from its inhabitants, but Dr. Lao arrives just in time. His circus serves as something of a distraction for the townspeople during the two days that they have to decide on Mr. Stark’s “generous” offer. It’s immediately clear to the audience (and to a couple of do-gooder characters) that Stark’s up to no good, but most of the townspeople have only dollar signs in their eyes.

Stephen reviews: Ninja Scroll (1993)

Ninja Scroll [獣兵衛忍風帖, Jūbē Ninpūchō] (1993)

Starring Kōichi Yamadera, Emi Shinohara, Takeshi Aono, Daisuke Gôri, Toshihiko Seki, Shûichirô Moriyama

Directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri

Despite the title, Ninja Scroll doesn’t have much in the way of scrolls. There’s only one, and while it is important for a minor plot point, it certainly isn’t title worthy. But if the film doesn’t deliver the kind of ancient literary action that you were hoping for, let me tell you, it certainly keeps its word about the ninjas. In fact, it has so many to spare that it kills off a dozen of them in the first ten minutes. The poor guys don’t even stand a chance, as their opponent is a gigantic ninja made of rock with an equally gigantic two-bladed sword that he hurls around like a boomerang. He’s one of the Eight Demons (or devils, depending on the translation) of Kimon who all have a different magic power. In fact the only major character in the movie that doesn’t have some kind of magic ability is Jubei, the main character, who has only his badass sword skills to keep him alive.

Jubei gets hired, or rather blackmailed, by an old ninja to fight against the demons. And of course, the old man has powers, too. He can stretch into strange shapes and change color like a chameleon. They also wind up working with Kagero, a female ninja with her own power, who helps in order to repay Jubei for saving her from being raped. The sexual content is pretty graphic, so anyone squeamish about the rape scene may be getting more than they bargained for.

Dragon Swamp (1969)

Dragon Swamp [毒龍潭] (1969)

Starring Cheng Pei Pei, Lo Lieh, Yueh Hua, Tung Li, Wong Chung-Shun , Lo Wei, Ku Feng, Chiu Hung, Fan Mei-Sheng, Simon Yuen Siu Tien, Lee Siu-Paang

Directed by Lo Wei

Expectations: Moderate. Cheng Pei Pei and Lo Wei should deliver something worth watching.

Dragon Swamp isn’t one of the greats from the Shaw Brother’s lineup of films, but it is one that incorporates many great ideas and novelty into an overall enjoyable film. Cheng Pei-Pei fans will definitely be intrigued by this title, as the star portrays two characters in the film: a mother and her daughter that look very much alike. Cheng Pei Pei showcases her ability to play both hard and soft, as the mother is a world-weary character that’s been through too much to smile, while her daughter is a happy-go-lucky girl brought up in a world of martial intrigue. Add in wonderful supporting performances from some of my Shaw Brothers favorites such as Lo Lieh, Wong Chung-Shun, Yueh Hua, and Fan Mei-Sheng, and Dragon Swamp is definitely one worth watching for anyone that enjoys an old-school wuxia film.

The film opens with Cheng Pei Pei’s husband stealing the infamous Jade Dragon Sword and her firstborn child, and due to the rules of their order Cheng Pei Pei is banished to stay in Dragon Swamp for the next twenty years. Lo Wei plays the head of the order and offers to take her infant daughter (not yet portrayed by Cheng Pei Pei) and raise her as his own. Off she goes in a little rowboat into the swamp, and before we know it, it’s twenty years later! The film takes this transition very quickly, so if you’re not paying strict attention to Lo Wei’s graying hair you might think that the next scene is Cheng Pei Pei in Dragon Swamp.

Hugo (2011)

Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa Butterfield, Chloë Grace Moretz, Ray Winstone, Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, Helen McCrory, Michael Stuhlbarg, Frances de la Tour, Richard Griffiths, Jude Law

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Expectations: High, but really cautious. Everything I hear sounds good, but whenever I see footage it looks dumb.

OK, I’m going to try and rein in my negativity. I did like Hugo, but I take issue with much of it as a film. With all the film history stuff contained in the film Scorsese is preaching to the choir with me, and I doubt that any kids in the audience are going to take the film’s look back at the life’s work of George Méliès and run with it to their nearest DVD retailer to snatch up a copy of A Trip to the Moon. I don’t know… I think this is another case of me just being too jaded to truly appreciate the film at hand, although I have to say that I don’t think it’s an entirely well made film. For Scorsese to get so much respect for this movie is ridiculous as it shows very little of the clever, powerful director he once was. I have to imagine it’s because this is easily one of the safest and most boringly mainstream movies of his entire career, but hey, I generally hate movies about movies, so your mileage may vary.

Hugo is about a boy name Hugo who lives in the crawlspaces of the train station. He winds the clocks and pretty much keeps to himself, except to steal a little clockwork gear every once in a while. He does this because he’s got an automaton stashed away in his home, and he’s desperately trying to fix it. Despite this fantasy setup, the film is a lot more grounded than you’d expect it to be from the marketing. Don’t get me wrong, everything plays out in somewhat comical, ridiculous ways, but it still feels tied to our reality by all the film history lessons sprinkled throughout.

Guest Review: The Secret World of Arrietty (2010/2012)

Allow me to introduce my buddy, Stephen. He’s gonna chime in from time to time with an anime review, so give him a big welcome. First up, it’s the newest Studio Ghibli film to hit US shores!

