Silver Emulsion

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Uncle Jasper — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Django and Sartana are Coming... It's the End (1970)

Uncle Jasper — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Django and Sartana are Coming… It’s the End [Arrivano Django e Sartana... è la fine] (1970) Starring Hunt Powers, Gordon Mitchell, Victoriano Gazzara, Simone Blondell, Dennis Colt, Celso Faria Directed By Demofilo Fidani A beautiful woman has been kidnapped by outlaws, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the beautiful woman? So sums up the gripping plot you will find in Demofilo Fidani’s ultra-low budget Django and Sartana are Coming… It’s the End. Yes, I’ve seen 8-bit NES games with more intricate storylines than the one you will find here. Make no bones about it, this is welfare Django. This is the kind of Django you go out and spend your booklet of food stamps on because Franco Nero and Anthony Steffen Django are way above your price range. This is government-issued Django… loaded with high-fructose corn syrup and bad for your heart. But god dammit, this is all the Django we have for you today, so let’s make the best of it, eh? Monetary constraints and Fidani’s fondness for single-takes are pretty evident right off the bat as our hero slides off of his horse, pulls hard on the reigns and tries to goad his very uncooperative steed into following him on foot. It takes a few pretty stern tugs, but the horse eventually follows. But now wait. Django soon fumbles around and drops his canteen in the grass. This is definitely not Corbucci’s vision of a badass coffin-dragging Django we are dealing with here… Fidani’s Django can’t even hold onto his own shit, let alone tug a casket behind him. This time he is joined by that other iconic Italian outlaw, Sartana. For those not hip to the spaghettis, Sartana is basically Django with magic powers, kind of like Django the Bastard’s version of Django. But whereas Django is usually killing outlaws for money or out of revenge, Sartana is doing it because “it’s the right thing to do”. Both characters were ripped off and milked to death by the Italian film industry, Sartana only less so. With all of that said, this film pretty much ignores every single trait of both characters and chooses instead to do its own thing. Think of this film as the slightly-classier, spaghetti equivalent to The Clones of Bruce Lee and you’ll kind of get the idea of what we’re dealing with here. Django is kind of an asshole and a bit of a womanizer this time around, not to mention a little aloof. I don’t know if this was Fidani’s attempt to make the holier-than-thou Sartana appear even more noble in this outing, but I have to say, Sartana definitely comes off as the more capable (and likable) of the two. When Django gets cornered in a saloon ambush, three pretty rough looking guys mop the floor with him with relative ease. He later escapes, not due to his own cunning, but because one of his lady friends cuts him free. Sartana on the other hand gets ambushed in a barn, kicks the shit out of his ambushers, and then proceeds to gun down a town full of heavies. Who would you want on your side? Both of them are on the trail of Crazy Kelly and his gang of inept outlaws who have kidnapped a woman and are holding her for ransom. Those expecting craziness from Crazy Kelly will not be disappointed. He’s not simply crazy, he’s KRAZY. Krazy as in mildly schizophrenic. Krazy as in mentally retarded. Krazy as in completely batshit insane. Krazy. Yeah, this man is definitely touched. When he’s not playing poker with his own reflection in a mirror, he’s looking through make-believe coffee cup binoculars or dual wielding rifles as he lies barefoot on his bed shooting at imaginary gunfighters. When confronted with the question of how a man so mentally stunted and incompetent could come to control his own gang of outlaws, one only needs to look back a few years ago and remember our previous president. Suddenly it makes complete sense. Although Django and Sartana work independently of each other for most of the film, they do tend to show up at convenient times when the other needs to be bailed out. Those expecting witty banter and double fisted action ala 48 hrs. or Tango and Cash might be a little disappointed, but they do have a fun little moment together towards the end of the film as they divvy up dead bodies between each other for bounty money. With a film like this, you have to take it for what it is. Comparing it to a Saturday matinee B-serial might be giving it slightly more credit than it deserves. It’s more like a mid-season episode of Thundercats. But on that level it’s pretty entertaining. There’s definitely plenty of cheese to love here. From the horribly awful fight sequences which look like cobbled-together home movies from my 4 year old’s taekwondo class to the two rubber cacti that the crew used over and over for nearly every exterior shot (they are in the film so often they practically qualify as supporting actors). If Corbucci’s original is the Rolls Royce, then Django and Sartana are Coming is definitely the Plymouth Duster of our film festival… it ain’t pretty, but it’ll get you where you’re going.

Mini-Review: I Love You, Alice B. Toklas (1968)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I Love You, Alice B. Toklas (1968) Starring Peter Sellers, Jo Van Fleet, Leigh Taylor-Young, Joyce Van Patten, David Arkin Directed by Hy Averback Expectations: None at all.

The film opens with some hippie guru saying stuff like, "Do you know who you are? You must know a flower before you can know yourself." Cut to: Peter Sellers driving a car through the downtown city. Sellers plays a Woody Allen type of character, a slightly neurotic normal man who has all kinds of extraordinary circumstances surrounding him. Generally in a Woody Allen film this is funny, but this film isn't so much. Sellers does the best he can with the material, but this kind of counter-culture film just isn't going to play well forty-two years later. There's some jokes about how this Mexican family is trying to pull some insurance fraud when someone rear-ended their car carrying eleven people and some chickens. The family all walks into Sellers' office wearing neck braces. Maybe I'm twisted, but I laughed when I saw the kids wearing neck braces. The whole scene was surprising though, as you don't see many of these blatant stereotypes in films nowadays. There was a joke about hearse drivers being on strike that was pretty good. The opening of the film isn't bad and has promise, but it slowly slides into pointless hippie drivel when a girl makes pot brownies for Sellers, after which he decides to leave his current self behind and live the free and unihibited hippie way. If you're a big Peter Sellers fan, you might give this one a look, but don't expect too much. It hasn't aged well.

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Uncle Jasper — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

About

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 14:03:20 +0000

The actual silver emulsion is the key that makes it possible for films to be made. Unfortunately, every film made is not worth watching. That's where this Silver Emulsion comes in. Here you will find honest, direct film reviews that don't go on and on summarizing the plot of the movie, instead focusing on what matters. Acting, Directing, Cinematography, but most importantly, "Is it worth watching?"

bad-lieutenant-poster

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:20:11 +0000

blankstar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:54:32 +0000

filledstar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:54:43 +0000

halfstar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:54:52 +0000

onestar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 05:08:21 +0000

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 05:18:52 +0000

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) Directed by Werner Herzog Starring Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes Expectations: Low due to Nicolas Cage, but optimistic because of Werner Herzog.

Until now, I had not seen a Werner Herzog movie I didn't enjoy. I unabashedly love his documentaries. His fiction films are less interesting, but so far I've seen enough to know that his work is usually engaging on some level and worth my time. This is not the case with Herzog's latest, Bad Lieutenant. Nicolas Cage plays the same character he's been playing for years, the washed up drug-addled fiend that can't quite get his life together. Does he at least play it well? Not really, but I've never been a big fan. To his credit, the supporting cast is worse than he is, with an overweight, bored Val Kilmer at the top of the trash heap. Brad Dourif plays a bookie and has the distinction of being one of the few believable actors in the film. Cage plays a drug addict cop that is slowly slipping over the edge into oblivion. He is surrounded by the rest of the clichéd corrupt cop genre characters; the call girl, the useless partner cop, the dealer, the woman with a baby at the door of the dealer's house who let's on where the dealer is hiding. You get the idea. Cage is investigating the murder of a family of immigrants from Senegal, but the story goes haphazardly between the mystery and Cage getting off in some way, be it sex or drugs or both. Herzog likes to deal with madness and obsession in his films, and Cage's character has both in spades, but he doesn't do anything to make it engaging. I love a good obsession film, but this was just boring. Cage really should hang it up at this point, or at least take a few years off. It would be unfair though to lay all the blame on the actors as Herzog seems to be as uninterested in the story as I was. I was hoping that the film might rise above the swampy filth it had been sulking in, but alas, the pull was too great. On a positive note, the film's score by Mark Isham isn't too bad and in spots, is pretty good. So yeah, I hated it. Avoid at all costs.

Redcliffposter

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 04:48:15 +0000

threestar

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:42:23 +0000

Red Cliff: Part I (2008)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:57:35 +0000

Red Cliff Part I [赤壁] (2008) Directed by John Woo Starring Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Takeshi Kaneshiro Expectations: Moderate. I loved John Woo when I was a teenager, but I am more realistic about his strength as a filmmaker these days.

No one films action like John Woo. He is known for it and he does it very well. The action sequences in Red Cliff Part I are outstanding, specifically the battle at the end of the film. The final battle fills up most of the last hour and it flies by. Without a doubt, one of the best action sequences in recent memory. It's incredibly inventive and it feels like new ground, which is hard considering the massive legacy of kung fu pictures. But to lump Red Cliff with standard kung fu films is wrong, because it really is more than that. It's epic in its scope and its production design. It's a kung fu film for the post-Lord of the Rings film era. But this is also where it falls a bit short for me. This first part of the film runs 146 minutes. It's long. It feels long. There are times when certain scenes don't seem necessary, so I found myself waiting through them, hoping for a better one next time. But a lot of my disappointment stems from my expectations. I came in to this film expecting a John Woo action picture. It delivers on that promise, no doubt, but it just takes a while to get there, so plan accordingly. The story is based on the Chinese classic historical novel, Romance of the Three Kingdoms. It chronicles the story of Sun Quan and Liu Bei defending the Southlands against the Imperial Army led by General Cao Cao. Fighting on the side of the South are Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, who you will be familiar with if you've ever played a Dynasty Warriors game (which is also based on Romance of the Three Kingdoms). Being a fan of the Game Boy Advance version of the game, it was a treat to see these characters come to life. The film is well shot and surprisingly colorful. For me, there was an overuse of close-ups but Woo's choice to film his dialogue scenes without over-the-shoulder shots wins him so many points that I don't mind the close-ups so much. There are computer generated effects in the film and they are easily the weakest link. There are times when they aren't bad, but some of the effects are ridiculous and laughable. Towards the end there are some overhead shots of horses running into formation and the animation on them is horrible. Truthfully, it's a small annoyance in a great looking shot, so I can easily shrug it off and continue watching. I fully recommend Red Cliff Part I to anyone that enjoys foreign films or has enjoyed John Woo's work in the past. For those that have never seen any of his films, it's not the best starting point for his work, but you could easily do worse (see: Paycheck (2003)...actually, don't see it). And yes, before you ask, there are doves. Lots of doves. Part II review coming soon.

threehalfstar

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:21:25 +0000

143880~Brigadoon-Posters

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:22:23 +0000

Brigadoon (1954)

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:40:41 +0000

Brigadoon (1954) Starring Gene Kelly, Cyd Charisse, Van Johnson Directed by Vincente Minnelli Expectations: I've seen this movie countless times as a child and always enjoyed it. Does it hold up?

I decided to watch Brigadoon again for the first time in about twelve years. Well, that's not exactly true. I checked out the DVD from the library because I saw that it had some outtake musical numbers that I had never seen before. When I put the disc in to watch these outtakes, I decided first to watch a bit of the actual film to get myself into the mood. About two hours and one Brigadoon later, I got around to watching the outtakes. I couldn't stop myself from watching the entire film. Brigadoon tells the story of two hunters (played by Gene Kelly and Van Johnson) who find themselves lost in a Scottish forest. Out of the mist, the town of Brigadoon reveals itself and before Gene Kelly knows it, he's met the girl of his dreams (Cyd Charisse). I watched this movie at least twenty times while I was growing up. It was one of the staple movies in our family. At first, I hated it. "Oh, not Brigadoon again," I said to myself. The more times I watched it though, I found myself looking forward to parts throughout the movie. First it was the chase sequence towards the end. Then I became fond of the song "I'll Go Home With Bonnie Jean." Pretty soon, I was enjoying the whole thing. So going into this viewing, I expected it bore me instead of slowly enchant me the way it had in the past. Almost immediately though, I knew I would still enjoy it. First, the music is still fantastic. The orchestration and lyrics are excellent if you enjoy 1950s movie musicals. This was also the first time I was able to view the film in its natural CinemaScope aspect ratio, and this made quite a difference. Instead of the tight framing I remembered, the images were very well composed and balanced, with the scenes set in Scotland full of open space. This perfectly fits the country life vs. city life theme that runs throughout the film. Towards the end, Gene Kelly returns to New York for a bit and every shot is cramped with multiple people having multiple overlapping conversations. In these moments, all Kelly and the viewer can think of are the charming people of Brigadoon and the wide open spaces. Another thing of note is that there are no close ups in the entire film. The closest we ever get is a medium close up and even those are used sparingly and only for effect. The majority of the film is composed of long shots of everyone's entire body, which works great as most of the time they are dancing around and it is great to be able to watch the craft of it all without needless intercuts of tapping feet and the like. This does lend a very "filmed theater" quality to the film, so don't watch it expecting a cinematic masterpiece. To be fair, the movie is based on a very successful Broadway play, so the idea that it looks like filmed theater is essentially what it is. None of this detracts from the experience though. It is this way because it works and the small amount of film touches augment the story and make it a great film. The sets are standard 1950s Hollywood fare, meaning they are obviously sets with matte paintings. Personally, I don't mind this but I know its a negative for a lot of modern viewers. For the time, I'd say these sets were actually pretty nice and the matte paintings are amazing. There are times when it all looks a bit like Disneyland (the Grand Canyon part of the Railroad to be exact), but this is a minor flaw. I would be interested in knowing how audiences in 1954 responded to it, as John Ford's Best Picture winning "The Quiet Man" was released two years earlier and was quite memorably shot on location in Ireland. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed re-watching Brigadoon today and I wholeheartedly recommend it to any fan of 1950s Hollywood musicals that hasn't already slipped through the mist and into Brigadoon.

766638192

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:56:08 +0000

519-ri+nkGL._SL160_

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:27:53 +0000

517AsVqBCSL._SL160_

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:28:00 +0000

Red Cliff: Part II (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:44:13 +0000

Red Cliff Part II [赤壁] (2009) Directed by John Woo Starring Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhang Fengyi Expectations: Moderate to High. I enjoyed the first one a lot and I hoped that Part II was as good.

So the question is, does Part II live up to the expectations built up after watching Part I? Yes, yes it does. I liked this 140 minutes of Red Cliff more than the first 140 minutes, not necessarily because it's better, but because of familiarity. Part II opens with a brief rundown of what happened in Part I over the credits. The first new shot is of troops opening the gate into Cao Cao's camp. The music swelled and I broke a smile. It reminded me of how I felt when I first saw Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Both films (Rings & Cliff) were made as one movie and then chopped into parts for release. So instead of the feeling of watching a sequel, with a slightly different production style, you are watching more scenes from the same movie. It's a good, nostalgic feeling of revisiting something you love and finding treasures you had never seen before. From there, Part II just consistently entertains. I especially enjoyed the part when Sun Shangxiang (Zhao Wei) is infiltrating and mapping Cao Cao's camp and when the Southerners use a very inventive way to get the 100,000 arrows they need. The end battle of Part II is nothing short of spectacular. It's a part naval battle, part castle siege, part kung fu action extravaganza. Like Part I, this end battle fills up the final hour of the film. The review would not be complete without mentioning how awesome Zhang Fengyi is as Cao Cao. Absolutely perfect in the role. All the actors are great, but Zhang Fengyi's performance really caught me by surprise. Both films are full of standard John Woo touches such as the doves, slow motion violence and Mexican standoffs, but none of it feels forced or out-of-place as it has in some of his American films. The films really are a great triumph for Chinese cinema. I've seen tons of Chinese and Hong Kong movies over the years and I am hard pressed to remember anything that comes close to the level of epic spectacle that Red Cliff oozes. The two films originally came out in Asia a few months apart and Red Cliff Part II benefits from the added time in post production. The minor problems I had with the animations in Part I are essentially non-existent in Part II. This film is also better than Part I in the same way that Godfather II is better than The Godfather. It builds on the first film's foundation perfectly. The second could not exist without the first though, and in watching the second, my appreciation for the first has increased. A word to the wise. You might be thinking, "I don't really have five hours to waste on one movie. Maybe I'll watch that US edited version that's only 2 1/2 hours." Don't. I can't stress it enough. Watch the "International Edition Parts I & II." If you have any interest in this movie, you are doing yourself a disservice by watching the US edition. Part I is reduced to about 54 minutes. C'mon now. I feel very satisfied with my viewing of Red Cliff. It is, by far, John Woo's best movie in years.

Seafarers_title

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:50:17 +0000

Mini-Review: The Seafarers (1953)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:54:50 +0000

The Seafarers (1953) Directed by Stanley Kubrick

The Seafarers is a documentary directed by Stanley Kubrick two years before his feature debut, Killer's Kiss. It was thought lost for many years, but in 2008 it was released on DVD for hardcore Kubrick fans to watch and analyze. It is an industrial short made for the Seafarers International Union to show to potential members. It is notable as Kubrick's first use of color film. Surprisingly, there are a few moments of the budding Kubrick touch. The most enjoyable were the sideways moving dolly shots through the cafeteria. I always found the similar shot through the apartment in "The Killing" (1956) to be one of my favorites, so it's fun to see what that shot evolved from. A fun 30 minutes for any Kubrick fan, but don't expect anything groundbreaking.

500-days-of-summer-01

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:02:09 +0000

twohalfstar

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:08:43 +0000

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:19:11 +0000

(500) Days of Summer (2009) Starring Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt Directed by Marc Webb Expectations: Extremely low.

This movie was better than I expected. It wasn't great, but it had its moments. It's one of those movies that people like to call "a cute little movie." It tells the story of Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a greeting card writer, who believes that one day he will meet his soul mate. Enter Summer (Zooey Deschanel). But as the opening narration states, this isn't a love story. It's also not really a comedy. It's more of a drama than the ad campaigns would have you believe. The films unravels in a non-linear way, which I almost always feel is a clever device used to make a boring story more palatable. In this case it mostly works, but at only 97 minutes, it still feels really long. That is not to say that it's uninteresting, just that some of the scenes could have been more engaging. The film is also incredibly mainstream looking movie for an independent film. Tons of over-the-shoulder dialogue shots and close-ups. It's not without innovation though. There are a few great ideas in the movie that are executed with perfection. Spoiling them would be just rotten of me, so I'll just say that one of them involves the main character looking into a mirrored surface and seeing a very clever reflection. There's also a fantastic split-screen scene involving expectations. I'll leave it at that. The film's main character goes through a similar journey to George Clooney's character in "Up in the Air." They both have skewed views on love (for different reasons) and find themselves in over their heads, falling for this new person in their lives. They would make for an interesting double feature pairing because both films aim themselves at different age groups but deal with very similar themes. (500) Days of Summer is also plagued with tons of pop culture references. I get frustrated with this kind of thing, but after the first 30 minutes or so they weren't as frequent. The filmmakers were definitely trying to capitalize on the formula and built-in audience of "Juno." The formula being: (Indie Movie + Indie Music + Obscure/Semi-Obscure Pop Culture References = Indie Box Office Gold). I don't mind a well-placed reference but continual references to The Smiths go beyond augmentation and become demographic targeting. This is director Marc Webb's first film and also the first produced screenplay of Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber. I attribute the uneven nature of the film to this. They're throwing a handful of things at the wall and hoping most of them stick. Some do, and those that do work well. Overall, it's a moderately enjoyable movie that is at times boring, at other times clichéd, and at other times still, clever. I liked it, but you'd never catch me watching it a second time.

Battle for Terra (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 01:40:32 +0000

Battle for Terra (2009) Originally released as "Terra" in 2007 outside the US Starring the voices of Evan Rachel Wood, Brian Cox and Luke Wilson Directed by Aristomenis Tsirbas Expectations: Low. I'm not too fond of 3D animation, but I love sci-fi.

I'm a huge science fiction fan. This is a blessing and a curse. In the case of Battle for Terra, it's a bit of both. There's nothing wrong with the film, it's pretty good. As a long-time sci-fi fan though, there isn't anything in this film that's particularly new or unexplored within the genre. It is very similar to "Avatar" in that way. What makes this more enjoyable than Avatar is Terra's eighty-four minute runtime. It doesn't over stay its welcome. The film opens by introducing an alien culture living in a tree-like structure floating above the clouds. The inhabitants of the city look like ants, but they don't have legs and they float around as well. It's sci-fi, just go with it. One day, a mysterious ship covers the sun and some villagers get abducted. A rebellious child named Mala (Evan Rachel Wood) investigates the situation and we're off. The film moves along at a brisk pace and never gets boring. There are a couple of logic flaws and the characters are a bit flat, but one expects that from a kid's movie. The character models were too simple and cartoonish for me and some of the textures could be better, but those are complaints due to my age more than anything else. I was on the edge of my seat during a couple of fantastic, tense moments when one of the characters must make huge, moral decisions. The scenes held real weight and were edited well to increase this tension. The end battle also teems with action and excitement. The film is well shot and edited, making for an overall visually pleasing film. For younger viewers, this is a great introduction to the sci-fi genre and many of its classic themes. I wouldn't be surprised if this film builds a cult following of kids that loved it growing up, much in the same way that I love "The Last Starfighter" (1984) or "Flight of the Navigator" (1986). They aren't the best movies, but they were there during my formative years and they helped expand my mind into science fiction horizons. Battle for Terra is one of those types of films, it just came around a few years too late to catch me completely in its spell.

415px-Battle-for-terra-poster

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 01:41:45 +0000

61XG7XE8KML._SS500_

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:29:52 +0000

Mini Review: 21 Up (1977)

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:36:36 +0000

21 Up (1977) Directed by Michael Apted

21 Up continues the series of documentary films started in 1964 that follows the lives of fourteen British children. The idea for the first film, Seven Up, came about from the Jesuit motto, "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man." Every seven years the same children are interviewed about their lives and world views. It is an incredible concept and it's interesting to see how the children grow up. One flaw is that some of the participants are affected by seeing the films prior to being interviewed, specifically some of the upper class children, so their answers don't seem as real as in earlier entries. There is something to be said about the fact that they are affected at all though. It suggests that taking a step back and being able to see themselves from another's perspective, they find that they might be more biased than they thought themselves to be. I realize that this is an unavoidable flaw but it still nags at me. My other problem with these films is that each one gets longer than the last. Most of the material is very dry and some of the interviews don't really go anywhere. I love the series, but they are a slog to get through.

fourstar

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 14:15:29 +0000

a_serious_man

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 14:15:50 +0000

A Serious Man (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 15:04:07 +0000

A Serious Man (2009) Starring Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed Written and Directed by Joel & Ethan Coen Expectations: Moderately high. I love the Coen Bros, but they've burned me before.

