Starring Emily Somers, Travis Aaron Wade, Martin Copping, Sonalii Castillo, Janna Bossier, Troy Vincent, Charlie Weirauch, Traci Moslenko, Justin M. Via
Directed by Joe Kawasaki
Expectations: High, the trailer was great.
In the modern age, horror films rarely scare or provide anything we haven’t seen before. The genre has moved into satiating viewers with extreme, sadistic pleasures, instead of interesting ideas and fun scares. But in Reboot, Joe Kawasaki’s Kickstarter-funded, cyberpunk short film, he sets his sights on something truly horrific: Internet terrorism. I have no idea if what is outlined in the film is actually possible, but the idea alone is frightening. Reboot isn’t truly a horror film, but its implications will haunt your thoughts for days as you log into your social media accounts and take it all for granted.
Reboot begins with an intro reminiscent of Koyaanisqatsi, showing us wonderful time-lapse photography of Los Angeles while a radio interview with a couple of hackers plays over the top of it. This intro goes on a little longer than I think it needed to, but it does set up the premise of the film incredibly well. When the title card drops at the end of the intro, and we fade into our heroine lying on the floor with an iPhone glued to her hand, we know exactly the implications of the situation she’s in.
In an effort to build more of a community here, I’m gonna try to regularly do posts like this in addition to all the movie reviews. So to start a new series, I figured I should do it with a bang, and no recent film bang was louder than the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney. Whatever you or I thought about how horrible those prequels were in comparison to the original films, I’m very optimistic about the future of the series outside of Lucas’s hands. No matter what Disney cooks up for Episode VII, it’s bound to be better than the prequels, right?
You would think, but then there’s that key detail about the sale where Lucas also sold them very detailed story outlines of Episodes VII, VIII, & IX. The idea of another Lucas-scripted trilogy is not one that I welcome, but the fact that they aren’t scripts is a sign of hope. Who’s going to be working on it—top men, I’m sure— is still unknown, but I imagine that whoever they get can pull together a better script than Lucas.
But really, the main reason I’m actually excited again for what Star Wars might bring to the screen is held in the fact that Disney has committed to bringing Episode VII to the screen. Not a sidestory, not another prequel or an Old Republic tale, but Episode VII. And with Episode VII, this essentially means that it’s almost a foregone conclusion that it will include the elements that most fans would deem necessary to the success of a Star Wars property: The Empire, Stormtroopers, X-Wings, Tie-Fighters… the list goes on (and I’m not assuming that it would have any of the previously established characters). By focusing on Episode VII, Disney will—hopefully—be bringing the series back to what made it famous.
Will Lando make a triumphant return in Episode VII?
This is one of the key flaws of the prequel trilogy in my eyes, and while I have to applaud Lucas’s “artistic integrity” for “doing something new” and throwing every iconic design out the window, that’s an uphill battle that never should’ve happened. Nobody remembers the shitty ships in the prequels (except for the uninspired silver SR-71), but everyone knows the X-Wing. Hmm, I wonder why. Oh, that’s right, it’s because it looks like an X! Iconic, simple design, and if they’re making new ships (C-Wings, anybody?), then ideally they will be able to make ships that fit alongside these greats. So hopefully Disney learns from Lucas’s critical error and gives the fans a movie full of X-, A-, B-, & Y-Wings dogfightin’ every configuration of Tie-Fighters known to man. They should also look deeply into creating a major villain that lasts the entire trilogy. No one is going to be as badass as Vader, but someone formidable enough to last three movies is a definite step in the right direction after the cavalcade of dumb villains the prequels offered.
But really, even the promise of a Star Wars film with all those things that made me love Star Wars is a sticky proposition as it could easily tread all over my fond memories. And it’s gonna be absolutely dripping with CG. Oh God, imagine a new Star Wars film that made a commitment to stop-motion and practical FX. I can’t think about it too long or else my head will explode. And besides, it would never happen anyway.
Hmm, I don’t know. Could go either way, but I’m definitely excited about Star Wars again. That hasn’t happened in years.
What do you think? What would you like to/not like to see in a new Star Wars film?
Starring Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker
Directed by Drew Goddard
Expectations: Moderately high. Everyone’s great reviews have coerced me into seeing this, but it’s a modern American horror film, it can’t possibly be good.
Well… that was unexpected. I have to give The Cabin in the Woods credit for trying something different, and it is interesting to see how the film unfolds, but it never pulled me in. The whole film I felt like an outsider observing someone else watching a movie, and I was constantly aware of the filmmakers and their desire for me to recognize their cleverness. Not exactly the quickest way to my heart. It’s a weird, twisting in on itself kind of film, and I understand completely why so many people enjoyed it.
With that being said: Fuck this movie. I’m tempted to leave it at that, but that wouldn’t really be of service to anyone. I was sold a bill of goods, but instead it was the old bait and switch, and I even knew some sort of bait and switch was coming! This is the epitome of a movie that should be watched cold, so if you plan to see this, run far, far away (not physically, of course) by clicking one of the many links (or ads… yeah click those!) surrounding this content.
Starring Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina, Andrea Duro, Andros Perugorría, Jazz Vilá, Eliecer Ramírez, Antonio Dechent
Directed by Alejandro Brugués
Expectations: Moderate. I love the gimmick title, so I hope it has the horror (and/or comedy) to back it up.