The Borrower Arrietty [借りぐらしのアリエッティ, Kari Gurashi no Arietti]
AKA Arrietty, Arrietty: Le Petit Monde des Chapardeurs
Original Release 2010 in Japan, US Theatrical Release 2012

Starring Bridget Mendler, David Henrie, Amy Poehler, Gracie Poletti, Moisés Arias, Will Arnett, Carol Burnett

Directed by Hiromasa Yonebayashi

Lately, Studio Ghibli has made quite a few adaptations of children’s fantasy stories. This one is based upon The Borrowers by Mary Norton. The book was written in 1952 and set in the English countryside, so the film’s setting of modern-day Japan is obviously a bit of a change. To further muddy the waters, the character names were changed in the Disney release of the film to make them more familiar to Western audiences, or perhaps to match with the original book. Since I have never read the source material, I can’t say how much the plot was altered for The Secret World of Arrietty, but anyone who read the book should go in expecting something a little different from the original.

The film starts off with a boy named Shawn, who has a heart condition, and he has been sent to an old house in the country to get some rest. When he arrives, he catches sight of young Arrietty, a miniscule girl who is one of the Borrowers that live under the house. Borrowers are only a few inches tall, and slink around the house at night, “borrowing” what they need from the humans. They bear quite a few similarities to various creatures of English folklore, most notably Brownies. Shawn has arrived on the eve of Arrietty’s first borrowing, and she is eager to prove herself, despite the new human who makes sneaking around the house riskier.

Mini-Review: The Secret of Kells (2009)

Starring Evan McGuire, Christen Mooney, Brendan Gleeson, Mick Lally, Liam Hourican, Paul Tylak, Michael McGrath, Paul Young

Directed by Tomm Moore & Nora Twomey

Expectations: Low. It doesn’t look like something I’d care about.

I think this one is more of a case of “not for me” than actual poor quality. I’m unable to tell definitively, but for my money The Secret of Kells was long, boring and somewhat harsh on the eyes. Strong words for a film that garnered high praise from nearly all critics, and earned a coveted Oscar nomination for Best Animated Film, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Let’s start with the long, boring part. The Secret of Kells is only just over an hour in length, but it feels like three. I was unable to engage with the story right from the get-go so that’s probably why the damn thing felt so long. I tried though, Lord did I try, but at nearly every turn I was bored. There are some genuinely great moments sprinkled here and there, but by the time they arrived I was already so checked out they failed to truly resonate.

And now for the visuals. I get what they were going for: taking influence from the art of the time the story depicts (the 7th century) and running wild with it. This is a fantastic idea and has worked well for films previous, but the thing is that The Secret of Kells actually looks more like something from the workshop of Genndy Tartakovsky, the man behind Samurai Jack, The Powerpuff Girls and Dexter’s Laboratory. I’ve only watched Samurai Jack in any real sense, and I absolutely love that show. What’s interesting about that is that I love it in spite of its art style and character design. I’m not especially fond of the art overall, but the great characters and the level of filmmaking skill and inventiveness exhibited in Samurai Jack is amazing, impressive and thoroughly entertaining. When The Secret of Kells looks pretty much exactly like that, but features little to none of these positives, I can’t help but be bored.

Film is a visual medium and visual aesthetics are one of my most important criteria for liking a film. I didn’t care for the visuals, so it was really hard to get through this one. The film did completely enthrall my cat though, so that’s something. I don’t think it’s so much that The Secret of Kells is a bad movie, but that I just couldn’t connect with it. It is impressive that a small, independent studio can crank out an animated film of this technical quality though. Watch the trailer and if the visuals don’t bother you, you just might get a good time out of this one. All others, look elsewhere.

Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 6, Last Battle for the Universe (1996)

Starring Corbin Allred, Jennifer Burns, Derek Webster, Barrie Ingham, Jonathan Charles Kaplan, Michael C. Mahon, Stacy Sullivan, Helen Siff, Charisma Carpenter, Johnny Green

Directed by Frank Arnold

Expectations: Low, but very much excited to be done with these!

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

At long last I find myself at the end of the lengthy Josh Kirby film sextet. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t always enjoyable, but damn if I didn’t get a few quality moments of WTF joy. I’m happy to report that one of the best of these comes in this film, the aptly titled entry: Last Battle for the Universe. While it is the last film, and there is a battle contained within, don’t get your hopes up for an epic confrontation between good and evil that will shake the pillars of the Earth. Nope, here it’s more along the lines of Josh Kirby wearing a thimble/bucket helmet and trading laborious blows with the evil villain contained in the time armor.

Once again, a Josh Kirby film is fairly unintelligible. I always get through the first few minutes following these pretty well, but as boredom and exhaustion sets in, I’m unable to keep up with all the lengthy jargon-driven dialogue exchanges. What I was able to decode was this: after finally retrieving the final Nullifier component, Josh’s time buddy Irwin 1138 reveals himself to be the true villain! As I suspected a couple of films ago (I think it was hinted at in Trapped on Toyworld), the evil Dr. Zoetrope is actually a nice guy. This is a change for the better, as I always thought his character was far more interesting and likable than Irwin’s. Anyway, Irwin steals Zoetrope’s time armor and whisks himself away. Where he goes is for later, as first Josh Kirby must probe the mind of Zoetrope to prove that he’s telling the truth (Read: Full Moon gets lazy once again and shows us a few minutes of footage from the previous films). It is after this blatant offering of stock footage that we finally find out where Irwin got off to, and it is here that the film hits an absolute high of insane, mind-boggling proportions.