Wow. I don't know what to say. I honestly don't feel qualified enough to form a complete response to this movie. I loved it. Absolutely one of the best films of 2009, but this is so not a film for everyone. The Coen Brothers generally make polarizing movies, but this is even in its own league within their filmography. It is probably their darkest and most personal comedy, and it instantly ranks with their best work for me. This also makes it a tough nut to crack. Immediately after watching I felt that I needed to see it again, and I would say that most would need a couple of viewings to really get their heads around it. If the ending to No Country for Old Men left you scratching your head, then you will want to assume that position once again. If you enjoy that sort of ambiguity as much as me though, then you are in for a treat. A Serious Man tells the story of Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), who just can't seem to get anything going in his direction. His wife is leaving him for a widowed family friend. His kids have zero respect for him. He's almost tenured in his teaching job, but now that is up in the air as well. Don't worry, this is all towards the beginning, but viewing this film isn't so much about the plot as it is about the atmosphere and connecting to the sad helplessness of Larry. The film takes place in the late 1960s and it feels like it. Period details and music abound and delight. The Coen's have acknowledged that this film is a retelling of the biblical tale of Job and I think they have done some marvelous work in the pseudo-adaptation. It is an absolute travesty that this did not win for Best Screenplay. Familiarity to the story of Job is not necessary to understand the film, but it helps. In a nutshell, it is a story of Job as God puts him through great hardships in a trial of faith. It's a rather disturbing story, but in the end Job is rewarded for his faith and for never renouncing God. It is the ultimate "endure this suffering now, for great reward later" story. The difference in the Coen's version is that for me, I don't believe that Larry Gopnick will ever get that reward that Job's story would suggest. The acting is fantastic across the board. I had never seen Michael Stuhlbarg in anything before and I won't be surprised when he starts popping up in lots of movies. He was excellent. The film is skillfully shot and edited as I have come to expect from the Coens. They are masters at the top of their art form and it is an absolute pleasure to watch. You do need a fairly offbeat, dark sense of humor to even see the comedy in this film, as it would play as a boring drama that makes little sense otherwise. I look forward to watching this film many times in the future.

Wong_Fei_Hung

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 13:13:01 +0000

Special Feature: Once Upon a Time in China (1991)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 13:44:14 +0000

My new friend J.P. and I share a love for Hong Kong movies. We are celebrating it with a special double post Siskel/Ebert kind of review for one film. This time around, the film is Tsui Hark's "Once Upon a Time in China." Make sure you head over to his site at: http://jpfmovies.wordpress.com/ when you're done here to read his thoughts on the film. Now back to your regularly scheduled reviews.

Once Upon a Time in China [黃飛鴻] (1991) Starring Jet Li, Yuen Biao, Rosamund Kwan, Jacky Cheung, Kent Cheng, Yee Kwan Yan Directed by Tsui Hark Expectations: High. I love this movie.

Bravery soaring! Magnanimity overflowing! It has been at least eight years since I've seen this. Back when I was watching nothing but Hong Kong movies with my friends, this was one of our top films. Going into watching this again, I had incredibly high expectations. There was no way it could live up to those kind of hopes, and in some ways it doesn't, but overall I still really love this film. My tastes have changed over the years and it struck me how old the film felt. It didn't feel like 1991, it felt more like 1971. That was when it hit me. This movie has more in common at a base level with a traditional Shaw Brothers kung fu flick than I had ever noticed before. The fight choreography and wire work are completely modern, but it has the feeling and the charm of a classic from the Run Run Shaw studio. In this way, Once Upon a Time in China is a look back, while taking a step forward. The fights are spectacular. They're what you are here for, and if not, they should be. The umbrella fight early on is quite good, but nothing can prepare you for the final battle in the warehouse involving multiple ladders. Even with the wire-work, the sheer level of acrobatic and physical ability on display is amazing. I remembered this fight a lot better than I remembered the rest of the film because my friends and I used to re-watch this fight over and over back in the day. It's truly fantastic. I was a little disappointed that Yuen Biao didn't get more to do in the way of fighting, but as his character was a guy that wanted to learn Kung Fu, I suppose I can forgive this. I remember always being kind of bored during the non-fight portions of the film and to some degree I still was. I think I understood the story more than I ever had before, but realistically this movie is not about the plot so much as it is a vehicle for Jet Li to kick-ass as Chinese folk hero Wong Fei-Hung and emerge as the new movie star in town. What interested me this time around was the predominant theme of East vs. West that runs throughout. A number of characters state that "Fists (or kung fu) cannot defeat guns" during the course of the film and this inevitable westernization of China troubles Fei-Hung. How can someone such as himself, so rooted in the old ways, find a place in the new China? After defeating the remarkable Master Yim (Yee Kwan Yan) and retreating outside, Yim follows Fei-Hung only to be gunned down by American soldiers trying to kill Fei-Hung. In this moment, the reality of kung fu vs. guns hits Wong Fei-Hung and the viewer like a shadowless kick to the face. There is no dignity in a bullet, there is no honor in victory from afar. Masters Fei-Hung and Yim share this knowledge silently as Yim passes on. I could feel the terror in Fei-Hung's heart as no amount of training can overcome a weapon as deadly as a bullet. A couple of minutes later, Fei-Hung takes this moment to heart and in a final slap in the face to Westernization, he flicks a bullet through the lead American's head. How badass do you have to be to flick a bullet? Pretty badass. Of course these themes can also be interpreted as Chinese propoganda against America, but where's the fun in that? Highly recommended to kung fu junkies. Now head over to J.P.'s I'm Outta Here Movie Thoughts and check out his companion review!

FridayFoster

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:28:03 +0000

FridayFoster

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:44:31 +0000

Guest Review: Friday Foster (1975)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 12:10:37 +0000

Allow me to introduce my buddy, Uncle Jasper. He's gonna chime in from time to time with a review, so give him a big welcome. First up, Friday Foster with Pam Grier!

Friday Foster (1975) Starring Pam Grier, Yaphet Kotto, Carl Weathers, Scatman Crothers, Eartha Kitt and Godfrey Cambridge Directed By Arthur Marks

I admit it, by the end of this movie I had no fucking clue what was going on... Some convoluted plot about a bunch of white dudes in afro wigs conspiring to take out all of the nation's black leaders. But my God, if the merit of a film lies in its ability to entertain, then this is a masterpiece in the same league as Dolemite and Fantasy Mission Force. Look, all you need to know is that Pam Grier has never looked better and Yaphet Kotto has never been more charming. I swear to God, every time he flashed that goofy-ass gap-toothed grin of his I kept thinking how much he resembled a black Ernest Borgnine. He and Pam make an awesome duo and I would have loved to see them share the screen more often. Scatman Crothers is somewhere in there as a pervy priest, and the black dude from The Love Boat is great as the neighborhood pimp ("You have to admit... my shit is HEAVY!!" he tells Pam). Somewhere in the middle you have Eartha Kitt as an over the top fashion designer and Carl Weathers backing a delivery truck into some effeminate dude in a phone booth, crushing him to death. Whew! What a cast they rounded up for this one! It plays like the Grand Hotel of 1970s black cinema. This film would be one of Pam's last for American International. It is nowhere near as raw as Coffy and lacks the urgency of Foxy Brown, but it would be silly to even compare them. The point of this movie isn't to provoke outrage, it's a party movie that just wants us all to look good and have fun. I'm not saying that Friday Foster is the superior film, but Pam does have a little more breathing room here and it's nice to see her in the arms of a suave millionaire for a change instead of being hog-tied and raped by some drunken hillbilly. This movie has enough car chases, rooftop fights, machine guns and titties to overcome any shortcoming it may have in terms of plot. In fact, this film stares plot straight in the face and laughs at it. Anybody willing enough to not take it too seriously will be greatly rewarded.

zombieland-poster

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:13:34 +0000

halfstar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:18:44 +0000

Zombieland (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:02:12 +0000

Zombieland (2009) Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin Directed by Ruben Fleischer Expectations: Lowest possible. Modern zombie movies generally rub me the wrong way, but I'm stupid and I keep watching them.

This is not a zombie movie. I repeat, this is not a zombie movie. If you love traditional zombie films such as the George Romero classics, you are better off just re-watching one of those. From what the film shows us, hardly any zombies inhabit Zombieland. Most of the "excitement" coming from the fights and betrayals that play out between the male and female survivors. Even the apocalypse cannot settle the battle of the sexes. All kidding aside, this is absolutely the antithesis of what a good zombie movie should be. It is a stupid attempt at making a zombie comedy, but instead of being clever (like Shaun of the Dead) this just disappoints repeatedly. Rarely is the survival of the characters an issue and therein lies the problem. Survival should be the main theme of any zombie tale because the zombie horde is ever-growing and as one of the last remaining humans you must constantly tap into the primal instincts of fight or flight. Your nerves fray as you know that sooner or later, you will become one of them. None of that comes into play in Zombieland. Sure, the main character has these survival rules he's constantly telling the viewer about, but the rules are nothing more than fluff to draw your attention away from the almost complete lack of honest zombie danger. That being said, in the moments where characters are threatened, the logic employed by these characters is so fatally flawed that I wondered if they were actually trying to get killed. Horror film logic is always a few notches below standard, but in Zombieland they really take it to the next level. I expect young girls to fall while being chased, I expect people to drop their keys, but consider this scenario that plays out near the end of Zombieland. Two characters drive a Hummer through an amusement park. A crowd of zombies chase the car and some jump on the car. The characters inexplicably and purposefully drive the car straight into the ocean, jumping out at the last second. So now the zombie crowd that they could have easily outdistanced in the car, gets increasingly closer. The two characters run directly to the drop tower amusement ride, strap themselves in and ride the ride. Huh? Yep, just what I would have done. The characters are then surprised when the crowd of zombies catches up and waits at the foot of the ride for their descent. Really? Remind me to shoot these filmmakers first when the zombie apocalypse hits. For a movie billed as being all about killing zombies, there is a surprising lack of zombie hunting, most of which is in the trailers. Zombies are really only present on-screen in a major way during the beginning and the end of the film. Honestly though, I can see a lot of people really liking this movie as it seems right in line with a lot of tired mainstream offerings. Teen boys will eat this fetid corpse up. They can have it.

lovely_bones_poster3

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:01:09 +0000

The Lovely Bones (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:35:25 +0000

The Lovely Bones (2009) Starring Saoirse Ronan, Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Stanley Tucci, Susan Sarandon Directed by Peter Jackson Expectations: Moderate. I heard bad things, but I love Peter Jackson so there's no way I'm not watching this.

This is a tough movie for me to review. Emotionally, I loved it. It hit me hard and continues to resonate in the days following. Technically, I have some issues with it. Ultimately, for me, the emotional weight of the movie is far greater than any technical problems I had, and I am judging it a bit harsher anyway because of my Peter Jackson fanboy status. I've seen every one of his films and I enjoy them all. Yes, I even like Meet the Feebles. Set in 1973, the film tells the story of Susie Salmon, a fourteen-year-old girl who blissfully walks home one day with the prospect of her first kiss consuming her mind. Instead, her neighbor rapes and murders her. Her spirit leaves her body and she continues to look down on her family from the afterlife. With The Lovely Bones, Jackson returns to a smaller type of movie similar to his 1994 film, "Heavenly Creatures." My problem with some of Jackson's choices in filming this movie is that instead of being in "small movie mode," he still seems like he's in "big effects movie mode" having just come from Lord of the Rings and King Kong. There's definitely a need for this kind of duality given the nature of the material here, but I think there are times when he misses the mark a bit. I found some of the digital afterlife sequences overstimulating, with way too much going on at once on-screen. I simply could not take in and process everything at times. As for things that worked, there are lots of HD video camera insert shots, hyper close-ups of fingers or objects. These were skillfully done to heighten the mood and increase tension and I enjoyed them a lot. There's also a couple of model dollhouse shots that are real fun if you dig that sort of thing. Overall, the film worked for me and the problems I had were minor nitpicks. Acting all around was very good. Rachel Weisz is easily the weakest link, but she's not in it much. Mark Wahlberg's performance surprised me. After Boogie Nights, I haven't been able to watch him in any role without thinking of his character from that film, Dirk Diggler. He has a similar delivery to his lines in most movies (like The Departed) and it basically ruins those scenes for me. In the Lovely Bones, he actually made me forget about Boogie Nights, and for me that is huge. Stanley Tucci and Saoirse Ronan don't disappoint either. Their scene together early in the film is one of the best, with Tucci oozing that slimy, pedophile vibe to counterbalance Ronan's naïve, innocent girl. I hope that this film finds its audience on DVD, because it really is a lot better than the critics make it sound. Without a doubt, it is a more satisfying film than some of last year's Best Picture nominees. Thematically, this is the type of movie that is better suited to home viewing, so I guess it worked in the film's favor to have flopped at the box office. Overall, a very well done, emotionally moving film. I loved it.

rec

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:18:28 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: [REC] (2007)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:26:29 +0000

[REC] (2007) Starring Manuela Velasco, Javier Botet, Manuel Bronchud, Martha Carbonell, Claudia Font, Vicente Gil Directed by Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza

On all accounts I should not have liked this movie. I am not a fan of the whole shaky camcorder pseudo-documentary horror genre. I am an old-school Romero zombie fan who still can’t justify a world where fast “infected zombies” have a place. I guess that makes REC all the more amazing. I was a doubter, but Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza proved me wrong and demonstrated that if done right, shaky-cam filmmaking not only has a place, but can really up the ante in terms of genuine horror. Something has to be said of the pacing and the way REC uses it to great effect. The movie starts off slow, and borderline mundane. A pretty, young news reporter, Angela and her cameraman Pablo are filming a “Cops” type TV series with a group of fire fighters. Realizing that her assignment is less exciting than it appears, she desperately tries to drum up some kind of interest and goes into great detail reporting on exciting aspects of the fire fighter’s lives such as empty briefing rooms, what they eat for dinner, and how big their suits are. Even when the fire fighters get what seems like a routine call and shit starts to go south, the film gets very interesting, yet the pacing still leaves plenty of time to react and wrap your head around the situation. About two-thirds of the way in, REC suddenly spikes and everything just starts going batshit crazy. Just when you thought you were safe and in total control of your faculties you are yanked out of your comfort zone and thrown into a series of events that are happening with such rapid-fire intensity that you find yourself scrambling into confusion just like the characters on-screen. It’s at this point I realized that, as cliché as it sounds, REC really is an experience. None of this faux-horseshit that James Cameron was peddling with Avatar, whose experience consisted of slapping on a pair of 3D glasses and enjoying a fun, loud, but stagnant visual feast… I’m talking about an experience in the sense that you are an active participant in the film. Your options are snuffed out one by one. Heroes who are supposed to save the day get bitten in the blink of an eye. What seems like an opportunity for escape suddenly becomes a deathtrap. At the very end, almost as if for pronounced effect, the directors remind us of the first cardinal rule of horror – that nothing is more frightening than the dark. Wow! REC is the first time in years that a zombie film is genuinely scary. I did a have a few issues towards the end with some unnecessary exposition on the cause of the outbreak, which I always prefer to be vague. But fuck it, that‘s just personal taste. What REC does, it does extremely well. For two dudes in Spain to outdo what Romero himself did in Diary of the Dead is quite an accomplishment.

efd00714

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:10:23 +0000

Mini Review: Turtles Can Fly (2004)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:26:43 +0000

Turtles Can Fly [Lakposhtha parvaz mikonand] (2004) Starring Soran Ebrahim, Avaz Latif, Hiresh Feysal Rahman Directed by Bahman Ghobadi

This is a good film, more for its power to stay with you, instead of its level of entertainment. It's the eve of America's invasion of Iraq and Kurdish refugees struggle with their television antennas to hear some small bits of news. Three wandering children; a girl, a possibly clairvoyant teenage boy with no arms and a blind toddler come to the camp in search of refuge. The film really isn't about the plot though. Director Bahman Ghobadi seeks to paint a picture of what these villagers feel and endure on the brink of war. It moves at a slow pace, but this is a haunting film, filled with amazing, wide-angle cinematography of the Iraqi landscape. All of the children (who aren't trained actors) are outstanding and show a level of depth not generally present in child actors. The film ends on a perfect, understated note, skillfully illustrating disillusionment and the fragility of life. It is a tragedy and an emotionally heavy film. Recommended if you're in right mood.

4-Zatoichi-The-Fugitive

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 02 May 2010 16:47:33 +0000

Special Feature: Zatoichi - The Fugitive (1963)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 02 May 2010 17:17:27 +0000

J.P. and I are back with a double shot review of the fourth Zatoichi film, "The Fugitive." Make sure you head over to his site at: http://jpfmovies.wordpress.com/ when you’re done here to read his thoughts on the film.

The Fugitive [座頭市兇状旅] (1963) Starring Shintaro Katsu, Miwa Takada, Masayo Banri, Toru Abe, Junichiro Narita, Katsuhiko Kobayashi Directed by Tokuzo Tanaka Expectations: Moderate.

I love samurai films. I've heard great things about the Zatoichi series over the years, but I have yet to really dive head first into the world of the blind masseur. About five years ago, I saw the first film in the series and I was underwhelmed. Zatoichi had been built up to me as this amazing series of films, but I found the first film to be slow and just okay. I liked it enough to remain interested in the series, but I had shelved it in my mind for future times. Sometime between then and now, I saw the 2003 Takeshi Kitano remake. I used to really like his films, but again I was underwhelmed with his remake. I don't remember a lot about it, but I do remember hating the very obvious computer generated blood effects in the film. Get a bag of blood and splatter it around. C'mon. So going into The Fugitive I was hoping that it would reignite my interest in the series and show me what everyone was going on about. The first thing I noticed was that this film was in color. I had expected black & white like the first, so this was a welcome surprise. I love black & white cinematography more than most, don't get me wrong, but after seeing this film, color is the correct choice for Zatoichi. The one downfall of using color though, is that for the fights I come in expecting blood-letting and The Fugitive is very sparse in that department. The Fugitive opens with our hero coming upon a wrestling match. He challenges the champion and precedes to wipe the floor with him and any other combatants thrown at him. Unknown to Zatoichi, these men are all Yakuza and they feel very dishonored at being beaten by a blind man. Zatoichi stays at the town inn and the Yakuza plot to have him killed. The first half of the movie slowly builds the characters of the town where Zatoichi stays for the duration of the film. This can get a little confusing if you're not paying close attention to who is who and all that. It also seemed like some of the events were playing off of events in earlier films. I had thought that these sequels were all unrelated, but at least at some level, there are things carrying over into this film. This is not to say that the film is unintelligible to the new viewer, quite the opposite. As I said above, the first half of the film sticks mainly to character building so you have plenty of time to catch up. The second half of the film is much more fast paced and contains a fantastic final duel between Zatoichi and his rival for the film, Tanakura. The film and the Zatoichi character reminded me of the early issues of the Lone Wolf and Cub manga series. In those issues, Ogami Itto travels around doing good deeds unrelated to his personal story. He wanders into a town and finds a situation that needs resolution. He provides it and moves on. Zatoichi is in that same vein and does it well. In this way, Zatoichi is also similar to James Bond as a character. Never mind that they are related in the "longest running film series" department, the characters both travel around and solve the problems at hand. I've found that over time my appreciation for James Bond as a character has increased and allowed me to enjoy the lesser films in that series more than I had previously. While watching the Fugitive, I felt a similar feeling and I can see myself really getting hooked on these fun samurai films and revisiting them over the years. Fun is the key word here. The Fugitive is by no means a masterpiece of international cinema. Akira Kurosawa released Yojimbo, Sanjuro and High & Low around this same time period. This film does not compare at all, but it's not fair to expect it to. Just like how the James Bond movies are well-made B-pictures, Zatoichi has a similar feel. It is well made and for the most part well shot, but it feels light and escapist. It won't move mountains, but it is a great way to pass an hour and a half. Shintaro Katsu perfectly plays the blind swordsman Zatoichi, and I can understand why people say that he is the only one that can play him. Katsu inhabits the soul of the character and is Zatoichi. My favorite moment in the film comes at around the halfway point. Tanakura confronts Zatoichi in front of the Yakuza gang leaders. Tanakura slices Zatoichi's cup with a lightning-fast sword strike. Zatoichi one-ups him by throwing a gambling die into one of the Yakuza's cups and then performs a quicker-than-lightning slice. The cup of the Yakuza remains still for a moment before it breaks cleanly into two pieces. As it falls to the floor, you see that the die has also been sliced in two. You cannot argue with such displays of furious sword skill. Zatoichi is the man. Now head over to J.P.’s I’m Outta Here Movie Thoughts and check out his companion review! It'll be up later today.

monster

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 03 May 2010 11:59:48 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Santo and Blue Demon vs. The Monsters (1969)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 03 May 2010 12:13:01 +0000

Santo and Blue Demon vs. The Monsters [Santo y Blue Demon contra los Monstruos] (1969) Starring Santo, Blue Demon, Jorge Rado, Carlos Ancira, Hedy Blue, Rafael Munoz, Manuel Leal, Vicente Lara, Gerardo Zepeda, Fernando Rosales, David Alvizu, Elsa Maria Tako, Yolanda Ponce Directed By Gilberto Martinez Solares

