Directed by John Milius
Expectations: Extremely high.
Conan the Barbarian opens with a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” A far better actor than many give him credit for, Conan the Barbarian provided Arnold Schwarzenegger a chance at destiny. The films leading him to the role of Conan were of varying quality, but the fires of Pumping Iron or The Jayne Mansfield Story tested, trained and forged the steel of his resolve like the steel of the sword that is forged during Conan‘s opening credits. These experiences shaped Arnold into the hulking beast of a man awaiting his rightful place in the spotlight of Hollywood’s explosive action films. He seized this opportunity like a champion, delivering a muscular, vengeful performance that continues to resonate over 30 years later. Conan the Barbarian is a stunning achievement, and one of my favorite films.
Conan the Barbarian tells a very simple tale, but like all great fantasy stories, there is a focus on grand adventure that sets Conan apart from other films of its vintage. Watching it this time, it reminded me a lot of Richard Donner’s Superman, in that it takes a story that many would have made into a trashy genre film and treats it with respect and verisimilitude. Conan is not a B-Movie with swords, it’s an epic journey of revenge across the wide plains of Hyboria.
Also over the past year or so, I’ve had the chance to read through a whole book of Robert E. Howard’s original Conan tales. While there are definite differences between the two versions of the character (and purists likely still scoff at the mention of this film), I find the stories and the film to share a very similar feel. Conan the Barbarian may not hold true to the mythology or the history that Howard built for the character, but it does hold true to the spirit of the character and to the world. There’s also a few quick references to the stories in the movie that I never noticed before (such as the mention of black lotus as a mind-altering substance).
Conan the Barbarian is a must-see for all fantasy fans, as well as anyone who digs on testosterone-fueled movies designed to make you want to buy a home gym, an anvil and a loincloth. Conan is the shit.