On the general scale:
On the B-movie scale:
I’ve tried to bring a range of films to this year’s Horrific October, so when I found out about this one, I did what I could to acquire it in time. Juan of the Dead, beyond its gimmicky title, is Cuba’s first horror film, and while it’s not anything revolutionary, it is a lot of fun. I have a lot of problems with it, but I enjoyed the film and honestly, in a zombie movie, that’s about all you need.
Juan of the Dead is something of an homage movie to the zombie genre, taking cues from a host of films and Tarantino-ing them into one film. Did you enjoy the part in Dead Alive when the priest says, “I kick ass for the Lord”? Well, then prepare to hear one of the survivors say exactly that in a dank parking garage. Similarly, other scenes reference Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later, [REC], etc. If you’re OK with this, and you just want to see the zombie apocalypse as scored by salsa music, then ignore everything else and just watch the movie. You might be disappointed, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be entertained.
Starring Andrew Philpot, John Rafter Lee, Michael McShane, Pamela Segall, Wendee Lee, Alex Fernandez, Jack Fletcher, John Di Maggio, Matt Mckenzie, Julia Fletcher
Directed by Yoshiaki Kawajiri
Wait a minute, is that a bunch of Western names on that cast list? It is! Goddamn it, what the hell?! Thanks to some legal bullshitery that I don’t understand (because it doesn’t make sense), Bloodlust is only published in North America in the English version. If you want the Japanese with subtitles, your only bet is to find an absurdly overpriced import or enter the illegal realm of Internet piracy. I have no idea what folks in Europe, Australia or anywhere else might have available, but if you’re lucky maybe you can find it subtitled.
And man is the acting bad. I don’t usually go into the dubbed/subbed debate in my reviews because I figure you’ve already made up your mind, and we anime geeks cling to our opinions as strongly as any other geeks. With the magical arrival of the DVD, this debate has become pretty much a moot point anyway, but every once in a while you stumble onto something like Bloodlust that messes it up. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that the English version was made first, and is therefore the original version. Clearly, this was a dumb move to make, and the decision to do so is baffling. But there’s nothing to do about it, so it’s time for me to suck it up and deal. Everything else about the movie is excellent, so on the whole, I still had a good time.
Expectations: Moderately high. I enjoy the Puppet Master movies.
On the general scale:
On the B-movie scale:
If there’s one thing I love about the Puppet Master films, it’s Tunneler tunneling into people. The budgets on the modern Full Moon films ain’t what they used to be, so I’ve learned to set my expectations accordingly and I was not prepared to see Tunneler going full bore into a Nazi’s forehead within the opening five minutes of the film. I called for this in the review of the last Puppet Master film, and damn if Full Moon didn’t deliver!
In this tenth Puppet Master film (or eleventh if we’re counting the horrible, non-Full Moon Sci-Fi channel entry, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys), we pick up just the next day after the close of the last film, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil. It’s been over a year since I saw that one, so I don’t remember the finer details of where it ends. I recall everyone fighting on a stage and the good guys triumphing. Anyway, in this film Tunneler is quickly lost into Nazi hands and they set their resident puppet master to the task of reverse engineering him so that he can build a machine to resurrect people from the dead. How one leads to the other I don’t know, but whatever, it’s Part 10, what do you want? Anyway, the good guys Danny & Beth (here played by new, better actors) band together with an Army sergeant played by Brad Potts to take out the Nazi threat. That’s overly reductive, but it gives you the gist.
Starring Miriam Yeung, Bai Ling, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, Lee Byung-Heon, Lim Won-Hee, Gang Hye-Jung, Kyoko Hasegawa, Atsuro Watabe, Mai Suzuki, Yuu Suzuki
Directed by Fruit Chan (Dumplings), Park Chan-Wook (Cut), Takashi Miike (Box)
Expectations: High. Good talent involved.
I’m a fan of extremes. It’s in my nature to like pushed boundaries and things outside the prescribed normal edges of taste. So when, just a minute or so into the first short, there is a shot so extreme and insane in its ability to shock and repulse that I’m ripped out of my haze and thrown headlong into wild fits of uncontrollable gasping and cringing, I am impressed. This is exactly what happened at the beginning of Three… Extremes, the sequel to the overall underwhelming Three.
Three… Extremes once again brings together three Asian directors from different countries and lets them loose to deliver whatever their hearts desire. First up is Dumplings from Hong Kong’s Fruit Chan, the director of one of my favorite Hong Kong films, Made in Hong Kong. But as much as I like that movie, I’ve never seen anything else from him, so I started Dumplings with a palpable excitement. Chan didn’t let me down either, as he quickly grabbed hold of the reins and never let go. This is easily the most extreme tale, which is somewhat disappointing because it’s first, but Chan is also the least well-known of the three directors here, so just like a nightclub line-up, it makes sense to place his film first. But it’s really a shame when your opener blows you away, and that’s exactly what Fruit Chan does to both Park Chan-Wook and Takashi Miike.
Starring Emily Somers, Travis Aaron Wade, Martin Copping, Sonalii Castillo, Janna Bossier, Troy Vincent, Charlie Weirauch, Traci Moslenko, Justin M. Via
Starring Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker
Juan of the Dead [Juan de los Muertos] (2011)
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust [バンパイアハンターD] (2000)
Starring Kip Canyon, Jean Louise O’Sullivan, Brad Potts, Scott King, Stephanie Sanditz, Oto Brezina
Three… Extremes [三更2] (2004)