From the moment you hear the slithering organ music and watch Santo, Blue Demon, and the rogues’ gallery of hilariously bad awesome looking monsters climb a hillside and momentarily pose for their starring credit, you feel like you might have a winner. Moments later, when an evil hunchbacked dwarf wearing a bowler comes sneaking out of a graveyard with his army of green, face-painted zombies, you know you are locked into some serious shit. Welcome to the wonderful world of lucha libre. A world where badass, big motherfuckers in masks and three-piece suits canvas the byways of Mexico in convertibles with sexy young Latinas by their side. A world where everybody and anything is a potential adversary, be it dwarves, aliens, Nazis, sea monsters, vampires, women, and even vampire women. In this particular outing Santo finds himself up against the diabolical Dr. Hadler, who hates Santo and Blue Demon for reasons the filmmakers didn’t deem too important to mention. The Doctor, along with his dwarf henchman Waldo, kidnap Blue Demon, who was caught investigating the suspicious looking castle, and in an obvious attempt to give the audience a chance to see Santo fight his friend, clone an evil version of him. With Evil Blue Demon now at his command, the doctor proceeds to recruit a who’s who of legendary monsters to fight alongside him… The Vampire, who is a dead-ringer for Tom Smothers, his specialty is pausing from high areas before leaping and screaming YEEEEE!! The Mummy is pretty much just an old unkempt guy in ace bandages. The Wolf Man (Referred to in the credits as El Hombre Lobo) is a pretty scary looking guy, not in the sense of “Oh my God it’s the Wolf Man” but more of “Oh my God this hairy vagrant is eyeing my 9 year-old daughter with carnal intent”. Frankenstein is hilarious, not only for having a head that is completely out of proportion to the rest of his body, but because he sports, and I shit you not, a la raza goatee straight out of the back pages of Low Rider magazine. The Cyclops is my personal favorite because he is pretty much an 8 foot tall tower of crumbling foam latex who’s only real shot at glory is the huge, glowing orange eye on top of his head. He growls menacingly at times, but ultimately he just looks like the eye of Sauron taking a shit. Finally there are The Vampire Women, who are basically a couple of curvy heinas in underwear that lure Santo into the woods for one of the film’s many ambush scenes. Santo and Blue Demon vs. The Monsters sports so many moments of pure insanity that virtually any frozen frame can be certified as a surrealistic masterpiece that would have Salvador Dali clawing the walls with madness. Every scene in the film basically ends when Santo gets ambushed by Evil Blue Demon, the monsters, or both. And frankly, I don’t give a shit. You can’t give the audience too much of a good thing and the filmmakers were smart enough to realize this. My personal favorite scene was when, after a particularly nasty ambush on Santo and his girlfriend, Santo’s manager informs him that a new wrestler who goes by the name of “The Vampire” is talking crazy shit and if he doesn’t meet the challenge it could damage his reputation. Santo, for the sake of this fantastic scene, falls for the obvious ruse and accepts the challenge. Soon after, he finds himself matched up against the vampire, now ditching his cape for a luchidor mask! The battle is even more fantastic than you can imagine in all of its overcranked glory, with both Santo and the vampire flying all over the ring just beating the hell out of each other with spinning leg locks, backbreakers, and body slams. As if the moment could not get any more insane, the vampire spots a woman wearing a crucifix, freaks out, changes into a bat and flies away! The crowd scrambles away in terror, and amidst the pandemonium Evil Blue Demon and the army of monsters crawl out of the woodwork and into the ring for an absolute orgy of violence that has to be seen to be truly appreciated. Things begin to look pretty dire and when Santo’s brother in law delivers the classic line “We may have no way out, Santo. Not even the rays of the electronic gun could hurt him.” You know something has to be done, and fast. Santo’s one-man siege of Dr. Hadler’s castle has The Man in the Silver Mask saving the real Blue Demon and the two laying waste to the mad doctor and his army of monsters. I don’t know about you, but it’s comforting to me knowing that somewhere out there people are committing weird shit like this to celluloid. The world is a better place where movies like these, with virtually no budget, and no technical expertise offer an alternative to the next Hollywood blockbuster for a small, but rabid group of degenerate movie buffs. Santo, the Man in the Silver Mask passed away in 1984, but I’d like to think Santo the Legend is still out there, roaming among the wild agave, looking down from the dusty hillsides of Mexico.

vertigo

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:50:43 +0000

Movie Q & A Thing

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:57:50 +0000

Well, I generally don't like these sorts of things, but what the hell. Kevin over at The Pork Chop Express linked me in this, so I will do my best. 1. What was your first movie-going experience? The earliest movie I can remember seeing was 1985's Follow That Bird, the Big Bird movie. I loved it. I doubt it holds up. 2. How many DVDs do you own? Eh, over 100 but I've been trying to slim it down lately. I used to want an archive of all these movies I love, but I realize now that a core set of watchable favorites is more ideal. 3. What is your guilty pleasure movie? I don't really feel guilty about the stuff I like. Not that I don't like some trash, just that I have aged into not caring so much what others think about my tastes. That being said, I like Weekend at Bernie's way too much. So awful, but so so good. 4. You’ve compiled a list of your top 100 movies. Which films didn’t make the cut? Weekend at Bernie's. No really, I don't make it a habit of making lists, especially one of one-hundred films. I'd have to have a huge, months long Battle Royale tournament to decide something like that. Just off the top of my head I'll say Lawrence of Arabia. When I see it on the big screen at some point, I'll probably change my mind though. I feel like I haven't really seen it until then. 5. Which movie(s) do you compulsively watch over and over again? The Big Lebowski, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future. I could probably watch Inglourious Basterds a lot and not get tired of it as well. 6. Classic(s) you’re ashamed to admit you haven’t seen yet? Um, this is a hard one as I've seen most of the big ones. I've never seen Giant. I like James Dean and it looks good, but something about it just makes me not care. One of these days. 7. What movie posters are hanging in your room? At the moment none. Rolled up in my storage are: Vertigo A Clockwork Orange Enter the Dragon Dawn of the Dead (signed by Tom Savini and Ken Foree) L.A. Confidential and probably a couple I'm forgetting. I'll tag JP @ J.P.'s I'm Outta Here Movie Thoughts in this because I know he hasn't done it yet.

Pickuponsouthstreet

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 04 May 2010 12:49:05 +0000

Pickup on South Street (1953)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 04 May 2010 13:07:47 +0000

Pickup on South Street (1953) Starring Richard Widmark, Jean Peters, Thelma Ritter, Richard Kiley Directed by Samuel Fuller Expectations: High. Sam Fuller. He's good.

Sam Fuller knew how to shoot a movie. He's under the radar for a lot of people, which is a shame because his camerawork is undeniably fantastic. In one of the DVD extras Fuller states, "The power of the camera...is exactly like bold-face type. You cannot compete with it." Sam Fuller is the perfect example of a director that focuses on showing and not telling. The film opens with Jean Peters on a subway. Quick cuts establish that she is being watched by two men. There is no dialogue. A third man enters the scenario. He is a pickpocket (Richard Widmark). He lifts the wallet from Jean Peters' purse and exits the subway car. The two men push their way to the door, only to have it close in their faces. One of the men says, "What happened?" "I'm not sure yet," his partner replies. The viewer isn't quite sure either. A fantastic opening with very quick editing (to good effect) for the early 1950s. You can watch it on Youtube if you want to get a sense of it for yourself by clicking here. The greater part of the film involves a couple of different parties all trying to acquire the contents of the wallet stolen from Jean Peters in the opening scene. Unknown to Widmark, it contained something more than just a few paper bills. The plot reminded me of a Hitchcock film in some ways, as it involves a regular guy getting wrapped up in some shady, international intrigue. This film doesn't globe-trot like Hitchcock usually does though, it stays firmly rooted in New York City. That choice is where the key difference between Fuller and Hitchcock is. The overall story of Pickup on South Street may resemble a Hitchcock-style film, but Fuller stays connected to the streets that his story lives on, resulting in a dirty, violent version of a Hitchcock thriller. The film is a film noir/thriller hybrid and Fuller never lets it get boring. The camera movements are quick and precise, creating excitement and danger. When confronted with a scene of violence, Fuller keeps the camera firmly focused on the action, hitting you hard in the gut as you watch Jean Peters violently thrown into bookshelves or Richard Kiley's face being dragged down a half-flight of subway stairs. The subway fight in particular also has many wide shots of the two combatants. These shots allow the viewer to see the impact and the effect of the impact, all in the same shot. There is something about seeing a fight from that kind of distance that lends more credibility to it. It develops a documentary style in those shots and I felt like I was in the subway tunnel, watching two real men fight. The subway scene is also amazing in that it was all a set built for the film because the production could not afford to shut down a working subway for the length of time needed. The set is truly amazing in this regard, you would never know that it is a fake. Widmark is great as the pickpocket. Jean Peters is also very good, but maybe a bit too melodramatic for my taste. Thelma Ritter, who was nominated for an Oscar for this role, plays the police informant to a tee and is able to get real emotion from a viewer fifty-seven years later. If you haven't seen anything from Samuel Fuller you are truly missing out. This is one of the best that I've seen from him. Excellent.

Idiocracy_PosterB

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 05 May 2010 12:58:49 +0000

Idiocracy (2006)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 05 May 2010 13:09:47 +0000

Idiocracy (2006) Starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard, Terry Crews Directed by Mike Judge Expectations: Moderate. I knew close to nothing going in except it was about stupid Americans and Mike Judge made it. What else do you need to know?

So there's this movie about ridiculous, satirical, future extremes of American consumerism? And I haven't seen it yet? Somehow this slipped under my radar but that has now been rectified. This kind of thing could go so wrong though. It could end up being so ridiculous that it misses the point. It could be great for the first twenty minutes and then devolve into fart jokes. Thankfully, it mostly steers clear of convention and I found myself thoroughly entertained. An Army librarian (Luke Wilson) is chosen to test a new human freezing procedure. Along for the ride is a prostitute played by Maya Rudolph from SNL. Anyway, the cryo tubes get lost and the test subjects aren't awakened at the prescribed time. Instead they wake up in the year 2505, where, after 500 years of the stupid people having babies, the American public has degenerated into infantile, entertainment-consuming idiots. Shows such as "Ow, my balls!" on the Violence Network top the charts. People can't even speak correct English anymore. The thing with Idiocracy is that through all the idiocy, it is incredibly smart. Every small detail can be traced to a common, everyday occurrence in our times. The use of real corporations in the film is a huge success that wouldn't have the same resonance if the filmmakers were forced to come up with sound-alike names that make you say, "Oh, that's supposed to be McDonald's." Not in Idiocracy. Here we are treated to miles-long Costco's, people named Frito and Beef Supreme, and my favorite, the new Carl's Jr slogan of "Fuck you! I'm eating!" The film is so ridiculously over-the-top but it works for this film very well. I do have to mention that there is some horribly bad computer generated landscapes in the film, but it is a minor flaw in an otherwise well-done film. In fact, I was so entertained with the biting, social commentary that I didn't even notice much about the filmmaking. I felt like I was twelve again, enjoying a film simply for its entertainment value. If you haven't seen this film, I wholeheartedly recommend it if you are at all frustrated with the hypocrisy of the current American society. Also, if you enjoy any of Mike Judge's other stuff like Office Space or King of the Hill you need to add this to your list. It's stupid, but it's funny as hell.

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 06 May 2010 11:48:35 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 06 May 2010 11:49:50 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Heroes Two (1973)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 06 May 2010 12:04:23 +0000

Heroes Two [方世玉與洪熙官] (1973) Starring Alexander Fu Sheng, Chen Kuan-Tai, Fong Sam, Bruce Tong Yim-Chaan, Wong Ching, Wu Chi-Chin, Zhu Mu Directed By Chang Cheh

Before I get started I’d like to mention that this film is prefaced with a short feature from the Shaw Studios titled “Three Styles of the Hung School’s Kung Fu.” It features the stars of Heroes Two performing actual solo demonstrations of the Hung style kung fu, which is featured throughout the film. Spoken narration details the characteristics of the style and how it came into being. It makes for a classy introduction, and really piqued my interest as I had no clue the Shaw Studios made shorts as well as features. With the amazing restorations from the folks at Celestial Pictures, I hope these become a more common bonus on these DVDs. Heroes Two falls into the classic “Manchu vs. Chinese rebels” template that the Shaw Studios loved to crank out in their heyday. Second only to the “rival kung fu school poisons the master who is then unable to do kung fu for three months, so the top student must take revenge” film. What makes this movie stand out is that it tells the quasi-fictional tale of not one, but two Chinese folk heroes. I instantly think back to those Marvel team-up comics from the late 70s. When you saw both Spider-Man AND The Thing laying the beat-down, you knew that shit was gonna be gold. Heroes Two carries forth that basic concept and features the killer combo of Hung Si-Kwan (Chen Kwan-Tai) and Fong Sai-Yuk (played here by the legendary Alexander Fu Sheng). Fu Sheng was a badass on so many levels that he really deserves a blog post of his own. He oozes charisma, and casting him as Fong Sai-Yuk, who was pretty much the Rudy Ray Moore of 19^th century China, was a no-brainer. He puts the Hung’s crane style on full display here and it is both fluid and effortless. Chen Kwan-Tai on the other hand is simply brutal. His take on the Hung style is a borderline savage dance of in-fighting featuring all kinds of intricate arm locks, wrist grabs, and neck punches. The way this guy completely has his way with his opponents and mows through them with machine-like precision is simply amazing. I remember first seeing him as the old guy who teaches Gordon Liu kung fu in Challenge of the Masters. I used to rent that tape from Blockbuster and watch it religiously. What kept me coming back wasn’t Gordon Liu. It was that stoic, no-nonsense master who was beating the shit out of him with the bamboo every three minutes. I always considered him one of the lesser-sung heroes of the Shaw Studios who never really got his due, both as an actor and as a martial artist. My only beef with his role in Heroes Two is that he spends half of the fucking movie chained to a wall. He completely decimates every other actor on-screen in terms of raw skill for the first 20 minutes or so, leaving you hungry for more… Then you are forced to watch him plastered up there, completely helpless for the next hour, as unworthy opponents point up and talk smack. Chang Cheh, who was notorious for violence and blood, earning him the infamous handle of “The Tomato Juice Director”, actually shows a little restraint here. But towards the end, we get a decent dose of his wacky shit when the heroes are pitted against four Lamas. Every time a critical hit connects, the screen is bathed in a deep red tint. Sometimes he simply forgoes the tint altogether, literally painting the entire screen red with blood. Yes sir, Mr. Chang certainly had no qualms about letting you know damn well when some poor bastard took a death-blow. Handheld camera-work also makes a few appearances here, but as in virtually all of Chang Cheh’s films, it never feels overbearing or out of place. Ultimately though, it’s the performances of the lead “heroes” of Heroes Two that saves it from simply being standard Shaw Bros. fare. If you’re a fan of either, I’d definitely recommend you give this one a go.

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:06:21 +0000

twostar

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:06:44 +0000

An Education (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:20:16 +0000

An Education (2009) Starring Carey Mulligan, Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina, Rosamund Pike Directed by Lone Scherfig Expectations: Super low, but Nick Hornby wrote the script so I do expect it will be well written.

There's nothing wrong with this movie, but there isn't really anything special about it either. Sure, Carey Mulligan is a great new talent and really shows off her ability in her role, but there's not much else to get excited about here. What's the point of it all? The film is competently made and the dialogue is well written. The acting is very good all around. I'm a big Alfred Molina fan and I wasn't aware that he was in this, so that was a welcome surprise. Despite the fact that they got these key things right, they forgot to have an interesting story. The whole thing for me just exudes this air of being wonderfully okay. A dashing young man seduces a school girl. It's been done before and I expected this movie to add something new. Nick Hornby wrote the script. He's the guy who wrote the novels that became "High Fidelity" and "About a Boy." I remember enjoying "About a Boy" despite expecting to hate it, so I was hoping for something of the same thing with "An Education." Unfortunately, right from the moment when I saw that Peter Saarsgard was seducing Carey Mulligan, I had the rest of the story in my head if they chose to follow convention into the pit of cliché. They did just that. How disappointing. One other thing that especially bothered me about the film was the music. Can we please stop having touching, slow piano music over scenes where I'm supposed to have an emotional response? I might actually have one if not for the sappy, clichéd film score. Music can be used to great effect in film, even touching piano music, but some of the music in "An Education" is ridiculously unnecessary and actually takes away from the potential power of the film. It's not a horrible film overall, it's definitely watchable but the real question is who cares? The only real reason to see this is for Carey Mulligan and Peter Sarsgaard's well-done performances. Most everything else is just boring and pointless.

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 10 May 2010 12:04:14 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: My Young Auntie (1981)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 10 May 2010 12:37:12 +0000

My Young Auntie [長輩] (1981) Starring Liu Chia-Liang, Kara Hui, Wang Lung-Wei, Hsiao Ho, Gordon Liu Chia-Hui Directed By Liu Chia-Liang

Criticizing a film like My Young Auntie is, I’m afraid, beyond my ability. The film is so unabashedly all over the place that any attempt to lasso it all together and rationalize it is something akin to stacking grains of sand on top of each other in an attempt to reach the moon. It is one of those train wrecks so beyond the scope of rational thought, that the only way to experience it is by surrendering yourself to the notion that for the next two hours this film will have its way with you and you will take it like the fresh young piece of meat you are. With all that said, if you have ever thought that square dancing by grown men in pink wigs and guys dressed up like Robin Hood was criminally underrepresented in Shaw Bros. kung fu films, then this may be the movie for you. Kara Hui plays Cheng Tai-Nun, a young girl of about twenty who marries a wealthy old man in an attempt to keep his estate from falling into the greedy hands of his third brother. She is instructed to hand the deed over to the man’s younger nephew, who is coincidentally about 30 years her senior. She also has to deal with his completely batshit son, Charlie, who has been studying in Hong Kong and is now westernized beyond any hope of redemption. Charlie and his buddies speak an unholy union of profane Chinese and sloppy English, that is actually extremely amusing. (This may be the only time you will hear the English word “fuck” uttered in a subtitled Shaw Bros. film.) Anyway Charlie harasses the shit out of his new, young great-auntie (?) and belittles her with his newfound knowledge of things like basketball, Shakespeare, folk music, boxing, and Christianity. (I’m not making this up.) All of this comes to a head when Charlie invites his auntie to a party that he hopes will embody all of the finer sensibilities of western civilization. Now if you’ve been reading my reviews with any regularity, you know I am no stranger to weird shit in the movies. I have championed the seedy underbelly of modern cinema and heaped nothing but praise on everything from Mexican wrestling to blaxploitation. With that said, the bizarre shit that goes down at Charlie’s party was a little too much, even for me. What his attempt to throw a “western” themed party boils down to are a bunch of guys in powdered wigs, sunglasses, and French Renaissance outfits doing musical numbers, fencing with each other, and dancing to classical music. Kara Hui shows up dressed in a blonde wig and a princess outfit and Charlie himself comes prancing in as Robin Hood. All hell breaks loose when six guys get in a heated argument about which of them are the real three musketeers. Cue the Benny Hill music and guys sliding backwards down staircases and you get the general idea just how ugly this thing gets. The film’s fatal flaw is that after dropping a bombshell so brazenly depraved and insane as the party scene, it switches gears into somewhat coherent storytelling again and expects us to follow suit for the third act. I’m sorry, but if you are going to take your viewers past this point of no return, then you have got to realize that you must brave those dark waters for the rest of your film. Nobody wants to take you seriously after witnessing your cracked-out Freemason's ball. Even something as beautiful and exciting as Liu Chia-Liang’s martial arts choreography won’t pull you out of this deep abyss. You and your movie are just plain fucked from here on out. If it were to stand alone, the third act is actually quite entertaining with everything from spring-loaded booby traps, nearly-invincible guys who bend knives with their abs, and loads of fantastic choreography. But if you’re anything like me, you’ll still be reeling from that crazy party scene to really appreciate any of it. While I don’t think My Young Auntie is a good film, I recommend checking it out if only for the pure spectacle of it all. It really is a difficult one to file away, and that alone might make it worth your time.

precious_film_poster2

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 11 May 2010 11:47:09 +0000

Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 11 May 2010 12:05:49 +0000

Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire (2009) Starring Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, Sherri Shepherd Directed by Lee Daniels Expectations: Moderate.

Precious tells the story of a sixteen-year-old girl, pregnant with her second child, and her day-to-day struggles to overcome her abusive mother and her second grade reading and writing levels. The film is an incredibly emotional tale and it is hard to watch at times. Gabourey Sidibe is fantastic as Precious. She really hits the early scenes when Precious is illiterate and then skillfully handles the character's transformation into a strong woman, focused on her education and her children. For me, this is the stand-out début performance of 2009 and I hope that she is able to get some more roles that can really showcase her talent and range. Mo'Nique is also fantastic as Precious' mother. Her Oscar was very well deserved. From a filmmaking standpoint the film is a bit uneven. There are moments when I felt that director Lee Daniels knew exactly what he wanted to do and he executed it well. For almost every time I thought that though, there would be another time when I felt that he was struggling to figure out exactly how to handle something. I mostly had problems with some of the scene transitions. There were a number of fade-to-black moments after scenes that didn't make sense and only served to drain the momentum of the film. There's also a lot of handheld work and on-the-fly snap zooming that really serves no purpose. Handhold it if you want, but we don't need to see you zoom in, then decide that you need to zoom in more, then to finally zoom back to where we started, all within the space of three seconds. There are a number of fantasy scenes in the film that I had no idea were in it. I liked them a lot and I felt that Daniel's handled these transitions very well. I don't know about being Oscar worthy for his work here, but there is definitely a ton of potential for him to make a name for himself. As much as some of these little things bothered me, overall I thought the film was a huge success. He was able to get fantastic performances from everyone involved, so he's definitely doing something right. His use of music in the film is also very well done. The emotional scenes didn't have touching piano music, much to my satisfaction. Check out my review of "An Education" for some back story on my hatred of overused, touching piano music. Precious' story is emotionally draining and not a movie you would want to be re-watching over and over. The film is pretty original though, even with the classroom scenes echoing any other inner-city classroom scene you ever saw. Overall, I think it works and it's a film that deserved the attention it was given.

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 13 May 2010 17:23:03 +0000

Born to Fight (2004)

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 13 May 2010 17:44:03 +0000

Born to Fight [เกิดมาลุย, Kerd Ma Lui] (2004) Starring Dan Chupong, Nappon Gomarachun, Santisuk Promsiri, Piyapong Piew-on, Somluck Kamsing, Kessarin Ektawatkul Directed by Panna Rittikrai Expectations: High. I saw the trailer and expected this to be fantastic.

