Creepozoids (1987)

Starring Linnea Quigley, Ken Abraham, Michael Aranda, Richard L. Hawkins, Ashlyn Gere (as Kim McKamy), Joi Wilson

Directed by David DeCoteau

Expectations: Low. Early DeCoteau has burned me before, but the poster looks fun.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:


I think the best place to start a review of Creepozoids is with the typed narrative intro that informs viewers of the world they are about to inhabit. It reads as follows:

1998 — Six years after the superpowers have engaged in a devastating nuclear exchange,
Earth is now a blackened husk of a planet.

Tiny clusters of survivors eke out a miserable existence in the ruins of the cities, and bands
of deserters roam the barren wastelands… hiding from mutant nomads and seeking shelter
from the deadly acid rains.

This exciting and somewhat clichéd setup is already more story than director David DeCoteau’s first film, Dreamaniac, had, and for the most part Creepozoids delivers on the promises set forth in the text. During the opening credits our group of heroes traverse the burned out urban wasteland, looking to find some shelter before another round of acid rain showers the Earth. Luckily they find what they seek, but unbeknownst to them, they’ve all sought refuge in a government science installation tasked with creating a higher form of life. Since this is a sci-fi/horror film, of course “higher form of life” means a ruthless, unstoppable monster.

Continue reading Creepozoids (1987) →

Dreamaniac (1986)

Starring Thomas Bern, Ashlyn Gere (as Kim McKamy), Sylvia Summers, Brent Black, Cynthia Crass, Lisa Emery, Brad Laughlin, Linda Denise Martin, Bob Pelham, Lauren Peterson, Matthew Phelps, Michael Warren

Directed by David DeCoteau

Expectations: Low. I have a bad feeling about this one.

On the general scale:
nostar (NO STARS)

On the B-Movie scale:
halfstar


Now this is what I’m talking about when I talk about a piece-of-shit movie. Dreamaniac makes Troll 2 look like a Lawrence of Arabia style epic in comparison. Where Troll 2 backs up its poor execution with tons of fun, Dreamanic is an absolute chore to sit through whilst retaining your sanity. One of the worst knocks against a low-level horror movie is boredom and let me tell you, Snoremaniac would be a more apt title. Having to recall and write about this film may end up being more painful than actually viewing it.

Continue reading Dreamaniac (1986) →

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