Witchouse (1999)

Starring Matt Raftery, Monica Serene Garnich, Brooke Mueller, Ashley McKinney Taylor, Dave Oren Ward, Ryan Scott Greene, Marissa Tait, Dane Northcutt, Kimberly Pullis, Jason Faunt, Ariauna Albright

Directed by David DeCoteau

Expectations: I feel like this is going to be rough.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


Witchouse is just like any number of Full Moon movies. It’s directed by David DeCoteau, it’s relatively short, and it carries a lighter tone than your average horror film. Where the conflict arises is that DeCoteau’s style has really settled into my heart over the course of writing about all these Full Moon films. Witchouse isn’t a great example of a DeCoteau film — it actually feels like his heart wasn’t in this one (even if his trademark “heartbeat on the soundtrack” is 🙂 — but regardless, I had a very fun time watching it.

Elizabeth (Ashley McKinney Taylor) lives in the Gothic mansion her family has inhabited for hundreds of years, and she’s throwing a party for her old school friends. The first couple to arrive, Bob & Margaret, find the mansion deserted, though. Like all good horror movie characters, they decide to check out the basement and fornicate, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re savagely murdered by a shadowy figure. And now, the party can begin…

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Murdercycle (1999)

Murdercycle (1999)
AKA Mörderbike

Starring Charles Wesley, Cassandra Ellis, Robert Donavan, Michael Vachetti, Robert Staccardo, William Vogt, Dane Northcutt, David A.R. White

Directed by Tom Callaway

Expectations: Pretty high, actually. The cover is incredible, and the title… oh yeah!

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


Like all B-Movies, Murdercycle isn’t for everyone. Those that value exciting dialogue exchanges between meaningful characters won’t make it past minute five. Those hoping for a story that is unique and original will need to look elsewhere. Murdercycle is like a melting pot of various sci-fi ideas all rolled into… something. I’m not going to tell you that this is some hidden gem that rises above its poor budget to deliver something worthwhile for the average viewer. What I will tell you is that it does deliver some ridiculous, low-budget action, and if that’s all you’re expecting, it will entertain.

Murdercycle takes its inspiration from the Shakespeare classic, King Lear, which, coincidentally, also had the tagline “Alien Death Machine” on its original posters. Little known fact. Anyway, one night at some long-forgotten government installation, a meteor slams into the ground near an unsuspecting dirt biker and before he knows it, the meteor has busted open and a black symbiotic being (much like Venom) latches onto his body and the body of his dirt bike, thus turning them into the Murdercycle! Now that’s what I call entertainment!

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