Wow! If you like high-octane action to the X-TREME! then I've got a movie for you. Born to Fight is directed by Panna Rittikrai who was Tony Jaa's mentor and is responsible for the martial arts and action choreography for Ong Bak and The Protector among others. He leads the Muay Thai Stunt team and if you haven't seen them in action, you are seriously missing out on the most exciting, ridiculous and horribly painful stunts ever to grace the screen. The level of "Oh shit!" is off the chart, and I am instantly brought back to the feeling of when I started watching Hong Kong movies. Dan Chupong, member of Muay Thai Stunt, gets his first starring role and does very well. The film opens with Chupong and his buddy/mentor cop raiding the dastardly General Yang's hideout. It quickly escalates into an extended action sequence involving guns, martial arts and some amazing stunt falls from moving semi-trucks. On one of the falls in particular, if the stuntman had landed maybe one or two inches differently his head would have been fatally crushed like a grape. It's crazy stunts like this that let you know how committed the Muay Thai Stunt team is and just how far they'll go to film a quality looking stunt. So for reasons I won't go into, Chupong finds himself going on a humanitarian mission to a small village with the Thai National Gymnastics squad. The village soon finds itself under siege from a team of guerrilla mercenaries and the athletes become a seven samurai of sorts. The siege part of the film can get a bit tedious and slow but about halfway through the movie, the ass-kicking action begins and virtually never lets up for the rest of the film. I'm not exaggerating here, it's probably forty minutes of sustained action and it's incredibly entertaining. All the action scenes are cut to the pumping rhythms of techno music, so if you're not a fan consider yourself warned. The music works for this movie, but I couldn't help but think of this VHS tape a friend made back in the day called, "Techno Jackie," splicing the best Jackie Chan fight scenes with the hippest house beats. The focus here is on action and stunts, not martial arts though. If you go in expecting Chupong to be the next Tony Jaa or Jet Li you will be disappointed. There are some fights interspersed throughout, but given that the major action consists of an entire village taking on a band of mercenaries, it's a lot less focused on any one person than a traditional martial arts action film. I don't think I've ever seen a film quite this and I thoroughly enjoyed it. One scene in particular involving a rocket launcher had me hitting the rewind button over and over again. Even without a direct focus on martial arts, there are still tons of slow-motion, bone-crushing kicks to the head and that always bring a smile to a fight fan's face. Born to Fight is a fantastic addition to the Thai action film roster that continues to impress. Watch it, enjoy it, and spread the word. Born to Fight is very reminiscent of Hong Kong films prior to the introduction of the CG effects that pretty much destroyed the charm of the Hong Kong film industry. It excites me to no end, knowing that honest, martial arts filmmaking is alive and well. [Note: I've avoided giving ratings to genre films because I don't feel that I can rate them on the same scale and still be fair. I'm gonna try something new where if a movie is superb in its action, but lacking in other areas it will receive 3 stars. Anything higher than that will indicate that the story and acting are better than your standard action fare. Suggestions/Questions: comment below.]

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 14 May 2010 14:08:40 +0000

The Blind Side (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 14 May 2010 14:28:54 +0000

The Blind Side (2009) Starring Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron, Tim McGraw, Jae Head, Kathy Bates Directed by John Lee Hancock Expectations: Super low. I'm only watching this because the Academy in all their stupidity granted this one of the abundant ten best picture nominations and I am a glutton for punishment.

Okay, here's the deal. If I were to rate this movie purely on its technical merits, it would be low. One star perhaps. I won't do that though as the basis for this movie, the true story, is good enough to add a star to this otherwise boring and pedestrian film. This is post Oscars and everyone knows that Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for this role. If you had any shred of faith left in the Academy, if No Country for Old Men's sweep a couple of years back had you re-thinking your hatred, then awarding Bullock the Oscar here should quickly stomp out that last dying ember. She does well enough in the role, but she's exactly the same as she's been in countless other movies, albeit with a southern accent this time around. To me, that doesn't spell Oscar worthy. I'd like to see Sandra Bullock play a truly different role and surprise me sometime. I'm not holding my breath though. The only award I would have given this film is the award for Worst Editing in a Motion Picture Scene, going without question to the scene in which Michael Oher fights a gang member and busts up his apartment. In the space of three seconds there's about fifteen cuts that serve no purpose whatsoever except to confuse the viewer. Did he just hit that guy? Or did the guy just hit him? Who knows? It defies all good reason and neither shows or tells us anything meaningful. For those that don't know, The Blind Side tells the story of Michael Oher, a teen in foster care who rose to great heights thanks to the efforts and kind hearts of the Tuohy family. It's all fairly predictable, but as it's a true story that's forgivable. For me though, as inspirational and uplifting as this story may be, there's no good reason to watch this. The image composition is bored and ugly, with most of the film boiling down to a bunch of talking heads with out-of-focus backgrounds. The music by Carter Burwell, who has done some great work on the Coen Brothers films, is also awful. It was at times out-of-place and jokey and at others...wait for it...touching, piano music. Yeah, this movie really isn't for me. I also had a problem with the fact that Michael Oher never seemed to care about playing football at all. It was assumed that he wanted to play because he was big and he'd be good at it. Who knows if that's how he is in real life, but the theatrical Michael Oher didn't seem to care much about the sport. I can understand if you think this story is uplifting. How can you not? I happen to like some style with my substance though, and this has none.

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Silver Emulsion — Sat, 15 May 2010 13:37:46 +0000

Mini Review: Seasons (1987)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 15 May 2010 13:41:50 +0000

Seasons (1987) Narrated by William Shatner Directed by Ben Shedd

An IMAX movie on the small screen is always going to be a downgrade, but sometimes the film is good enough to transcend the transition and remain entertaining. Seasons is one such film. It features beautiful nature sequences intermixed with human activities during each season. There's also some killer vector graphics of the Sun and the Earth. You can't go wrong with vector graphics in my opinion and these are top-notch. It also features a few sequences of time-lapse photography. William Shatner's narration is perfect and matches the images well. The script might be a little over-the-top but who better to handle overly serious dialogue than Shatner? Also, the film only runs thirty minutes so it makes for a quick viewing. All of these elements add up to a film that plays out similar to a narrated version of Koyaanisqatsi. Can't say that I learned anything, but I was definitely entertained. Check it out if you like both Shatner and the seasons, as I've heard a lot of negative feedback from people who don't like Shatner.

Blacula

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:17:51 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:18:41 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:19:49 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Blacula (1972)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:31:52 +0000

Blacula (1972) Starring William Marshall, Vonetta McGee, Denise Nicholas, Gordon Pinsent, Charles Macaulay, Thalmus Rasulala Directed By William Crain

Transylvania, 1780 – Castle Dracula It is a dark and stormy night and Count Dracula is entertaining African Prince Mamuwalde and his wife. (Because, as we all know, Dracula was well known for his important contributions to politics in 18^th century Europe.) The lovely couple are enjoying small talk and champagne with Dracula when the Prince gets down to business and discusses the concerns of his people. All is going fine until Dracula scoffs at the prince’s attempt to convince him to do something about the slave trade. Tensions flare and the Count even has the audacity to propose a deal for Mamuwalde’s beautiful Zulu wife! Dracula’s honkies of the night restrain the Prince, as the lord of darkness bares his fangs and sinks them deep into his neck, cursing him for all eternity and christening him… “Blacula”. Transylvania, Present Day – Castle Dracula Dracula’s castle has fallen on hard times. The Count has long been vanquished, and an interracial couple of flamboyantly gay interior decorators are sizing the property up in an attempt to strip it clean of its stylishly gothic furnishings and mark the prices up stateside. The real estate guy repeatedly warns them of Dracula’s curse, dark spirits, foreboding evils, and a lot of generally spooky talk that would turn most folks away. But these are gay guys in a blaxploitation film, so unfortunately you already know they are gonna ignore all common sense and be the first to get it. These films seemed to have a vendetta against homosexuals for reasons I could never really figure out. Yeah, it’s a little troubling… but look, if you’re watching a film titled “Blacula” chances are you aren’t going out of your way looking for political correctness anyway. The couple lisp their way through embarrassing, stereotypically gay dialogue before stumbling upon a hidden room with an old coffin inside. They decide to pack it up with all of the other goods and ship it all back with them to… Los Angeles, Present Day So in case you were initially wondering… yes, this is how a 200 year-old black vampire finds himself in 1972 Los Angeles. With all of Dracula’s furniture boxed up and shipped safely to its destination, the gay white guy (who I forgot to mention is portrayed by the same actor who played the gay white guy in Friday Foster) decides to finally crack open the coffin. Yep, Blacula is awakened from centuries of undead sleep and feasts upon his first two victims. Blacula, despite his unquenchable thirst for human blood, is actually a pretty nice guy and attends the funeral of the black guy he killed. Also attending the service are the man’s two sisters and his brother-in-law. Blacula takes special notice of the younger of the two sisters, Tina, because she is the spitting image of his Zulu wife from centuries ago. The brother-in-law, Dr. Thomas, is the film’s requisite bad motherfucker, down to the cleanly groomed sideburns and Richard Roundtree moustache. He introduces himself to the undertaker as a police investigator and takes a peculiar interest in the corpse, noticing the bite marks on its neck. He seems pretty hip to this vampire shit and begins an investigation immediately. Blacula meanwhile, is strutting around downtown Los Angeles in full vampire regalia and with enough facial hair to send Karl Marx into a state of apoplexy but nobody seems to take any notice. He goes on a nocturnal murder spree while stalking Tina and eventually placing her under his spell and wooing her. Hell, I was under his spell too. It really is a testament to William Marshall’s excellent performance, the man commands the screen and is anything but cheesy. Blacula and Dr. Thomas are perfect foils for each other and in one of the film’s best scenes, the two find themselves sharing a table at a nightclub, smooth talking the shit out of each other, neither revealing their full hand, in a suave game of cat and mouse. Despite the obvious trappings of novelty, Blacula works extremely well due to solid performances and an insistence on taking itself seriously. What could have easily been a camp film instead ends up surprisingly solid. The two leads are fantastic, but ultimately, this is Blacula’s show. The filmmakers were smart to never really paint him as a villain. The ending, which could have been a complete cop-out, is perfect and really brings Blacula’s tragedy full circle. This may be one of American International’s finest moments and is definitely a cornerstone in blaxploitation film.

the-cove

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 18 May 2010 12:29:56 +0000

The Cove (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 18 May 2010 13:06:43 +0000

The Cove (2009) Starring Ric O'Barry, Louie Psihoyos Directed by Louie Psihoyos Expectations: High. I've heard nothing but good stuff.

The Cove is an interesting documentary. It seeks to expose the fishing practices of the Japanese village of Taiji, specifically the capture and killing of dolphins that goes on there. The practices are legal due to a few loopholes, but are definitely not right. The fisherman capture hundreds of dolphins at a time. Trainers from amusement parks and "Swim with the Dolphins" places come and select the dolphins they want. The fisherman kill all the unselected dolphins and sell them for meat. The film follows Ric O'Barry, who became famous after capturing and training the dolphins used in the 1960s television show Flipper. He now crusades to stop any and all wrongdoings against the creatures, feeling somewhat responsible for their rise in popularity. Ric worked with the dolphins on a daily basis and realized that they are not only incredibly smart, but that they are also self-aware. Most of the film chronicles Ric and the team's struggles to film the goings on in the killing cove. It is highly guarded and dangerous to get to. The team has to go to extreme lengths to plant cameras and sound equipment to capture what constitutes the last quarter of the film. The footage is shocking and disturbing. The politicians interviewed in the film may claim that the dolphins are killed humanely and instantly, but when the killing footage is revealed, it is anything but. The film opens with some information about the general nature of the dolphin trade and the difference in price of dolphin for captivity and for meat. Who eats dolphin meat, you might ask. According to the film, lots of unaware Japanese people who are sold the meat labeled as a more expensive whale meat. This confused me a bit because they had said that commercial whaling was illegal, so this left me wondering how they could label meat as whale. In any case, there are medical concerns with eating dolphin meat that can lead to mercury poisoning, resulting in some serious birth defects, among other problems. Dolphins have become incredibly toxic due to all the mercury we pump into the environment, so their meat is astronomically above the "safe" amount of mercury. This mostly affects small children, pregnant women and the fetus inside her. The middle of the film drags a bit while they are assembling the team and the tools necessary to get the footage. This is unavoidable given the nature of the film though, as there just isn't enough actual information here to convey. The documentary is more about getting the footage than providing you with hard facts. At times this lack of focus lends itself to feeling like a reality television show instead of a feature documentary. I sincerely hope that they can put an end to the killing of these dolphins that happens all over the world, not just in Taiji. I feel that it's somewhat hypocritical for me to say that and then eat any kind of corporate meat. The factory farms that produce beef, pork and chicken are incredibly brutal and just as wrong as the practices of the fisherman in Taiji, so it is hard to continue on in the same manner after watching something like this. The Cove is beautifully filmed and very well put together. As I said before, the middle drags a bit, but not too much to detract from the overall message. An excellent documentary completely worthy of its Oscar for Best Documentary.

384px-Neverendingstoryposter

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 19 May 2010 13:22:40 +0000

The Neverending Story (1984)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 19 May 2010 13:32:52 +0000

The Neverending Story (1984) Starring Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Tami Stronach, Moses Gunn, Thomas Hill Directed by Wolfgang Petersen Expectations: High, this was one of my movies growing up.

Some movies should stay in your childhood. Today I found out that The Neverending Story is firmly in that category. I still enjoyed it, it just didn't have the same power that it used to. The main character, a book-loving boy who reads the Neverending Story, reminds me of myself at that age so it's obvious why I connected to it and enjoyed it back then. Unfortunately, viewing the film as an adult, there just wasn't enough to keep me interested. Bastian runs away from some school bullies and finds refuge in an old, dusty bookstore. He acquires a copy of The Neverending Story from the man there and proceeds to his school's attic to read the book. Reading is much more fun than a math test! He finds himself absorbed in the world of Fantasia and the quest of Atreyu to save the dying princess. For the most part, the film still holds up visually. The rock biter still looks fantastic and was still able to get an emotional response from me during his dialogue about not being able to save his friends. I was always touched by that moment and it's still very powerful. The sphinx gate scene remains very exciting as well. On the other hand, I found that there was a real lack of substance in most other scenes. There's two long scenes of riding the luck dragon Falcor, with pseudo-electronic music playing. As a kid, I loved it. The thrill of dragon riding! This was what movies were all about. As an adult, I was bored and it just didn't carry the same weight. Maybe if I saw it in the theater I'd change my mind, but I remember specifically feeling the same indifference to a similar scene in one of Harry Potter movies, so probably not. One thing I picked up that I don't ever remember noticing is that the Nothing, the existential force of oblivion that rips apart Fantasia, is actually a representation of the modern human's lack of hope, dreams and imagination. The bookstore owner mentions to Bastian that he should run along and play some video games because the rectangular objects in his store do not beep and boop. One could extrapolate this into the filmmakers suggesting that video games are killing children's imaginations because someone else is imagining things for them and they aren't actively using their minds like you do when reading. To a degree this is true, but there were probably spoken word purists who scoffed at the rise of the written word. I agree that video games do kill imagination to a degree, but someone is creating these games so imagination is alive at some level still. I suppose it could all go the route foretold in the film Idiocracy, where each generation gets less and less imaginative and creative and eventually we are all brought down to primal, entertainment consuming idiots. Time will tell. After watching the film, I looked up the original book to see how much changed in the movie adaptation. Surprisingly, I found that the movie only covers the first half of the book. The second half apparently shows Bastian in Fantasia becoming somewhat evil and losing his humanity. I've always wanted to the read the book, ever since I first saw this film, and the promise of a deeper story and an entirely new second half of the story is very enticing. While the effects are well done and I think it would still knock the socks off of little kids, it just didn't hold up for me. I feel like the adult that used to be able to go to Narnia, but cannot remember the way. Where did I put my copy of the Neverending Story?

300px-Scream_blacula_scream_1973

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:00:21 +0000

scream_blacula_scream_poster_02

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:02:38 +0000

scream blacula scream spanish 3

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:14:19 +0000

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:15:04 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Scream Blacula Scream (1973)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:24:05 +0000

Scream Blacula Scream (1973) Starring William Marshall, Don Mitchell, Pam Grier, Michael Conrad, Richard Lawson, Lynne Moody, Janee Michelle Directed By Bob Kelljan

I have to admit I was pretty nervous about gearing down to review Scream Blacula Scream, 1973’s follow up to the surprise horror-blaxploitation hit, Blacula. I was almost certain I’d have to go through the motions and crank out the typical “Shoddy, uninspired sequel to surprisingly good b-movie” review. Luckily that isn’t the case here. William Marshall turns in a performance that is every bit as classic as the original. And well, this time we have Pam Grier along for the ride… and she does voodoo! And Blacula kicks the shit out of pimps! But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here. This time around, the elder of a cult of voodoo practitioners lies dying and passes her own son up by naming Lisa (Pam Grier) her successor. The son, (played here by Richard Lawson) understandably pissed off to no end, swears revenge on that “skinny, jive-ass bitch”. Now, in most circles revenge would entail taking sharp keys to your enemies' car, or throwing eggs at his house. But in the world of voodoo, revenge consists of buying the bones of Blacula from some old man with a necklace made out of tiger teeth and resurrecting him by sacrificing a dove and drinking its blood… Yeah, you don’t want to mess with those voodoo guys. Thinking that the ritual didn’t work, the son pops open a Coors and sulks in his living room, only to have Blacula pop out of nowhere and feast on some of that sweet, red nectar. Lisa’s boyfriend Justin throws a party to display his impressive collection of African artifacts. This of course piques the interest of Blacula, who under the guise of his former identity of Prince Mamuwalde, shows up as usual in his full vampire getup. Look… by this time you just have to accept the fact that Blacula isn’t going to even attempt to conceal the fact that he is a vampire, and everybody is going to be completely oblivious to this guy poking around in his cape and the finest in 18^th century fashion. He wows the partygoers with his remarkable knowledge of African history and is equally impressed by Lisa’s prowess in the dark arts of voodoo. She inspires him to cure his evil curse and forever rid himself of his vampire bloodlust through a voodoo ceremony. Meanwhile Justin, who also happens to work part-time on the police force, pins the string of recent murders on Blacula. This leads to another classic “battle of wits” scene between Justin and Blacula that is just as good, if not better than the one in the first film. I think it’s safe to say that Blacula’s downfall will forever be connected to his insistence on getting mixed up with women who are involved with police investigators. This all leads to the exciting climax with Lisa attempting to exorcise the curse of Blacula from Mamuwalde while the police storm his mansion, fighting their way through his vampire horde. Also noteworthy is the aforementioned scene where Blacula finds himself wandering alone through a red-light district at night. He turns down the advances of a prostitute and then is accosted by her pimps. He delivers a powerful speech, condemning the pimps as “still being slaves, imitating their slave masters” before backhanding them through a window. Overall the plot is thinner this time around, but the action, performances, and dialogue are up to par with the first film. All the wild voodoo stuff is fresh and welcome as well. Pam is always good, but some may be put off by her role here as the vulnerable female victim. Those looking for shotgun-toting Pam are best advised to look elsewhere. Although other sequels were originally planned, this film would sadly mark the end of the Blacula series. It’s funny because as a kid, my only memories of William Marshall were his appearances on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse as the King of Cartoons. It’s only when I finally got around to seeing these films that I realized just what a terrific actor this guy actually was. He almost singlehandedly lent credibility and sophistication to a series of films that were never really intended to be as good as they actually turned out to be.

beerwars_poster_small

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 12:54:30 +0000

Mini Review: Beer Wars (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:04:56 +0000

Beer Wars (2009) Starring Anat Baron, Sam Calagione, Rhonda Kallman Directed by Anat Baron Expectations: Moderate. I like beer.

Beer Wars seeks to informs its viewers on the fundamental differences between big business beer companies like Anheuser-Busch and small, independent breweries like Dogfish Head. It starts out on the right foot, entertaining and communicating the facts. About halfway through, it loses a lot of steam as the facts run out. At this point it becomes a mixture of random scenes that don't go much of anywhere and don't shed any light on the subject. Lots of hitting the "independent breweries are better" nail into the ground. I'm already on board with buying local and off-brand brews, so this film also has a quality of "preaching to the choir" for me. All the scenes with Sam Calagione, founder of Dogfish Head Brewery, are great though, as he is a very honest, likeable fellow. Just the type of guy you'd want to have some grog with. He seems to have great fun running his business and apparently hasn't lost sight of the dreams that compelled him to open a brewery in the first place. I don't want to be too negative though, I liked the film. I just thought that it wasn't as focused or concise as it should have been. The film is definitely better than that train wreck of a poster.

critters-poster

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:29:48 +0000

onehalfstar

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:34:40 +0000

critters

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:36:35 +0000

2638-critters.1986-

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:37:53 +0000

critters2_0

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:39:23 +0000

Critters (1986)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 23 May 2010 13:00:20 +0000

Critters (1986) Starring Scott Grimes, Dee Wallace-Stone, M. Emmet Walsh, Don Keith Opper, Billy Green Bush, Terrence Mann, Ethan Phillips, Billy Zane Directed by Stephen Herek Expectations: Fairly high. I'd wanted to see this since I was a little kid.

I've seen parts of this over the years but had never seen it all the way through. I gave it a go, but this is definitely one that would be better with a bunch of friends. It's a horror comedy and my sights were set a bit more towards gore-fest. The key flaw to my logic though is that I never bothered to notice that this was PG-13. That would have tempered my expectations quite a bit, instead of building them up over the last couple of decades. Basically, the Critters (or Crites, if you want to get technical) make a daring escape from a prison asteroid, stealing a spaceship. A couple of shapeshifting bounty hunters head off in pursuit. The Crites land on Earth, rural Kansas to be exact. It's been a long flight and their little Critter bellys are rumbling. From here it devolves into a slight clone of Hitchcock's "The Birds," if the birds were space-faring, meat-chomping little furballs from space. I loved the opening of the movie, even if it does focus on the family a little too much. As the film dragged on, my bloodlust raged. "When will the Crites start chomping the innocents?" I thought. The film picks up as the Critters get more involved, but on an equal and opposite decline is the acting quality. For me, the minor horror fun of the Critters just didn't outweigh the bad acting so I found myself wanting the whole thing to be over. Dee Wallace-Stone was the main offender but pretty much every one else is close behind. I love M. Emmet Walsh but he was seriously underused in this film. No joke, he was missing in action for so long that when he returned towards the end, I had actually forgot that he was even in the movie. As I mentioned above, the film is PG-13, so you can pretty much forget about getting any quality gore shots. There's a couple of okay ones, but nothing inventive or terribly special. I did enjoy one moment when a Crite bites a dude's hand as he reaches for a boombox. It's a shame there wasn't more of these moments as the Critter's razor-sharp, tooth-lined mouths are ripe for that kind of thing. The Critters do get some of the funniest moments of the film though. I don't know what it is about non-humans speaking a native tongue with a subtitle of "Fuck!" but it gets me laughing every single time. Before the diehard Critters fans roll into a ball and shoot themselves at my neck, I liked the movie at a base level. The character design for the Critters is fantastic, perfectly capturing both scary and fun in one creature. It is fairly well directed but nothing near the greatness shown in Stephen Herek's second film, one of my all-time favorites, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. I should know by now not to get my hopes up so high when watching horror movies, but this one had so much going for it on the surface that I expected it to be different. It wasn't.

