Mac and Me (1988)

AKA Mi amigo Mac, Mac – O Extraterrestre, Mac, a földönkívüli barát, Mick… mein Freund vom anderen Stern

Starring Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Tina Caspary, Lauren Stanley, Jade Calegory, Vinnie Torrente, Martin West, Ivan J. Rado, Danny Cooksey, Laura Waterbury, Ronald McDonald

Directed by Stewart Raffill

Expectations: I have high hopes that this will deliver some B-Movie fun.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

OK, hear me out! If you’re a child of the 80s like myself, you most likely saw this movie when you were a kid and have some vague memories of how it did a horrible job of ripping off Steven Spielberg’s slightly more famous stranded alien film, E.T. The Extraterrestrial. Like fine wine, time has been very kind to our friend Mac and his zany adventures through the Los Angeles basin, resulting in one of the most unexpectedly fun re-watches in a long time.

The film opens on a distant planet in our solar system. Which planet is never revealed, but the foreboding presence of Saturn overhead suggests that it might be one of the ringed planet’s sixty-two moons. I guess now is a good time to state that it’s important that any sort of analytical or critical thinking must be turned off for the remainder of the film or used simply as comedy, as anything else will only result in sheer disappointment with this cinematic gem. OK, where was I? The planet is inhabited by weird creatures with eternally surprised looks on their faces, doing their best to survive. The dad (or Big Mac) busts into the soil and inserts a makeshift straw, sucking out the life-giving water inside. Due to their surprised facial structure, their mouths are always ready to go for straw-drinking, and with mouths like that I’d imagine the straw would’ve been one of the first tools this species invented… or maybe their world is populated with straw trees and in order to survive the creatures evolved and adapted to use the tools given them by the area they inhabited. It’s questions like this that we’ll never have a definitive answer for, as the promised sequel unfortunately never materialized.

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Subspecies (1991)

Starring Anders Hove, Laura Tate, Irina Movila, Michelle McBride, Michael Watson, Mara Grigore, Adrian Valcu, Ivan J. Rado, Angus Scrimm

Directed by Ted Nicolaou

Expectations: Moderate.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:

It had to happen at some point. With all the horror films coming out of Full Moon, it was inevitable that they’d pump out a vampire flick sooner or later. Subspecies came around fairly early in their life cycle and ended up being one of their most popular series, spawning three sequels and side story spin-off film. I’m getting ahead of myself though, as today I’m only here to answer the question, “Is the original Subspecies worth all that fuss?”

Subspecies opens with a great scene between the evil exiled vampire Radu (Anders Hove) and his father, The King (Angus Scrimm). The King tries to imprison Radu by dropping a metal cage on him, but Radu has a trick up his sleeve in his fingers. Radu is no joke; he fuckin’ breaks off his fingertips, dropping them to the ground. They wriggle and ooze blood, slowly transforming into three-inch high demons called Subspecies! It’s fuckin’ awesome! From here, Radu gains control of his father’s bloodstone, a red crystal that eternally oozes life-giving blood for the vampire that doesn’t get out much. Meanwhile, three college students come to Romania to study the local folklore. They soon find themselves wrapped up in a struggle to stay alive against the evil that is Radu!

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