Black_frankenstein

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:44:36 +0000

title_bstein

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:45:56 +0000

blackenstein2

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:46:50 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Blackenstein [The Black Frankenstein] (1973)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:50:11 +0000

Blackenstein [The Black Frankenstein] (1973) Starring John Hart, Ivory Stone, Joe De Sue, Roosevelt Jackson Directed By William A. Levey

After the runaway success of Blacula, it was only a matter of time before other studios would attempt to cash in on the blaxploitation/horror sub-genre. The most obvious attempt was 1973’s Blackenstein, a movie that takes everything Blacula did right and throws it completely out the window. When Vietnam Vet, Eddie Turner (Joe De Sue) loses all of his limbs from a land mine, his fiancée Dr. Walker consults her old teacher, mad scientist Dr. Stein (John Hart) for help. Dr. Stein attempts to attach new limbs to Eddie, and all is going according to plan. But when his assistant, Malcomb professes his love for Dr. Walker and is rejected, he secretly switches the bottles of DNA solution out of spite. The unbalanced solution is injected into Eddie, mutating him into Blackenstein, a hideous (?) monster who escapes the laboratory every night, limping around Los Angeles like a 93 year-old woman, killing random strangers by ripping out their intestines. Blackenstein is a film that seems to think its premise alone is enough to sustain itself for an hour and a half. It ignores every lesson that made the film it attempts to rip-off so good. The acting is atrocious and everybody looks like they are sleepwalking through their performances. Ironically, the only actor worth mentioning is a racist male-nurse, who at least shows a little bit of enthusiasm in his role. But being that the most likable performance happens to be by the guy who is supposed to be the biggest asshole in the film doesn’t bode too well for it. The dialogue is also uninspired and unnecessarily expositional with exchanges that go something like this: Dr. Stein: My goodness you look wonderful! How long has it been? Dr. Walker: Oh I guess about three years. Yes because I’ve had my PhD in physics now for about two years, and I’ve never forgotten the year and a half I’ve spent studying under you. The entire budget seems like it went towards Dr. Stein’s admittedly cool laboratory, which features all kinds of flashing lights, diodes, bubbling beakers, and arbitrary meters and gadgets. But if even a fraction of that went towards finding some credible actors, drama students even, the film would benefit greatly. Instead we have this poor guy playing Blackenstein who has such an extraordinary lack of acting skill that even three pounds of prosthetics and makeup can’t cover it up. And if the first half of the film held anybody’s interest, then the last half is guaranteed to obliterate it. For the final 45 or so minutes, we have Blackenstein escaping his prison, night after night, murdering random strangers. Believe me, aside from a few seconds of decent gore, this is not as exciting as it sounds. The murder scenes are so slow because poor stiff-ass Blackenstein has no mobility and the editing seems like it was cobbled together by a catatonic 4 year-old with a pair of scissors. There is no motivation behind his killing spree, so ultimately he just comes off as a mad animal that needs to be put down. The original Frankenstein worked because of the monster’s inner struggle with his repressed humanity and compassion. This monster is just a mindless killer, which totally disengages the audience from even giving a shit. Also, you gotta love how the film’s title is displayed as “Blackenstein: The Black Frankenstein” as if that wasn’t obvious enough. Why stop there? You could have titled it “Blackenstein: The Black Frankenstein: who is Black”. Wow. I didn’t think it was humanly possible, but William A. Levey managed to create a blaxploitation film with no soul. It is borderline criminal for a film titled Blackenstein to be this boring. Don’t let your love for Blacula encourage you to even give this one a shot, this movie doesn’t even have any of the redeeming qualities that make most bad movies watchable.

coco-audrey

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 26 May 2010 11:57:20 +0000

Coco Before Chanel (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 26 May 2010 12:13:19 +0000

Coco Before Chanel [Coco avant Chanel] (2009) Starring Audrey Tautou, Benoît Poelvoorde, Alessandro Nivola, Marie Gillain Directed by Anne Fontaine Expectations: Moderate.

Going into this movie I expected a tale of how Coco Chanel became a fashion giant, how she built her empire. Instead, I was treated to a simple love story, that funnily enough, was pretty devoid of love. This is definitely not my general type of movie. I have nothing against a good romantic movie, it's just not a genre I'd specifically pick over something I'm more interested in. I find so many romantic movies to be formulaic and boring, so I generally overlook them. Coco Before Chanel is without a doubt a slow, plodding film, but it has a purpose and it builds towards it well. The film opens with Coco as a small child, her father dropping her off at the orphanage. This abandonment instills within her a reluctance to trust men and influences her later decisions. The film jumps forward to when Coco is about twenty or so and singing at a saloon. She is noticed by the Baron Balsan (Benoît Poelvoorde) and the two develop a relationship. This gives her a foot into the upper class of French society and through Coco's determination she remains true to herself and her personal style. The film's plot can easily be summed up in a few sentences but it isn't fair to the film at all. Anne Fontaine has crafted a very moody film that stays with you long after the credits have rolled. The lead performances by Tautou and Poelvoorde are fantastic and they are very enjoyable to watch together. There are a few scenes early on where Chanel is shown quickly altering a dress that seemed kind of out of place. If I remember right, it had not been established that she was employed as a seamstress during the day, so the scene just seemed like a nod to everyone in the audience that knows where her story ends up. A minor annoyance but it took me out of the film. As much as I enjoyed watching Coco Before Chanel, I felt that it was a bit slow. Not really in a bad way, the film didn't feel long, it just wasn't completely interesting at all times. I can attribute this to my lack of love for the genre, but a part of me thinks that if the film was better made I wouldn't have had that problem. Visually, the film is a little uneven. At times it is incredibly average to look at, while other shots are composed extremely well and look fantastic. The film's focus is Coco Chanel, groundbreaking iconic fashion designer. I expected the film to at least at some level to mirror some of this style throughout but that's only really the case in the final scene, which was one of my favorite scenes and almost brought me to tears. It was in those last moments that the entirety of the film's story hit me and I recognized the emotional weight that had held the film down. If you're in the mood for a subtle, minor-key love story bio-pic, then give this one a chance. It's pretty good.

jaquette

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 27 May 2010 12:37:56 +0000

poultrygeist

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 27 May 2010 12:39:04 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 27 May 2010 12:39:51 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 27 May 2010 12:49:30 +0000

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006) Starring Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, Allyson Sereboff, Robin Watkins, Joshua Olatunde, Rose Ghavami, Caleb Emerson, Lloyd Kaufman, Khalid Rivera Directed By Lloyd Kaufman

Believe me, I tried. I tried really hard to mentally prepare myself to brave another Troma film. I am in love with the gaudy trash that Lloyd Kaufman spews out there to his deranged audience. But god damn, every film manages to outdo the others before it in terms of bedrock tastelessness and unadulterated offensiveness. I thought I could hang with the big guns this time around, but within the first five minutes a drooling axe murderer is caught slapping his cock around while a zombie hand shoots out of the ground and straight up his ass... That just told me instantly that I was doomed. When a fried chicken franchise restaurant is built on top of Tromaville’s Indian burial ground, the product begins coming to life. A gang of lesbian protesters demonstrate in front of the franchise, carrying signs with sayings like “Fuck Tibet, free the chickens!” When they are tricked into eating the tainted poultry, well, I bet you can figure out what happens next… To say that Poultrygeist is the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in years is an understatement. I’ve always considered Peter Jackson’s early films to be the milestone in terms of truly twisted moviemaking, but the unbelievable shit that the Troma team has cooked up this time had me hooting and hollering like, well, a possessed zombie chicken. I mean it, just when you think you’ve seen everything, this film manages to up the ante and throw something else even more unbelievably profane and disgusting up there. There were about 20 times in this film I told myself, aw man, there is no way they are going there, only to see them, yes… go there. If you think a grown man committing acts of bestiality to a raw chicken carcass is about the worst thing you’ve ever had to witness on a movie screen, then Lucy, you should see where this scene goes only seconds later. Am I wrong to have enjoyed something so deliberately ugly and perverse so much? If there’s one thing Lloyd Kaufman does extremely well, it is to lure the viewer into accepting his degenerate vision, and in fact, revel in it. How can you not feel charmed by a fun musical number set to a lesbian sex-scene? Or a gay Mexican who gets stuffed into a meat grinder only to come back to life as a zombie sandwich? These are the kinds of weird ideas that we all would love to see realized on screen, whether we come to terms with it or not. I mean, you can have your thumb up your ass analyzing the layers of meaning in The Seventh Seal all day long, but at the end of the day what you really want to see are a bunch of projectile vomiting zombie chickens tearing apart customers with butcher knives, admit it. There is really no need to delve deep into plot this time, because plot is only there to string together all of the fantastic stuff you can dream up involving blood, guts, boobs, shit, and bodily fluids. What I have to truly admire is that amidst the chaos, the film does offer a pretty sharp satire on not only the corporate greed of the fast food industry, but also the extremists that protest their establishments. Yes, this is Troma we’re talking about, so nobody is off limits, just ask the retarded kid in the wheelchair that gets turned into a zombie chicken, or the six-year-old girl guzzling beer in the backseat of a station wagon. We love Troma for the same reasons we love punk rock, because they do the shit that everybody wants to, but nobody dares to. Listen, this isn’t Citizen Kane we’re dealing with here and not everything in this movie works. But every joke that falls flat is made up for by scenes of carnage, singing, and fornication so twisted that you can’t help but watch in awe at the sheer audacity of it all. I would recommend this film to anybody who enjoys fried chicken, hates fried chicken, lesbians, zombie fans, Muslims, Christians, the obese, the elderly, diabetics, and pretty much everybody else. This film is guaranteed to elicit a response. It just may not be one that agrees with you.

MONSTURDCoverBox-revised

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 28 May 2010 11:56:02 +0000

monsturd

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 28 May 2010 11:57:40 +0000

Monsturd (2003)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 28 May 2010 12:04:41 +0000

Monsturd (2003) Starring Paul Weiner, Beth West, Dan Burr, Brad Dosland, Dan West, Rick Popko, Hannah Stangel Directed by Rick Popko & Dan West Expectations: My expectations were flushed before I even considered watching this.

I'm not going to beat around the bush, this is one big piece of shit. Monsturd tells the touching story of a prison escapee who falls into the wrong vat of goo and emerges as a giant shit monster. I'm getting ahead of myself though. First, the movie sets itself up as a fairy tale with a little girl waking up from a bad dream. Her father comes to check up on her and when he proposes to tell her a calming story, she refuses and tells him a story of her own. The story of an evil doctor employed by DuTech who unleashes a shit-storm of bad vibes on the town of Butte County, CA by dumping a shitload of toxic waste into the sewer system. When the escaped convict gets trapped in the sewer and falls into the goo he is reduced to nothing more than a bloody skeleton. OR SO THEY THOUGHT! A man and his wife fight over cleaning the toilet. The wife insists that the husband gets his ass down there and cleans up his own shit. He does so, but as he's plunging the toilet the shit monster comes up behind him and murders him. The scene is truly awful and laughable but not as funny as you might expect. When the cops come to investigate they see the calling card of the convict, a written message on the bathroom wall. It says, "Don't Get Caught With Your Pants Down!" in, you guessed it, shit. As the film goes on, the cops and the FBI agent working with them figure out that there really is a shit monster lurking around town. They advise everyone in the town not to use their toilets, instead to shit in buckets or whatever else they can find. But this is where the problem truly lies. Tomorrow is the day of the annual Butte County Chili Cookoff! You can't expect people to go without using the facilities when there's bowel-burning chili to be judged. The acting, directing and lighting are all equally awful. There's not really any gore in the movie which is a supreme disappointment as these little movies can usually get away with more hardcore gore than a mainstream picture. It is not to be though as the focus here is firmly on shit. The film was shot on a camcorder and for a camcorder movie it's better than I expected it to be. That isn't saying a lot but it was good enough to watch the whole thing. I'm a bit more masochistic than most when it comes to shitty horror movies though, and this is easily the most full-of-shit movie I've ever seen. Never before has a movie lived up more faithfully to its name. This one is truly a Monsturd.

macheads_review

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 29 May 2010 13:15:35 +0000

MacHeads (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 29 May 2010 13:49:13 +0000

MacHeads (2009) Starring a bunch of MacHeads Directed by Kobi Shely Expectations: Low. I like Macs but I'm not a fanboy.

MacHeads tells the story of how the Mac community grew from an extremely dedicated bunch of computer nerds into millions of users that may or may not even own an Apple computer. The shift in Apple's focus from the computer to the handheld device signaled the company's rise in mainstream popularity, while also causing its hardcore fanbase to dwindle. Fanbase may be a strange word to use for a company but if you've ever talked with one of these folks you realize that hardcore Mac users really are huge fans of the company and what they stand for. As Apple grows and leaves behind its underdog status, is it still a viable option for the elitist to claim that Apple is "fighting the good fight" against corporate giant Microsoft? I don't think so. The question only exists for those of us that have followed computing since the days of things like the Apple IIe and DOS. For the rest of the populace, it's more a question of cost vs. value and most people are not going to spend the money for a Mac when they can get a comparable Windows-based computer at half the cost. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be talking about the movie. Anyway, the movie is fun from a people watching standpoint, as there are a wide range of eccentric MacHeads featured here. It reminded me of "Trekkies" in that way and it definitely remains interesting because of them. There's the guy that started BMUG (Berkeley Macintosh Users Group) in 1984 and now likes to wear a very amusing assortment of hats. We also have the couple that live in a bus and have a barn dedicated to their digital museum of old Mac computers. The couple had switched to Windows after the husband felt that Apple had peaked creatively and Windows offered better software. When they switched back after ten dark years, the wife specifically cited the Mac as the source of her returned creative inspiration, allowing her to pen her "Opera for Pigs". This may sound exaggerated but as an amateur songwriter myself, I can understand the importance of the tools that you use to enhance, instead of hinder, your creative flow. It still sounds ridiculous to place so much importance on the Mac, but hey, whatever floats your boat. I don't mean to make fun of the interviewees, they all add insightful comments to the discussion of the Mac community's roots and growth throughout the 1980s. The film doesn't convey a lot of information, but then I'm coming in with some base knowledge of the computer industry so for the uninformed it would probably be more informational. The film only runs one hour though, so it thankfully doesn't overstay its welcome. It moves at a quick pace and while it easily could have been better put together it's a fun little thing to pass an hour if you have any interest in Mac computers, computer communities or just simple people watching.

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 31 May 2010 13:33:14 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 31 May 2010 13:34:39 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 31 May 2010 13:35:22 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 31 May 2010 13:36:40 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Bruce Lee's Deadly Kung Fu (1976)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:06:21 +0000

[Author’s note: This review is intended to kick off a two-week series showcasing the highs and lows of Bruceploitation, the wild and often tasteless deluge of films that came out after the unexpected death of Bruce Lee. These films featured Bruce lookalikes in films that ranged from half-assed remakes & inaccurate bio-pics to the just plain bizarre. When a screen legend dies at the top of his game the natural tendency is to rush in and fill that void. Enter the Dragon was about to hit theaters worldwide, Bruce Lee Mania was still in full swing, and nobody was willing to accept that the Little Dragon would no longer be around to make films. The Hong Kong movie industry, who was no stranger to milking proven box office success until it was withered and dry, hired dozens of Bruce lee imitators to star in films with amusingly deceptive sounding titles like New Game of Death and Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger. The resulting films are often quickly dismissed by kung-fu film aficionados as cheap, crass, and shameless… and well, they are. But let’s accept that and give these films a second shot. It’s time to taste our blood, thumb our noses and take a closer look at the wacky world of Bruce Lee exploitation cinema.] Bruce Lee’s Deadly Kung Fu [詠春截拳] (1976) Starring Bruce Li, Jimmy Lee Fong, Carter Wong, Hwang Jang Lee, Roy Horan, Paul Wei Ping-Ao Directed By Chan Wa, William Cheung Kei

When it comes to Bruce Lee imitators, Bruce Li set the standard. He was among the very first out the gate after the Death of Bruce Lee, and with good reason. He pretty much nailed all of Lee’s mannerisms and put them on display just enough as not to overdo it. While most Lee imitator’s mimicry bordered on tactless parody, Bruce Li was actually very believable, masterful even, in his portrayals of Lee. Li, whose real name was Ho Chung-Tao, was busy working as a stuntman in his native Taiwan, trying to break into the film industry with no success. It was only after the death of Bruce Lee, that producers in Hong Kong took notice of his resemblance and virtually launched him to superstardom overnight. Ironically, Li’s claim to fame would haunt him for most of his career. In later interviews he expressed some pretty heavy resentment towards a film industry that pigeonholed him into living in the shadow of Lee, never really allowing him to distance himself from the role. (Which is a very valid argument, Bruce Li was a pretty accomplished martial artist in his own right.) He ended up retiring from acting altogether after the death of his wife in the early 80’s. Bruce Lee’s Deadly Kung Fu is a pretty decent springboard into Bruceploitation cinema, if only because it carries most of the traits typical to the genre before it went absolutely apeshit towards the end of the 70’s (but we’ll get to that next week). You get your obligatory nunchaku scenes, your classic Bruce Lee training sequences that feature a lot of shots of Bruce jogging and lifting dumbbells, and plenty of grossly exaggerated facets of Bruce Lee’s real life. My favorite in this particular movie is when Bruce gets his ass handed to him by the baddest kung fu master in town, a guy so badass that he walks around with long curly locks, a pencil thin moustache, bare-knuckle gloves, and a Dracula cape. A distraught Bruce ventures to a secluded creek and has a meaningful flashback of his master, which compels him to create Jeet Kune Do. The plot is basically lifted from The Chinese Connection, only this time set in modern-day San Francisco and with some pretty goofy looking Caucasians as the protagonists instead of the Japanese. Hell, even Paul Wei (better known as Interpreter Wu in The Chinese Connection) makes an appearance. Don’t be too shocked… often times the producers would hire actors who actually appeared in Lee’s movies in an attempt to legitimize their film. Most of the time they would play roles virtually identical to those that they played in the earlier films, as is the case here, with Paul Wei once again playing the traitorous Chinese who aligns himself with the racist Chinese-hating foreigners. Li plays “Bob” Lee, a transparent carbon copy of Bruce Lee. In fact, the dubbers frequently forget this fact, accidently letting the name “Bruce” slip through on several occasions. He pals around San Francisco with his friend (Jimmy Lee Fong) and the two meet up with Carter Wong (best remembered as the thunder god with the big straw hat in Big Trouble in Little China). They fall into the ire of some syndicated, karate-fighting crime mob who hate Chinese people. Bruce - I mean Bob, quickly dispatches them with some wing chun techniques, so they run back to headquarters to tell their karate teacher, played by some Asian dude in blackface and a pretty nappy-ass afro wig. Bruce beats them again, and when the mob boss comes back from New York, he is furious. You can tell this guy doesn’t take shit because he curses a lot and has a scar on his cheek. He orders his army of karate fighting gringos to go all out and “beat the shit out of those Chinese guys”. Despite being a decent example of the genre, the film itself gets pretty boring and repetitive from here on out. Bruce kicks the shit out of these guys and opens up a kung-fu school to teach foreigners, which only infuriates them more so he kicks the shit out of them again. Blah, blah, blah. Rinse. Repeat. The real winner here is Paul Wei, who steals the show with his fantastically flamboyant wardrobe that only gets more and more ridiculous as the film progresses. I thought the sequined gay-golfer uniform would be hard to top until he strutted out in the zebra striped jockey outfit. If you’re interested in tracking this film down, a bit of a warning though. This movie is like most Bruceploitation flicks, which are notorious for being renamed and repackaged so many times, that often, nobody remembers what the original title was in the first place. You can find this film under at least half a dozen other names including Bruce Lee’s Secret, The Story of the Dragon, Bruce Lee: A Dragon Story, Bruce Li’s Jeet Kune Do, etc. [Editor's note: After scouring the internet for some poster images to use for this film, I happened upon a Bruce Lee Clone website that not only had the images I sought but also an extensive database of info on these forgotten films. It's called "The Clones of Bruce Lee" and I heartily recommend you check it out if you enjoyed Uncle Jasper's review.]

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:49:06 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:51:28 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:52:33 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:54:03 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 11:54:28 +0000

Broken Embraces (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:16:09 +0000

Broken Embraces [Los abrazos rotos] (2009) Starring Penélope Cruz, Blanca Portillo, Lluís Homar, Lola Dueñas, Ángela Molina, Rossy de Palma Directed by Pedro Almodóvar Expectations: Very high.

Pedro Almodovar is quickly becoming one of my favorite writer/directors. This is the third film I've seen from him and he continues to amaze me. There is a power in his words and images that is hard to find in modern cinema. The story of Broken Embraces deals primarily with a retired film director (Lluís Homar) who has gone blind. The film also flashes back fourteen years to the character of Lena (Penelope Cruz), a secretary for a wealthy businessman who aspires to be an actress. The film unfolds at a slow but interesting pace, gradually intertwining the two stories with skill. The acting all around is excellent with Penelope Cruz and Lluís Homar leading the charge. The characters they play feel like real people, full of emotions and desire. The film jumps around in time a lot, but thanks to the wonderful performances this is never a problem. The acting reflects the subtle passage of time and you can quickly grasp where the character is at the current moment in relation to what you know of the character prior. This kind of free time structure can so easily work against a film, but Almodovar plays it with skill and it helps him tell a more interesting story. Of the three Almodovar pictures I've seen (Talk to Her and Volver being the other two) this is by far the least overtly sexual. It was borderline mundane in that way, where I have come to expect edgy, frank and real depictions and discussions of the sexual nature of humans. That is not to say that Broken Embraces is devoid of sexuality, in fact it flows and pulses with sexual energy but it is more reserved and subtle than what I expected. I don't mean this to sound like a complaint though, as the subtle nature of the script was perfect for this story and worked very well on-screen. Almodovar has said that this film is his love letter to filmmaking, but it is done in such a way where it isn't immediately clear that that is what he's doing. Even after the film ended I was slightly puzzled about it because I felt that there was more homage to the craft in his "Talk to Her" than this. After a couple of days of revisiting it in my mind though, I realize now how deep it runs throughout the film. Editing is one of the most important and misunderstood aspects of the filmmaking process, and it is editing here that is the key point. Broken Embraces seeks to impart how important editing is to the final product, both in plot points and in actual practice. This is one of the best edited works of 2009, running a close second to Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. Almodovar is by far my favorite visual filmmaker working today. I am constantly amazed by how well thought out and beautiful his shots and framing are. Not a single shot is wasted in this film, every one perfectly composed. A pile of torn photos, a curtain, even an x-ray of an arm all look beautiful and distinct through Almodovar's lens. Every frame is exploding with a painter's palette of colors, but nothing seems flashy about his style. That's the amazing thing. It's easy to be flashy and have people flock to your films, but to be stylish without overusing flash is brilliant. I've heard that his earlier films have a different tone and style (supposedly more flashy and less mature) than the later period movies that I have seen. I might be way off base here, but ever since I saw my first Almodovar film I've felt that he is a kindred spirit to Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino is definitely flashier and he "borrows" too much, but both directors share such an unabashed love of the art and language of cinema that I can't help but think of them in a similar space. I can't be the only one to think this though, as last year's foreign language Oscar was presented by none other than both Almodovar and Tarantino. I can't recommend this movie or Pedro Almodovar enough. It is auteurs like him that have made me passionate about film. He is reason enough to watch foreign films if you aren't already doing so. I can't wait to experience more of his films.

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:52:20 +0000

Shaolin Intruders

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:54:27 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:55:55 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:56:47 +0000

Shaolin Intruders (1983)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:11:26 +0000

Shaolin Intruders [三闯少林] (1983) Starring Yee Tung-Sing (Derek Yee), Jason Pai Piao, Liu Yu-Po, Phillip Ko, Chan Shen, Ku Feng, Lee Hoi Sang Directed by Tang Chia Expectations: High. Love Shaw Bros. films and this came highly recommended.

I watched this movie because my friend and colleague, Uncle Jasper, recommended this as a Shaw Brothers movie that featured some of the best fight choreography he had ever seen. As a huge fan of such things, I had to see for myself what he spoke of. Uncle Jasper was not pulling a fast one. This is hands-down, one of the best Shaw Brothers movies I've ever seen. Directed by Tang Chia, longtime fight choreographer at Shaw Bros., the film exudes kung-fu energy. The opening titles run over a group of Shaolin monks going through their training exercises. There is a fight scene towards the end of the opening credits where all the monks use wooden benches as their weapons. It was so well choreographed and exciting to watch, a fantastic fight sequence, and we're still in the opening credits! Director Tang Chia was fight choreographer on countless other Shaw pictures. His credits list goes on for days, culminating in his three directorial efforts, "Shaolin Prince," "Shaolin Intruders," and "Opium and the Kung-Fu Master." If the other two are anything close to the awesomeness that is Shaolin Intruders, then they are also among the best the Run Run Shaw Studio has to offer. The plot is a fantastic revenge kung-fu drama, involving all kinds of murder, betrayal and intrigue. I found myself fully invested in the plot and caring about the characters. Clans are being murdered by a mysterious group of fighters. Our hero, Lei Xun the wanderer (Derek Yee), notices that the men were killed using the Shaolin Jingang Palm. Enlisting the help of his friends, Qiao Yiduo the gambler (Jason Pai Piao) and Ye Qinghua the ferocious female (Liu Yu-po), they travel to the local Shaolin temple and confront the monks. The monks require the trio to pass three tests before they will be allowed entrance. The tests consist of three flat-out amazing fights. First up is Qiao Yiduo vs. five Shaolin monks. This is followed by Lei Xun vs. twelve Shaolin pole-fighting monks. The third test is a battle between the Shaolin Abbot (Chan Shen) and both Lei Xun and Qiao Yiduo. They fight perched atop the wooden benches from the opening credits fight, the first one to touch the ground declared the loser. Each fight ups the ante in terms of excitement and tension. The wire-work featured in all the fights is superb, easily the best I've seen in any Shaw picture. The sustained level of action and excitement contained throughout Shaolin Intruders is simply unprecedented. Even with all that, it is nothing compared to the end battle with Phillip Ko. This final fight is the ultimate definition of what a knock-out, drag-out fight should be on film. The fluid nature of the choreography and the skill of the actors is a joy to watch. The fight reminded me a bit of a video game as the combatants pursue each other through multiple areas, like any great multi-phase end boss fight. No quarter is given and blood flows freely as Derek Yee and Phillip Ko use every trick in their books to fend off certain death at one another's hand. This is one of the great screen match-ups and one that you can't resist to rewind over and over again. I cannot rave about this movie enough, except to give it the four stars it deserves as not only one of the greatest Shaw Bros. films, but also one of the greatest kung-fu pictures of all time. Enjoy!

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:25:15 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:28:54 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:29:42 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger (1976)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:37:58 +0000

Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger [天皇巨星] (1976) Starring Bruce Li, Yi Chang, Ma Chi Chiang, Lu Chi, Tsao Shao Jung, Kang Kam Directed By Tso Nam Lee

Of all the Bruceploitation films, I don’t think any makes a more audacious attempt to validate itself than Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger. The film opens up with Tiger (Bruce Li) visiting Bruce Lee on the set of his latest film. Lee seems very troubled by strange phone calls he has been receiving recently and names Tiger his successor in case anything is to happen to him. So there you have it, Bruce Li hand picked by the little dragon himself. It’s a pretty shameless act of self-promotion, but it’s fun as hell to watch Bruce Li and Bruce Lee (also played by Li… confused yet?) having a conversation across the screen from each other. In any case, Bruce Lee dies the next day and we are treated to stock footage of his funeral. Tiger meanwhile is back in his homeland of Singapore honoring the life of his idol when he suddenly has an epiphany and quickly dismisses anything as boring as a cerebral edema as being the cause of his hero’s death. He takes it upon himself to investigate further and is swept into a ridiculously sensationalized conspiracy involving triads and drugs. Tiger first attempts to meet up with Suzie Yung, who I should mention is a thinly veiled attempt to depict Taiwanese actress Betty Ting Pei, Bruce Lee’s supposed mistress and the woman whose house Bruce was found dead in. I don’t pretend to know anything factual surrounding the Death of Bruce Lee that anybody out there doesn’t already know. But the film draws some pretty crazy-ass, half-baked conclusions and is borderline slanderous in its portrayal of Betty Ting Pei, who is pretty much labeled a slut and implicated in some pretty heavy triad activity throughout the film. I’m not a lawyer, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Hong Kong has some loose laws regarding defamation of character since this film and all of its wild assumptions ended up seeing the light of day. There is also a notable scene, typical of the genre, which blurs the line between loving homage and blatant pilfering. Tiger attempts to infiltrate the triad headquarters and after staking out the premises, finds it is too heavily guarded for the straightforward approach. Hmm… what to do? Tiger throws on a pair of dorky glasses, poses as a telephone repairman, and snips the phone line. Sound vaguely familiar? Yeah. What follows is virtually a shot for shot remake of the same sequence in the Chinese Connection. But all blatant tackiness aside, in pure terms of action and fun, this movie truly sets the golden standard for Bruce Lee exploitation. As Tiger delves further and further into the triad conspiracy we are treated to a candy store of fantastic kung fu set pieces. There are fights in abandoned warehouses, on top of logs at a lumber mill, on a rooftop garden, at a night club, and in a gymnasium. The movie is also chock-full of fun villains as Tiger comes across sadistic triads, a gigantic Chinese guy (which echoes the Bruce Lee / Kareem Abdul-Jabbar fight in Game of Death), and an angry female gymnast. My personal favorite is saved for the end of the film though, where Tiger meets up with the triad leader. He is a fantastic final villain who sports a derby, carries a cane that can transform into a sword, and swaggers around in a white Wong Fei-Hung outfit. There is almost a campy, James Bond villain-esque feeling to this guy and his kung fu is outstanding. The two battle it out in front of a rocky beachfront amid roaring surf. There is something truly epic to the battle as wind and the raging ocean mist whips these guys all over the place. Say what you want about Bruce Lee imitators, but Bruce Li was really a talented martial artist and his fights in this film are among the best I have ever seen. If you are able to put the tasteless plot and its crackpot theories behind you, then get out there and go see this movie now… and get ready for next week because we have two real doozies in store as we continue our look at the clones of Bruce Lee.

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:14:34 +0000

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:37:06 +0000

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) Starring Cary Elwes, Richard Lewis, Roger Rees, Amy Yasbeck, Avery Schreiber, Dave Chappelle, Tracey Ullman Directed by Mel Brooks Expectations: Moderate. I love Mel Brooks but his later period stuff generally leaves me a bit wanting.

I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I decided to watch it because I have no interest in the new Ridley Scott/Russell Crowe version, but I thought it might be fun to get on the Robin Hood train anyway. At a base level I did like it, but that just isn't enough these days. I didn't expect this to be anything great, but my past experience with Mel Brooks left open the door of hope and I took the plunge. If you've seen any other filmed version of Robin Hood you know the basic story here. Specifically, if you've seen "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" you know pretty much the exact story. I happen to have seen that film dozens of times while I was growing up so I know it well. I recently re-watched it about a year ago, so it's still fresh in my mind. That film didn't hold up very well, and neither does the parody version. There's definitely some great jokes here, but for every one of those, there's five okay jokes to go with it. You're left with a film that starts out pretty good, but never rises above the source material. Cary Elwes was surprisingly good as Robin Hood. It was clear that his inspiration for the portrayal came directly from Errol Flynn, with good reason. No one before or since has come close to his version, but Elwes actually manages to hold his own and remain funny. Richard Lewis is good as Prince John, but he does get annoying. I could really see that role being played by Gene Wilder had the film been made a few years earlier. Dave Chappelle is wasted as one of the merry men, but more so now because I know how funny he can be. If I had seen it without any clue who he was I probably would have enjoyed his contributions more. Maid Marian's introduction song is one of the high points of the film and Mel Brooks actually managed to fake me out on where he was going with a joke. The camera cranes in on a castle window as Marian sings. The camera moves closer and closer to the window and right before it crashes into it, it cuts to Marian singing in bed. "Wow, I thought it was going to crash through the window," I said to myself. A few seconds later, after I had just about forgot about it, the camera crashes through the window. Good stuff, and I wish more of the film had that kind of cleverness. It's not a bad movie, but it's far from good. The movie does have its fans though, so don't let me discourage you if you enjoy Brooks' later period movies. I don't regret watching it, I just wish it was better. Ultimately this movie just suffered from being seen too late in my life. If I had dropped it on my brain when it was first released, I would have been twelve and the film would have been a lot more successful. Oh well.

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Silver Emulsion — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:59:48 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 14:01:02 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 14:01:42 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 14:02:17 +0000

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 14:17:22 +0000

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) Starring Peter Sellers, George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Keenan Wynn, Slim Pickens, James Earl Jones Directed by Stanley Kubrick Expectations: High. I adore Kubrick and I'd only seen this once before.

Stanley Kubrick is one of my favorite directors, but this film has always been something of an enigma to me. I only saw it once, about ten years ago or so, and at the time I enjoyed it but I just didn't think it was as amazing as everyone else seemed to think it was. It had been built up as one of the great screen comedies, but for me it didn't deliver at that level. I got the satire, but it's more of a slight smile throughout kind of movie, instead of a raucous laughter kind of movie. I was really into Billy Wilder comedies at the time so I guess subconsciously I went in expecting something in that vein. This time around, obviously, I knew what I was getting myself into. That helped quite a bit and my second viewing of Dr. Strangelove was a much more pleasant experience. The plot follows three separate but connected stories. There's the story of Gen. Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) who orders his planes to commence "Wing Attack Plan R". There's also the story of the B-52 Bomber crew on their run towards their target inside Communist Russia. Finally, we have the War Room, where the President and many top advisors, including Gen. Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) argue the fate of the world. The plots are skillfully intertwined and perfectly play off of one another. Sterling Hayden is fantastic and reminds me a lot of Clint Eastwood in this cigar-chompin' role. I've always felt that he is one of the great actors that doesn't get enough credit these days and his performance in Dr. Strangelove is one of his best. Peter Sellers plays three roles in the film. First is Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, an RAF officer stationed at Gen. Ripper's base. Next is President Merkin Muffley, who has his scenes entirely in the War Room. The last role is the title character, Dr. Strangelove, a wheelchair-bound, former Nazi scientist. Each role is distinct and fun to watch, but my favorite is probably the mild-mannered President. His hilarious phone call with the Soviet premier was one of my favorite scenes in the film. The meek nature of the character also plays incredibly well off of George C. Scott's exaggerated, wild performance. I read that Kubrick had to tell Scott that they were filming warm-up takes to get him to go so over-the-top. Scott felt disrespected and vowed never to work with Kubrick again, but the performance stands near the top of his career and it's one of my favorite parts about the film. The satire present in the film still resonates in the current global climate, which is an achievement for a forty-six year old film, but in the real world we should see this as decidedly less than an achievement. Forty-six years is long enough for times to have changed and moved on, problems resolved, wounds healed. Unfortunately, that isn't the case, and is at least in part responsible for the continued success of Kubrick's film. As I think about each element of the film, I am realizing that I like the film a lot more than was first apparent. All of the performances are great and the three story nature of the film keep it endlessly interesting. It would be wrong of me not to mention how awesome Slim Pickens is in his role as the bomber pilot. Originally, Peter Sellers was to play this role also, but I'm so glad it didn't work out. Pickens is perfect and lends a realistic credibility to the film. He's pretty much the only one in it that plays their part straight, without any hint of the comedic. This was the character I latched onto when I first saw the film and his final moments on-screen, riding the bomb, are among the most famous in film history. It's one of the great satires and I feel that after watching it a second time I have peeled back another layer of its onion-like structure. I can see myself enjoying this more and more every time I watch it. It's not my favorite Kubrick movie, but it's still damn good.

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Silver Emulsion — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 13:17:19 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 13:26:13 +0000

Mini-Review: Fela Kuti: Music is the Weapon (1982)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 13:33:10 +0000

Fela Kuti: Music is the Weapon [Musique au poing] (1982) Starring Fela Kuti Directed by Jean-Jacques Flori & Stéphane Tchalgadjieff Expectations: Very High. I love Fela Kuti.

Fela Kuti is one of my favorite musical artists. He created the Afrobeat genre and sound together with his band the Africa '70 (and later the Egypt '80). He seems to have entered more of the mainstream conciousness with the recent success of the Broadway musical "Fela!" but the real heart of his music lies in Nigeria and the political struggles he faced there. This film features a couple of live performances from Fela and the band, none of them full songs, but enough to allow you to get a sense of his personal style on-stage. The film also covers a history of Fela and his music, covering his trip to America where he met Black Panthers who inspired him to become more political in his own country. The problem is, if you know much of anything about Fela and his music, this documentary doesn't offer much that you haven't already heard. It's not that big of a problem though, as any Fela fan will enjoy the live performances and the extensive interviews with Fela himself. The film does do a good job of showing the poor living conditions in the Nigeria's largest city, Lagos. These scenes are cut to Fela's song "Sorrow, Tears, and Blood" and it is a perfect choice. The images of people's everyday struggles echo the lyrics to the song and like never before I was really able to grasp the power of his words. His music is so much fun, but underlying that is the immense Nigerian social problems. Seeing it all at once brought it home and shows how Fela was so much more than just a bandleader. He sought above all to improve the lives of the Nigerian people through his music. Music is the weapon. [Update: I screwed up. The song I was referring to in the film is not Confusion, but "Sorrow, Tears, and Blood". I knew I should have double checked it, but I was trying to get this up quick and I figured I was right. So all mentions to the song Confusion have been removed and replaced with the accurate info. In any case, both songs are excellent.] I'll leave you with some of the lyrics to the song I mentioned above, "Sorrow, Tears, and Blood." Seek it out if you've never heard it. Everybody run run run Everybody scatter scatter Some people lost some bread Some one nearly die Some one just die Police dey come, Army dey come Confusion everywhere Seven minutes later All done cool down, brother Police don go away Army don disappear Dem leave Sorrow, Tears, and Blood (2x) Dem regular trade mark *(CHORUS) DEM REGULAR TRADE MARK Dem regular trade mark *(CHORUS) DEM REGULAR TRADE MARK My people self dey fear too much Dem fear for the thing we no see Dem fear for the air around us We fear to fight for freedom We fear to fight for liberty We fear to fight for justice We fear to fight for happiness We always get reason to fear We no want die We no want quench** **(destroy) Mama dey for house Papa dey for house I get one wife I get one car I get one house I just build house I wan enjoy So policeman go slap your face You no go talk Army man go whip your yansh** **(ass) You go dey look like donkey Rhodesia dey do dem own Our leaders dey yab for nothing South Africa dey do dem own Dem leave Sorrow, Tears, and Blood *(CHORUS) DEM REGULAR TRADE MARK Dem regular trade mark *(CHORUS) DEM REGULAR TRADE MARK That is why-y-y Everybody run run run Everybody scatter scatter Some people lost some bread Some one nearly die Some one just die Police dey come, Army dey come Confusion everywhere Time dey go Time no wait for nobody Police dey come Like this **[make siren noise with voice]

Contact

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:15:21 +0000

If you ever need to get a hold of me for any reason that can't be hashed out in post comments, you can email me at: silveremul [@] gmail.com I'll try my best to remember to check it and get back with you ASAP.

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Silver Emulsion — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:17:03 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 11:54:07 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 12:10:10 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: The Clones of Bruce Lee (1977)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 12:23:18 +0000

The Clones of Bruce Lee [神威三猛龍] (1977) Starring Bruce Le, Dragon Lee, Bruce Lai, Bruce Thai, Jon T. Benn, Bolo Yeung-Tze Directed By Joseph Kong

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery then I guess that answers the age old question of how much flattery it takes to beat the shit out of an army of grass chewing bronze men … Ha! That’s right, three times as much! It’s 1977 now, a year after both of our previously reviewed films, and I guess a year is all it took to suck dry what little integrity there was left to begin with in Bruce Lee exploitation cinema. Bruce Lee is dead and an urgent call is placed by the SBI (that’s the Special Bureau of Investigations to all you civilians out there). They need the blood of Bruce Lee, and they need it fast… It’s kind of disturbing that the government was lying in the wings, waiting for Bruce Lee to die so they could implement this master plan, but I guess when the world is threatened by the evils of gold trafficking, noble sacrifices must be made. A mysterious man known only as “The Professor” is contracted by the SBI to synthesize three clones from the salvaged blood. The three Bruces all take turns wearing a salad bowl on their heads as the professor prepares them for training. He christens them Bruce Lee 2, Bruce Lee 3, and Bruce Lee 1 (in that order). Bruce Lee 2 and 3 (played by Bruce Le and Bruce Lai, respectively) begin their training by doing kung fu to the Rocky theme. This isn’t nearly enough so Bolo Yeung is called in to whip these fuckers into line. He teaches them all kinds of Bruce Lee stuff, like the 1 inch power punch before taking them on himself and pretty much destroying them. Now let me pause here for a moment to explain that after Bruce Li, the quality of Bruce Lee imitators goes downhill pretty fast. This is the second and third string we’re dealing with here, so now you can vaguely look like Bruce, but fight nothing like Bruce and still get away with it as long as you flick your nose every now and then. If Bruce Li was the Sears of Bruce Lee imitators than Bruce Le is definitely the Wal-Mart… and well, I guess that makes Bruce Lai the Dollar Tree. Anyway I think you get the point. While Bruce 2 and 3 presumably continue their training, Bruce 1 (Dragon Lee) is deemed ready for his first mission. The mission involves infiltrating the gang of the world’s most famous gold trafficker, who also produces kung fu films. Bruce 1 auditions and wows the film’s director, but the producer almost instantly pegs him as a secret agent and hires a couple of Caucasians to beat him up. They obviously haven’t been keeping up though, since everybody knows that if there’s one thing fake Bruce Lees love to do, it’s to beat up white guys… which he does with no trouble at all before deciding to eavesdrop on the evil filmmakers. He overhears the director explaining his evil scheme, to kill him in front of rolling cameras! The director continues elaborating before delivering the most unintentionally brilliant line in film history: “…we can capitalize on his death for years after this picture comes out!” Maybe I’m starting to feel the fatigue of fake Bruce Lee week over here at Silver Emulsion but I could have sworn that somewhere in the evil director’s film crew there was also a fake Jackie Chan and another Bolo Yeung, which makes no sense at all since they managed to bribe hire the real Bolo Yeung to train the Bruce Lee clones. I don’t know. Anyway, Bruce 1 ends up thwarting the on-screen assassination attempt and kicks the producer’s ass before he could escape on his boat with his gold-painted bricks. Whew! Think it’s over? Well, where most movies end, The Clones of Bruce Lee is just getting started. Clones 2 and 3 are now battle-ready Bruce Lees and are briefed on their mission. They are to fly to Thailand to meet up with their SBI contact that is played by none other than… Bruce Thai! What the fuck? Now if that wasn’t confusing enough, the dialogue feels the need to constantly remind us that Bruce Thai, although normally a Bruce Lee imitator is simply supposed to be a regular guy in this film, which is really silly. That’s kind of like hiring Samuel L. Jackson to play the white police chief in the remake of Shaft. Anyway, Bruce Le asks Bruce Thai to show him the sights and sounds of Thailand. He takes him to typical Thai fare, like a waterfront market. Which I guess is nice and all, but soon the two decide to don speedos and those big-ass Bruce Lee glasses and saunter on over to a beach full of completely nude women who apparently hang out all day dancing to public-domain disco music while rubbing lotion on their breasts. Bruce Lai meanwhile is back at the hotel where he finds an entirely different naked woman waiting to ambush him in his bed with a butcher knife! Turns out, she is an agent of Dr. Nai, the man who they were sent to Thailand to kill. Dr. Nai is securing plans for world domination by making drugs that turn people into bronze or some shit. Honestly I don’t think it matters. He injects the serum into a small army of soldiers before heading outside to test them for battle by having his cronies beat them repeatedly with lead pipes. Dr. Nai then laughs and makes more naked women dance for him. The three Bruces are no match for the bronze men, but opportunity strikes when one of the bronze men accidentally falls into a patch of grass and begins uncontrollably gnawing at it before passing out dead. As luck would have it, it turns out that Thailand is simply ripe with beautiful beaches, exquisite cuisine, and bronze man killing grass. Our Bruce Lees waste no time, tearing up handfuls of the toxic grass and force feeding it to Dr. Nai’s bronze army amid a chaotic frenzy of sub-par martial arts, saving the world once again from total domination. By this time, this film had gone above and beyond in delivering on every promise. You get three Bruce Lees (four if you count Bruce Thai, who if you remember isn’t really supposed to be a Bruce Lee), two separate adventures, and a staggering number of fights. I’m not kidding. There are over one thousand fights in this film. Add to the mix two mad scientists, an army of bronze soldiers, a bunch of naked Thai women, and Bolo Yeung. It is simply mind-blowing how much sheer lunacy and off-beat awesomeness is packed into the film’s slim running time. What could possibly be left for this film to offer? Oh man! The Bruce Lees could all fight each other! You see, for a man as elegant and distinguished as “the Professor,” a simple thank you from the SBI is not enough. You can save that petty shit for people who cure cancer. Bruce Lee cloners deserve a little more. The Professor decides to strike back by pitting his best Bruce Lee against the SBI. But first, fake Bruce Lee supremacy must be decided by having the three of them battle to the death. When the professor’s lovely assistant gets wind of this, she goes out to warn the Bruce Lees that he has completely lost it. The three of them fight their way into the professor’s laboratory to put an end to his madness, but not before the film’s requisite cannon-fodder, Bruce Lai, gets zapped to death by the professor’s death ray. Now wait, if the professor has a death ray capable of melting a Bruce Lee, then why did he go to great lengths creating Bruce Lees in the first place? Like many of the important questions this film poses, that is best left to the imagination. The Clones of Bruce Lee is a masterpiece of surreal filmmaking that possesses an almost zen-like quality. It’s fairly obvious the filmmakers had no clue where their film was headed and the stream of consciousness style of filmmaking is almost soothing to behold. This is a film worthy of your attention, but if you think it couldn’t get wilder than this then just wait until you see what we have in store for you next time as we bring our Bruce Lee exploitation extravaganza to a close. [Editor's note: Once again, some of these images come from the excellent Clones of Bruce Lee website. If you enjoy these Bruce Lee clone films, then it should be your primary information source.]

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Silver Emulsion — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:54:38 +0000

A Fork in the Road (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:55:36 +0000

A Fork in the Road (2009) Starring Jaime King, Josh Cooke, Missi Pyle, Daniel Roebuck, Silas Weir Mitchell, Rick Overton, William Russ Directed by Jim Kouf Expectations: Low. The trailer looked awful, but I gave it a shot.

I took a chance on this movie. I watched the trailer for it a long time ago, probably a year back, and thought it looked horrible. It was obviously shot on video and from what I remember of the trailer there were a lot of people yelling at each other. I generally would have written this movie off immediately as a Coen Bros. rip-off but when I saw it on Netflix Instant and I was in a forgiving mood, I decided to give it a go and put all of my preconceived notions aside. Surprisingly, I'm not sorry that I did. A young child hangs out of a car window, playing with a fork. He drops said fork and where does it land? Well, dear readers, it lands in the road. Along comes a police cruiser transporting the convict Will Carson. It hits the fork in the road, flips and Will makes his escape. He hides out in a barn and notices some suspicious behavior at the house across the way. A woman drags a man's body out of the house and struggles to put him into the trunk of a car. From here, as you can probably guess, hijinks ensue. The filmmakers are definitely going for that dark comedy vibe of the Coen Bros., specifically Fargo with a dash of Raising Arizona. It's only slightly successful, as the comedy isn't all that witty or even funny for that matter. It's not horrible, but it's just not that funny to me. Next to the Coen Bros. this is awful, but as the Coens are making some of my favorite films, it's unfair to continue to hold this film to those standards. For some reason though, I still found myself involved and wondering what was going to happen. There was just enough oddness in it to keep me mildly interested. The acting is passable and seems to get better as the film moves on. The first thirty minutes or so consists of Jaime King and Josh Cooke yelling at each other in various locales, which gets old fast. I realize that conflict is the meat and potatoes of screenwriting, but c'mon. I could tell that a lot of this was written and played for laughs, and I could see someone laughing at it, but that someone wasn't me. It ain't all bad though, there are definitely some good jokes and situations to be had overall. I had an overwhelming feeling a few times in the film that I was watching a TV show. I can't put my finger on exactly why, but there were definite moments when all the forces collided and the feature film feeling fizzled out of the room. Most people probably won't care or notice this, but as someone that hates virtually every scripted show from the last ten years, this becomes a minor problem. My girlfriend said that as it dragged on, it felt like we were watching an episode marathon from the same show. Each new twist would open up and keep the film going longer than it needed to, feeling like we'd started a new episode. For being made on video, the film is surprisingly well shot. Made on location in the beautiful state of Montana, there are lots of great vistas and shots of mountainous terrain. On the other hand, there are also some inexplicably poor framed shots. If I had a DVD of the film, I'd make a capture to better illustrate my point, but since I don't, I will try and describe it the best I can. Imagine a shot of a country road. The road cuts through a desert, but not an arid Death Valley, cow skulls on the ground desert, more of a dusty plain with brush flowing in the wind sort of desert. In the background are the gorgeous mountains of Montana. Now imagine that the top of the shot just barely cuts off the tops of most of these mountains, and the bottom of the frame contains an imbalanced amount of road and desert, throwing the whole image off. Rule of thirds, man! C'mon! This happened maybe five or six times throughout the film and really annoyed me, while the rest of the film was very well framed. It's like someone hit the camera right before they started rolling, they shot what they needed, and no one noticed until they were back in the editing booth when re-shoots were out of the question. I'm probably being harsher than I need to be because I did kind of like this movie. It's too long, dragging from the middle on, but it does some things well enough for a fan of dark comedies to maybe give this a shot. I can't say that I recommend it, but I can't really tell you to completely avoid it. It's okay, but ultimately frustrating because there is potential for a good film here. Maybe a few more turns of the grindstone, honing that script to a fine polish would have helped elevate this film above its mediocrity. I read an interview with the director where he states that Hollywood isn't making the types of movies people want to see. While I would tend to agree with him, I don't know that he's filled the void with A Fork in the Road, but I definitely found it more enjoyable than a ridiculous Bruckheimer movie or something in that vein.

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 11:48:22 +0000

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Ghoulies (1985)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 12:33:46 +0000

Ghoulies (1985) Starring Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Michael Des Barres, Jack Nance, Peter Risch, Tamara de Treaux, Scott Thomson Directed by Luca Bercovici Expectations: Low.

Ghoulies, where do I begin? Uncle Jasper suggested that I continue in the 1980's "Little Monster" horror genre with this and I willingly agreed. I thought I was doomed. How can a movie with a poster of a Ghoulie (would that be Ghouly?) popping up out of a toilet with the tagline of "They'll get you in the end!" possibly be any good? I am happy to report that the film is as awful as I suspected, but it is equally hilarious. This is by far one of my favorite B-horror comedies. Ghoulies is pure delinquent fun of the highest order. This is an eighties movie through and through, and lest you forget, it contains many things only present in films of this decade. Things such as a house party where someone starts breakdancing, dudes wearing sweater vests, and a guy looking over his sunglasses at stuff. It brings me back to my youth when the Big League Chew was plentiful and absolutely no one was cooler or more badass than Mr. T. Anyway, Ghoulies! The title is a bit of a misdirection as the Ghoulies are present, but not the main focus of the film. They aren't even the main villain, but they are definitely the main source of enjoyment. This works to the film's advantage because it takes on a different formula than the tired, typical horror movie structure where the Ghoulies might chase people around and kill them one-by-one. Instead, we are treated to a warlock summoning Ghoulies to hang out with him and laugh at the camera. I'm getting ahead of myself again though. The film opens with some hyper close-ups of Ghoulie faces. Bam! Straight to the point. I like this movie already. A cult group, led by the warlock dude I mentioned above (in full, hooded regalia that includes a pair of horns and glowing green eyes), are going to sacrifice a baby. They get stopped because the baby's mother chickens out and another dude joins her cause and leaves with the kid. The credits roll and we jump forward twenty or thirty years. The grounds of the mansion where the cult lived are now overgrown and foreboding, but our young hero Jonathan (Peter Liapis), has recently inherited it and he's gonna fix up the joint! As you'd expect, his girlfriend warns him that she has a strange feeling about the place, but he soldiers on with his plans. He finds the cult leader's clothes and pentagram floor painting, so he does what any normal person would, he starts performing the cult's rituals. He manages to talk some of his drunken party guests into a summoning circle of power, but when it doesn't produce immediate results, everyone leaves pissed off and bored. After they've all exited, the circle pulses with light and the first Ghoulie emerges! I rewound this scene several times as it is singlehandedly a great effect and massively hilarious. The little monster's tiny roar as he solidifies will remain one of my favorite horror/comedy movie moments of all time. The Ghoulie also bears a strong resemblance to Station from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, so I've taken to calling this one Station. [caption id="attachment_501" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Snake Fetus"][/caption] From here you get a generic story of one man following in another's footsteps, only to fall into the same traps and ultimately doom himself. There's a bit of a twist but that's basically the story. The main Ghoulie summoning scene is an instant classic as well and the Ghoulies are one hell of a motley crew! Their designs were clearly based in part on animals so they are easily distinguished from one another. Even so, I gave them each an identifying name to make talking about them easier. First to emerge is the star of our show and the film's poster, Snake Fetus. He rises out of the fog and murky water like a Creature from the Demonic Lagoon or a Supernatural Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now. Next, the Troll Mole busts loose from under the Earth. Hanging out in a tree we have the Abominable Monkey Ghoul, who never wipes the "What the fuck?" look off his face for the entire film. Finally, also in a tree among a thick web cover, is the Batling Spider Ghoul who extends one webbed arm before folding it back to his chest like a miniature, grotesque Dracula. The continuity is odd with these Ghoulies though, as they clearly establish five Ghoulies but they usually only show four of them after this point. I'm left to imagine that Troll Mole decided the light was too harsh for his tender eyes and decided to burrow back underground. [caption id="attachment_503" align="alignright" width="300" caption="The Abominable Monkey Ghoul in its natural habitat."][/caption] So the Ghoulies are summoned but until they are ordered to act by the master, they can't do much but sit around and laugh at people or look confused. There are tons of great Ghoulie reaction shots without dialogue that are ripe for a good Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. These shots are some of the best, funniest moments in the film and a big reason why I enjoyed this so much. It's not until the end when the Ghoulies are ordered to attack that some slight PG-13 killing happens. [caption id="attachment_520" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Even Ghoulies enjoy the finer things."][/caption] One of my favorites is when this guy bends over the fountain and Snake Fetus emerges and attacks his face, with the entire Fetus clan providing moral support from the pond. I love how they calmly relax and watch their boy do what he does best, before one of them makes the leap to the next victim's face. I wasn't disappointed with the lack of gore here, the hilarity of the Ghoulies more than makes up for it. The film lost me a bit during its final act containing the big villain confrontation, but despite that I had an absolute blast watching this horrid, wonderful film. It has left me with such a warm feeling, I'm actually gonna drink the Kool Aid and watch Ghoulies 2. I don't expect that one to be anywhere near this enjoyable, but hopefully it'll prove me wrong. [caption id="attachment_521" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Station Ghoulie doesn't want to see the sequel."][/caption]

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 12:27:11 +0000

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Uncle Jasper reviews: The Dragon Lives Again (1977)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 13:00:13 +0000

The Dragon Lives Again [ 李三腳威震地獄門] (1977) Starring Bruce Leong, Shin Il Lung, Eric Tsang, Alexander Grand, Siu Tien Yeung Directed By Lo Ke

Oh man, do you remember that time when Bruce Lee fought Chuck Norris in the Roman Coliseum? Yeah, that was great! How about when he beat that guy with the claw on his hand in that hallway full of mirrors? Classic stuff! Yes sir, that guy was a true legend. Hey, that reminds me of another one… do you remember that time Bruce Lee went to hell, confessed infidelity, fought James Bond and the Exorcist, made friends with Caine from Kung Fu, and helped Popeye beat a bunch of mummies? Hi folks. My name is Uncle Jasper and I am a film critic. Sometime after the death of Christ and before the dawn of the Reagan Empire, some Chinese guys got together and made a movie called The Dragon Lives Again. This remarkable documentary attempts to chronicle the years following Bruce Lee’s death and his adventures in hell during that period. The film goes to great lengths to convey to the viewer the size of Bruce Lee’s gigantic cock, and includes a heartfelt, personal apology to his wife Linda for all the years of banging hundreds of women with said cock. No I am not on any stimulants or barbiturates. No I am not making any of this up. There is a movie out there, existing among you and I where Bruce Lee dies, goes to hell and fights a shape-shifting woman who creates the first erectile dysfunction drug. He teams up with Popeye, The One-Armed Swordsman, and Kwai Chang-Caine to protect the king of hell from being overthrown by The Godfather and his army of ragtag movie icons. Clint Eastwood (as The Man with No Name) and Dracula are in there, as well as Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman and 70’s euro-porn superstar Emmanuelle. Forget about all that crazy shit you read in my previous reviews… In the lexicon of cinematic weirdness, The Dragon Lives Again sits near the top, if not on the throne. In The Dragon Lives Again, one sees Bruce Lee exploitation taken to it’s most decadent and self-indulgent extremes. Bruce Leong, who looks absolutely nothing like Bruce Lee, is actually pretty fun to watch in the lead role despite his lack of martial arts skill. The film itself is all over the place. Adherence to continuity and coherent storytelling obviously was not a priority here. In fact, it makes The Clones of Bruce Lee look like Wuthering Heights. I gave up even trying to find a plot about 20 minutes in and just settled for the raw, visceral impact of the strange imagery. Seconds before the average human brain begins hemorrhaging I think it sees scenes from The Dragon Lives Again. I still can’t really piece it all together myself. I know Bruce Lee came back to life and there were guys wearing big horse head masks. I remember Bruce fighting Dracula and a bunch of guys in Cobra Kai skeleton suits. I know the Exorcist convinced Emmanuelle to murder the king of hell through intense and prolonged orgasm. These things I am certain of. Yet I can’t help but accuse my obviously disturbed subconscious of cooking these things up. I guess that is a testament to this film’s borderline psychological effect on the viewer. The line between the movie screen and the therapist’s chair becomes blurred and pretty soon you discover that ugly and long repressed link between Bruce Lee dick jokes and sex with your mother. Regular visitors may remember not too long ago I reviewed a film called My Young Auntie. You may recall I had a serious problem with a particular party scene that was so beyond the realm of cognitive thought that I unfortunately had to pan the entire film. That was 10 minutes. Imagine that shit going on for 90+ and that will pretty much diagnose the gradual decent into madness and sudden loss of basic motor skills that this film spurred... Somewhere after 20 minutes chronic fatigue begins to set in. After 45 you become delirious and prone to hallucination. When it’s over and done with you find yourself a crooked heap of bone and flesh-jelly.

I forgot to mention, Popeye is played by Eric Tsang, a legitimate actor. I mean didn’t he win multiple Hong Kong film awards or something? He must be shitting himself on a daily basis knowing that somewhere out there, this film has been slowly filtering out to the general public through bargain bin Bruce Lee DVD collections and 9^th generation pan-and-scan VHS tapes. A lot of people out there harbor some pretty deep secrets, but I’m sure Eric Tsang would almost wish he got caught furiously jacking off in the handicapped stall of a junior high school girl’s bathroom rather than have his contemporaries witness his stellar turn as Popeye in this bizarre piece of shit.

Think you’ve seen it all? I simply dare you to see this film and make that claim again when you’re finished with it. This happens to be one of the worst directed, acted, edited, written and put together films I have ever seen, yet you cannot take your eyes off of it. In that sense it’s kind of like a three-legged monkey… or at the very least a Dracula-spawned Cobra Kai. I hope you enjoyed our fake Bruce Lee film festival here at Silver Emulsion. Although you will definitely see more Bruceploitation reviews here in the future, I’ll be back to reviewing just plain old movies that have absolutely nothing to do with Bruce Lee again on Monday.

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 19:24:44 +0000

The Road (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 19:52:07 +0000

The Road (2009) Starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Michael K. Williams, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron Directed by John Hillcoat Expectations: Very high.

I've been looking forward to this movie for way too long. My mind-hype was allowed to fester and there's no way that the film could have lived up to that kind of expectation. It was originally slated to release late 2008 but got pushed back a few times, ultimately releasing over a year later in November 2009 to a limited number of screens. Whenever a film is pushed back to this degree, I always get apprehensive about its worth, but in this case it seems that the delay was more for post work and to (unsuccessfully) optimize Oscar potential, so I still expected it to be great. The film is based on the Pulitzer prize winning Cormac McCarthy novel of the same name, but as I haven't read it yet I can't offer any sort of adaptation notes. The story follows the journey of a man and his boy in a world devastated by an unnamed catastrophe. There isn't a defined plot other than the standard apocalypse fare of "Let's get to the coast, I hear it's OK there". This works for the film as the point of it all is to examine the father/son relationship during an incredibly tough time where survival and primal instincts are the only constants. The father (Viggo Mortensen) struggles to keep himself and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) alive and away from the other survivors. As the apocalyptic events wiped out most life on Earth, including plants and animals, most people have resorted to cannibalism of those weaker than them. This is established at the opening of the film as Mortensen is forced to kill a man and he later finds his head and entrails under an overturned truck. This is very much an actor's film. Charlize Theron plays Mortensen's wife and while she isn't in it much, her scenes are some of the best in the film. Robert Duvall has an excellent, almost unrecognizable cameo as the old man they meet on the road. The focus here is almost entirely on the pair of Mortensen and Smit-McPhee though, and the acting from them both is excellent throughout the entire film. They are completely believable as father and son and they both handle their character arcs skillfully. The film raises some interesting questions as Mortensen slowly loses touch with reality as the day-to-day struggles become too much for him to bear. I had hoped for the film to delve deeper into this struggle but it was kept fairly subtle and more up to the viewer's interpretation. Generally I enjoy that sort of thing, but I thought just a bit more hand-holding would have made the film better and easier to digest. Once again, the film's music score disappointed me. It was too sweeping and overly sentimental and I feel that the harsh environment would have had more impact if it were left to speak for itself with its haunting silence. Ambient sound should have been an integral part of the film, but except for a few key moments it seemed to take a back seat to the sappy music. The music itself isn't bad, just personally I feel it was the wrong scoring choice for this type of film. I wasn't overly impressed with it, but overall I did like The Road. Possibly if I read the book and re-watched it I'd like it more. The filmmakers seemed to have taken on a bit of Cormac McCarthy's minimalist style, but unlike the Coen Bros's adaptation of No Country for Old Men, it works to the film's disadvantage here. It's well shot for the most part, but the slow, muted nature of the film will leave lots asking what the point of it all was. I'm okay with that myself, but I feel that the film could have been better. I'll have to read the book and see how the story plays out on the page.

crazy_heart_poster

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 12:41:22 +0000

Crazy Heart

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 12:48:09 +0000

CRAZY HEART

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 12:48:49 +0000

Crazy Heart (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 13:52:21 +0000

Crazy Heart (2009) Starring Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell, Robert Duvall, Jack Nation Directed by Scott Cooper Expectations: High.

Crazy Heart tells the story of Bad Blake, an alcoholic country singer played by Jeff Bridges whose career is on the decline. We enter his life as he pulls into the parking lot of his next gig, a bowling alley. The last time I saw Bridges at a bowling alley were the final moments of The Big Lebowski, so this was a nice place to start the film for me. I'm sure it wasn't lost on a lot of other viewers as well. He eventually meets up with a young reporter (Maggie Gyllenhaal) and strikes up a friendship. The heart of the film lies within this relationship. Maggie Gyllenhaal has never looked more beautiful on-screen than she does here and she displays a deep talent for creating a believable character. I was shocked to learn that this is the début feature from Scott Cooper. It is a very well made film with crisp, beautiful cinematography. The film is set all across the American Southwest and it looks gorgeous. The wide, expansive landscapes made me long for a good road trip and the bar interiors perfectly captured the heartbroken neon feeling that local bars always gives me. I look forward to what he comes out with next, because if it's as well shot as this was, it'll be something special. A good portion of my enjoyment of this film hinges on the fact that I love the brand of country music they're portraying here. Real, honest, outlaw country, the kind made famous by the likes of Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash. Jeff Bridges perfectly captures the essence necessary to pull off this type of character and he makes it look natural and easy. He also handles the singing duties beautifully. There is never a time when you don't believe that Bridges is Bad Blake, never a scene that rips the curtain from the façade. He is helped greatly by having a wonderful batch of Bad Blake songs to sing, most co-written by the always impressive T-Bone Burnett. The man knows how to write a song and the songs of Crazy Heart are some of my favorites of his. As Bridges says in the film, the best songs sound like you've heard them before, and any of these songs could have been lost gems from one of country's greats. That being said my favorite song from Crazy Heart, one called Fallin' and Flyin', wasn't written at all by T-Bone. I found the Oscar-winning song The Weary Kind to be one of the weaker songs, but that might have been because of how it was presented in the film, raising my expectations. In addition to the originals, the soundtrack is also peppered with genre standouts from artists such as Townes Van Zandt, Buck Owens and Lightnin' Hopkins. The only thing holding the film back is its slightly formulaic story that doesn't surprise much. Valid comparisons have been made to The Wrestler, but don't let that discourage you. As much as I enjoyed The Wrestler, Crazy Heart is a much stronger film and has a completely different tone. Both films are variations on the same theme, so if you enjoy that sort of thing you're in luck. A good double-feature pairing resulting in lengthy discussions over 2 a.m. coffee at Denny's. The routine story isn't a huge problem though, as watching Jeff Bridges do his thing was more than enough to keep me interested in the story. To be fair though, I thought the film was heading one way and it ended up going slightly different, so I guess I can't fault it too much for not surprising. It does drags a bit here and there, but not enough to be a major factor. Surprisingly, the child in the film (Jack Nation) was good and didn't annoy me. So often kids in films ham it up for cheap laughs and drag films down, but his character of Buddy was well-played and added a lot to the film. Also there's a lot of music performances throughout the film, which I really enjoyed, but this could get old if you're hating on the music. As I said before, the film is a real treat to look at, with rich, colorful interesting shots and a host of great performances. I highly recommend this if you enjoy character driven dramas and country music.

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Silver Emulsion — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:45:51 +0000

413480.1020.A

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:59:55 +0000

Mini-Review: Sid and Nancy (1986)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 13:07:22 +0000

Sid & Nancy (1986) Starring Gary Oldman, Chloe Webb, David Hayman, Debby Bishop, Andrew Schofield Directed by Alex Cox Expectations: Low.

I wasn't expecting much going into this. I liked the film, but I found it a bit on the boring side. Gary Oldman is fantastic as Sid Vicious, the definite star of the show. That's also part of the problem I had with the film though, as he outshines nearly every other actor in it. He seems to embody not just Vicious but the punk ethos itself, while the majority of the rest of the cast looks like they're playing dress-up at punk rock school. I'm probably being a bit biased here, but I couldn't get past it while watching the film. Chloe Webb is pretty good as Nancy but she does get pretty annoying. I suppose that was part of the point though, so I can't complain too much. The film showcases the relationship of Sid and Nancy and seeks to give Sex Pistol fans an insight into their world. I'm just okay with the Pistols (personally I'm much more into The Clash), and I was okay never knowing anything about them. Obviously that doesn't make me the target audience here, but I still liked it well enough thanks to the wonderful Oldman performance. Many people involved with the Pistols, including Johnny Rotten, have spoken at length about how inaccurate the film is, that no one should watch it, etc. I don't have a clue what is true or not, but regardless, it tells a believable version of the tale. For me the film was on the borderline of okay and good, I kept jumping back and forth between 2 and 2 1/2 stars, but ultimately I decided that as the days moved on after watching this, the images in my head did not. Watch it if you enjoy Gary Oldman and want to see his breakout performance. It was shot by Roger Deakins too, so it looks pretty nice. As a side note to all the Oldman fans: I'd also recommend Stephen Frear's Prick Up Your Ears. It's a very good film from the same time frame featuring a great Oldman performance and also starring Alfred Molina. Coincidentally, my colleague Dan the Man has also recently watched this one and has got some thoughts up. Go check out his take on it!

wild_angels

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:04:20 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:05:48 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:06:44 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:08:01 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: The Wild Angels (1966)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:16:30 +0000

The Wild Angels (1966) Starring Peter Fonda, Nancy Sinatra, Bruce Dern, Diane Ladd, Buck Taylor Directed By Roger Corman

Man, I don’t know what to say about The Wild Angels. Whereas most B-grade biker movies tend to glorify their subject matter, this film does anything but. Being that this movie marked the beginning of the outlaw biker genre, comparisons to Easy Rider are going to be unavoidable, but this film really shares little in common with that film. Instead of a couple of freewheeling drifters, we are dealing with an unruly mob of Hells Angels. And boy are they a bunch of assholes. Peter Fonda is “Blues”, leader of the gang’s San Pedro chapter. He meets up with fellow member “The Loser” (Bruce Dern) at his day job as a construction worker. Apparently The Loser’s bike had gone missing weeks earlier and Blues has tracked its whereabouts down to some dusty desert crossroads called “Mecca”. The gang takes a day trip down to the small town before concluding that the bike is hidden away in a tiny Mexican chop shop. Now whether it actually is or not is beside the point. The Angels are mean and ugly and are gonna kick the shit out of these Mexican guys regardless. Amidst a pretty chaotic fight over mariachi music, some highway patrolmen kick down the door and attempt to break up the ruckus. The Angels flee… all except for the Loser, who jumps on the nearest police motorcycle in order to escape. He is chased down by the other officer as the two speed along precarious hilltops before The Loser is shot in the side. The officer loses control shortly after, flying off a cliff as The Loser hits the pavement, blacking out in front of a police roadblock. Meanwhile, the other Angels, never doubting their comrade, assume that he made it safely away. They set up camp in a palm-lined desert oasis and begin partying. In an extended scene, the viewer is treated to a mishmash of silly-ass Hells Angels hijinks. You have women bullfighting motorcycles in their underwear, grown men chasing bunnies around in bushes, and bikers jousting around in the sand with palm branches. It really is a pretty pathetic scene as the Angels act like a bunch of rowdy, unsupervised Muppet babies… And I’m sure Sonny Barger is somewhere out there, reading this review, cursing me and rubbing his thumb along the edge of a sharp blade because I just compared his gang to a twenty-year-old Saturday morning cartoon. Anyway, it isn’t until a guy starts huffing down ether that Blues draws the line and puts an end to the party by knocking the dude out. Later, The Angels get wind that The Loser is in the hospital on life support. Deciding that they are much better trained to deal with his life-threatening emergencies than a bunch of medical brass, they decide to sneak in and spring him. Blues’ Girlfriend Mike (Nancy Sinatra) poses as The Loser’s wholesome, middle-class sister and unlocks the doors so the rest of the guys can break in, rape a black nurse, and wheel The Loser off to safety. Not surprisingly, The Loser isn’t doing so well back at home, so the Angels throw him down on their finest swastika’d linens, gather around and listen to his dying wish. “I just wanna get high.” They pass him a doobie, he puffs, and dies. In what has to be the highlight of the film. Plans are laid out for The Loser’s funeral. The Angels gather in a quaint little church in the woods. A very uncomfortable preacher makes his way down the aisle before taking the podium to deliver his sermon. He is not two sentences in, when a very distraught Peter Fonda tells him essentially, to stick all that preachy Jesus stuff up straight up his establishment ass. What follows is a masterfully orchestrated but completely depraved party sequence. The Angels sink to horrific lows as they completely destroy the church by tearing up pews while carving swastikas into the walls and beating the preacher unconscious. Angels break out cartons of beer and whiskey as they crank up the debauchery in a frenzy of congas and go-go dancing. Gallons of alcohol fly through the air as The Loser’s corpse is yanked out of his coffin and posed amusingly, Weekend at Bernie’s style. Meanwhile carnal bikers take turns drugging and raping The Loser’s wife behind his casket. 45 years after it was originally filmed, this scene still shocks. Roger Corman’s camerawork is functional and effective here, although I’m having a hard time understanding the point of the film itself. It is a pretty ballsy and accurate depiction of the Hells Angels, especially considering the time it was filmed. If it was Corman’s intention to de-glorify the notorious gang, then on that front it succeeds remarkably. They really come off as a bunch of depraved animals with zero respect given, and none received in return. For all their bitching and moaning about "Just wanting to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by the man” they sure like to draw tons of heat upon themselves by fighting and raping their way from town to town. For reasons I’ve never really been able to put my finger on, the Hells Angels were fascinated with swastikas, the iron cross, and other miscellaneous Nazi horseshit. And this film does not shy away from it in the least. They are virtually everywhere in this film, on walls, on helmets, across beds, draped over coffins, and even in the main title of the opening credits. I don’t know if this was a creative decision on Roger Corman’s part to further drive the viewer into an even deeper disgust of the Angels, but it is very effective in doing exactly that. Listen, I love badass, hog-riding rebels as much as anybody. But don’t go into this film expecting any new anti-establishment heroes to look up to. The Angels in this film are just plain disgusting and anything but respectable. This definitely is one of the classics of the outlaw motorcycle genre, even if it does stray from the typical formula a bit.

dolls_poster_02

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:16:29 +0000

Dollsposter1987

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:17:55 +0000

bscap0033sg0

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:18:59 +0000

Dolls (1987)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:57:19 +0000

Dolls (1987) Starring Stephen Lee, Guy Rolfe, Hilary Mason, Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy Gordon, Cassie Stuart, Bunty Bailey, Carrie Lorraine Directed by Stuart Gordon Expectations: Low. I didn't know this was Empire International before I started watching it, otherwise I would have expected more initially.

With Dolls, I'm continuing my trek through the Empire International/Full Moon catalog. My girlfriend, after watching Ghoulies with me, felt a strong urge to re-watch this film which she had seen as a kid. As the credits began to roll and I saw Empire and Charles Band's name, I immediately knew why she was compelled to re-watch Dolls. The power of the Full Moon had struck once again and she was powerless to do anything but watch this again. On the strength of Ghoulies I knew that I wanted to watch more of these films, but I had not expected Dolls to be one of them. I love it when a plan comes together. I happened to post my review of Ghoulies last Tuesday and now with this on Tuesday, I'm thinking of making every Tuesday for a while dedicated to Empire International or Full Moon films. I was trying to think of a snappy name for the day, but all I could come up with was Terror Tuesdays or Tuesday Trash. If anyone can think of something cool, let me know. Anyway, look forward to more of Charles Band's brand of horror. Dolls does not live up to the bar that Ghoulies set in my head. I still enjoyed this a great deal, it's just not nearly as well made or fun as Ghoulies was. With that out of the way, let's get down to business. Dolls opens with a girl named Judy riding in a car with her dad and stepmother. The parents here are downright evil and verbally abusive to little Judy. While a normal, well-adjusted person might be offended by their insults, I simply thought to myself, "Hmm, I hope they're doing what I think they're doing... setting these bastards up for some seriously gratifying death scenes!" The car breaks down and they all start hoofing it down the road in the pouring rain. At one point on this trek for reasons I don't recall, the stepmom throws Judy's teddy bear into the woods. The scene that follows is pure gold. The teddy bursts out of the trees, now actual bear size, and starts attacking the parents. Soon the teddy bear begins to tear and what's underneath the bear suit? A fuckin' gnarly looking werewolf bear creature that just annihilates the girl's guardians. Or so she wishes. The stepmom breaks the girl's concentration and her fantasy goes with it. Oh well. These people were so bad that they deserved two death scenes I guess. Works for me. [caption id="attachment_593" align="alignright" width="300" caption=""My God, the kid was right! The little people...they're fucking dolls!" - My favorite line from the film."][/caption] The travelers happen upon an old mansion and seek refuge with the old couple living within. Soon other people caught in the rain come to the house and populate the kitchen. Just like that we have our requisite odd cast of characters that will be killed throughout the night. The longest night in the world! The rest of the film gets pretty boring until the actual death scene of the stepmother. I won't spoil it but suffice it to say that no less than ten dolls come to life and mutilate her in all kinds of painful ways. There's virtually no gore, but at the same time it's incredibly violent. I think I said "Oh shit!" about twelve times in the space of this forty-second scene. I generally measure my enjoyment of gore scenes (or action/fight scenes) in the level of "Oh shit!" that was present and this one was off the chart. I loved it so much that it made up for any shortcomings the rest of the film had, and it has a lot. The acting is atrocious. The cinematography is passable and non-offensive, but nothing special. The effects are pretty good for the most part with the stop-motion dolls being the standout. I'm a huge fan of stop-motion and the dolls are as creepy as you would imagine. They move in a smooth, other-worldly manner that is absolutely mesmerizing. You cannot tear your eyes from them, they are beautiful and disturbing. The dolls also have a logic about who they kill that I just love. Like the Ghoulies before them, they aren't just mindless killers. So far I'm really loving these Empire International films. They might not be the best overall, but they are incredibly fun and entertaining. Just glancing at Charles Band's filmography, I can't get over how many of his films feature small protagonists. Ghoulies, Dolls, Puppet Master, Dollman, Demonic Toys... he's definitely got a thing for little monsters. So if you also have a thing for little monsters, he's your guy. Dolls is definitely not a film for everyone. It's pretty bad overall, so unless you love stop-motion or campy horror I would avoid it. If you do enjoy the trashier things in life, you don't need a recommendation from me. You've probably already seen it or queued it up for your next B-movie get together. Stay tuned for next Tuesday's review of Ghoulies II!

magicblade

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:57:58 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:06:31 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:07:19 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:08:21 +0000

The Magic Blade (1976)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:20:44 +0000

The Magic Blade [天涯明月刀] (1976) Starring Ti Lung, Lo Lieh, Ku Feng, Tang Ching, Ching Li, Lily Li Li-Li, Fan Mei-Sheng, Chan Shen Directed by Chor Yuen Expectations: High.

My expectations for this were just soaring after watching Shaolin Intruders. The two films have absolutely nothing to do with each other except that they're both Shaw Bros. pictures and Tang Chia choreographed the fights, but you could connect most any Shaw Bros. film with that logic. Needless to say, I was let down. The Magic Blade is an interesting movie as it doesn't really contain a magic blade. You might expect there to be one in a film titled The Magic Blade, but not in this film. There is the rather neato blade that Ti Lung uses throughout the film, but magic isn't exactly the adjective I'd use to describe it. It's on a harness attached to his arm that allows it to spin when he wants it to, but it isn't really used all that much in the film so don't get too worked up about it. This is possible magic blade candidate number one. Number two is where I'm placing my money though, as the film revolves around everyone trying to get a hold of it. The weapon in question is the mysterious Peacock Dart, a weapon so powerful that... well, I'll let them explain it. "The Dart when hurled, emits mysterious and beautiful rays, and the victim dies in a mysterious way." "And no one is immune to it." After which the dart is thrown, resulting in multiple explosions of light and smoke that very conveniently kill only the hero's enemies. No one is immune to movie logic either I guess. Anyway I don't mean to complain, that shit was fun to watch. The film opens great. A rich man (Lo Lieh) and his entourage enter Phoenix Town under the cover of night. The servants quickly set up a red carpet and a little stage and put on a dance performance for Lo Lieh. But not for long as the performance is interrupted by Ti Lung, who has come to face off in a duel to the death. They draw their blades and swing them in displays of power and might. These guys are so bad that when they do this, tree limbs and house shutters a hundred feet away fall to the ground cleanly sliced. If you can do that, you're pretty badass. This doesn't deter either fighter though and they begin their swordplay. Midway through the fight, a tree suddenly slides over to the fighters, bursts in two and another swordsman jumps out! Then two hands reach out from the Earth and grab Lo Lieh's legs! Pretty soon the two that had been fighting each other to the death are now faced off against Earth Evil and Wood Evil, who have come to slay them both! They didn't count on how badass these guys were though, as the Evils don't last more than about thirty seconds. Too bad, I enjoyed the Evil's shtick of busting out of stuff. After they are defeated we are treated to another great subtitle/editing exchange. [caption id="attachment_604" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Devil Grandma"][/caption] Ti Lung says, "Why do they want to kill you? Who are they?" and Lo Lieh replies, "Who cares? I only want to have a drink." Followed directly by a cut to a sign that reads "BAR." I laughed at this way more than I probably should have, but the editing here was just perfect. Anyway the two swordsmen realize that they must team up to find the Peacock Dart to defeat their mutual enemy, Mr. Yu. Out of the bar scene we are introduced to one of the minor baddies, the cannibal Devil Grandma. Can't go wrong with a Devil Grandma. She's one of the highlights and has a few good scenes throughout. For me this was a lesser Shaw Bros. film but it's still got that wonderful production value and raw talent that any film they made has. Personally, I didn't think the direction was as good as it could have been, but there's nothing terribly rotten about it. The fights are odd in that they are all so short and insignificant. There's a lot of little fights instead of a few big fights, and the little fights all seem to end just as they start to show signs of getting good. It's a shame as there's a lot of potential here for a great film. At one point, Mr. Yu rounds up five underworld assassins to kill our heroes. As you can probably imagine, each one has their own style and weapon, but as I said before, the fights are short so that you never really get to see them in action much. Also, the sound of the swords striking each other was different than the standard Shaw sword strike sound that I love. This was off-putting, but ultimately a minor complaint. I just enjoy that particular sound byte so much, I was sorry not to hear it. The last two fights are excellent fun but aren't enough to pull this out of being a mid-range film for me. At the end of the day, it's an average Shaw Bros. film that I enjoyed but am already starting to forget. Check it out if you enjoy films with a heavy dose of swordplay. Ti Lung is great in it as well, deflecting darts like a pro, so fans of his should definitely track this down.

inframan

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:49:58 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:54:01 +0000

43-A

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:56:04 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:56:26 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:57:08 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:58:11 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:59:57 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: The Super Inframan (1975)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:07:42 +0000

The Super Inframan [中國超人] (1975) Starring Danny Lee, Terry Liu, Wang Hsieh, Eddie Lam Man-Wai, Bruce Le Directed By Hua Shan

LASERS! EXPLOSIONS! PEW, PEW, PEW!!!!! This is a definite oddity in the Shaw Brothers catalogue. Every now and then the Shaw Studios would greenlight a project that had absolutely nothing to do with flying swordsmen, Shaolin monks, or rival kung fu schools. It didn’t happen often, but when it did the results were almost always amusing. You have unforgettable gems like their attempt at remaking King Kong with 1977’s Mighty Peking Man (expect a review of that one in the near future) and their genuinely twisted foray into the world of horror films with 1975’s Black Magic. The Super Inframan stands right alongside those wacky classics in what would be the first Chinese superhero film. Viewers will instantly recognize the inspiration drawn from old-school Japanese tokusatsu heroes like Ultraman in this one. You have epileptic-inducing transformation sequences, anatomically implausible rubber monsters, loads of 70’s transistor-laden techno babble, and lasers… a whole shitload of lasers. But this being a Shaw Bros. film you get the added bonus of Tang Chia choreographed kung fu fights, which although far from his best work, are actually the best you’ll probably see by a bunch of guys in 100 pound rubber monster suits. I hope you have your zanax on hand because this film is a veritable assault on the senses. Bright neon filters, firework-laden explosions, and piercing laserbeams are the norm here and make this film at times resemble a Gene Davis painting more than anything that has come out of the Shaw Studios. Add to that mix lots of fights between guys dressed in silver Evel Knievel stunt suits and the aforementioned army of rubber monsters (with names like Mutant Drill and Witch Eye), and you know you better have 911 on speed dial if you have a weak heart. When an evil, whip-crackin’ ice age princess named Elzebub awakens on Mount Devil (don’t bother trying to find that shit on google maps, I already tried) and starts raining hellfire and fury down on Hong Kong, a team of kung fu fighting science guys are called into action. The head professor calls his lead pupil, Rayma (played by The Killer’s Danny Lee) down into his secret lab to show him his lifelong work – the Inframan Project; a human volunteer with extraordinary abilities would be augmented with wires, capacitors, biological hormones and bionic implants to create the ultimate weapon. Without hesitance Rayma volunteers for the project and work begins. What follows is a simply awesome sequence detailing the transformation process as Rayma has all kinds of crazy shit clamped and wired to his arms and huge syringes of food coloring are squirted into his body. But Elzebub has some secret weapons of her own and let me tell you, once I saw all of these fucked up spider-lobsters, slinky-headed robot warriors, devil-horned hairball creatures, and tentacle-growing plant monsters I was nearly shitting my pants in pure ecstasy knowing that I would get to see Inframan fight each and every one of them. Too often, these films tend to skimp out on the monsters, instead hoping to dole them out over the course of several films. But not this time… there are literally at least a dozen of them, plus the requisite cannon-fodder henchmen. And the fights! Inframan is armed with exploding jumpkicks, solar rays, fire bomb darts, and thunder gloves which fly from his hands into enemies. The monsters have acid attacks, heat lasers, and deadly fire breath, and that’s just scratching the surface! I am a grown man and here I am, hardly able to contain myself. I could not even comprehend being a kid in the Hong Kong of the 70’s and going to see this movie on the big screen. I doubt girls, school, or Jesus would mean much at all to me after witnessing an experience of this magnitude. The Shaw Bros. are already well regarded for their beautifully detailed set design. This film features hands-down some of the best work they have ever done. I am a sucker for crazy-ass science labs, and this is by far one of the best I have ever seen. You have the obligatory wall of bright buttons and steaming test tubes, but you also get a cool rotating control panel and glowing orb things all over the place. The best is saved for Elzebub’s Mount Devil headquarters though. Her and the monsters pal around in a secret cave that resembles a hollowed out dragon head, inside are giant skulls and a serpent headed fountain that spills water into a steamy pool. And wait – who was that I saw? Yes, hot off the heels of our Bruceploitation film fest we have Bruce Le in a supporting role! The Shaw Bros at least had the class to let him fight without making him act like Bruce Lee, but that still didn’t keep them from naming his character Lu Xiao-Lung, an obvious play on Bruce Lee’s Chinese name of Li Xiao-Lung. You definitely can’t go wrong with this one. For those of you who admire the Shaw Bros for their kung fu films, be sure to add this one into your Netflix queue. You’ll find out soon enough that they were much more than a one trick pony.

Shutterislandposter

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:13:57 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:16:21 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:24:53 +0000

Shutter Island (2010)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:32:09 +0000

Shutter Island (2010) Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer, Max von Sydow, Jackie Earle Haley, Ted Levine, John Carroll Lynch, Elias Koteas, Patricia Clarkson Directed by Martin Scorsese Expectations: High.

Scorsese's first film back after winning Best Picture and Director for The Departed is Shutter Island, an adaptation of Dennis Lehane's novel of the same name. Much as I'd like not to say it, Scorsese's best films are behind him but Shutter Island is still leagues better than your traditional mainstream fare. His last truly great film was Kundun, a long thirteen years ago, and while Shutter Island doesn't even come close to its level, it shows that he still holds the power to make a good film. The story follows Teddy Daniels, a U.S. Marshall from Boston played by Leonardo DiCaprio, and his partner (Mark Ruffalo) as they make their way to Ashecliff Hospital. Their case is to find Rachel Solando, a patient that somehow escaped from her cell and has gone missing. I will leave it at that as a good portion of the fun comes from unraveling the mystery. Scorsese opens with a number of choices meant to evoke 1950s cinema. The opening on the boat is very obviously green screened. Since this is 2010 and I know that they can make it look better than that, I have to imagine that it was done as a stylistic choice. Scorsese loves his 1950s cinema, so it seems like something he would do. There's also a number of fast, blurring whip pans. The loud, menacing music reminded me of the scores of classic films, where the music was dramatic and a character unto itself. I loved the score and I was surprised to learn that it was all "found music," meaning that nothing was composed for the film. Robbie Robertson (of The Band fame) collaborated with Scorsese on the soundtrack and did a masterful job. While there are moments throughout that showcase this retro film aesthetic, it is mostly contained within the opening half hour in order set the film's tone. These extra touches blend perfectly and create a believable 1950s period piece. It gives the film the quality of being an artifact, something lost and now found. The acting is fantastic all around. You can't go wrong with the list of great actors present here, with Ben Kingsley and Max Von Sydow especially impressive in their roles as administrators of the mental health facility. The movie is very well cast, with the possible exception of DiCaprio. He's excellent in his role, but between the baby face and the half-grown scraggles he calls a beard, he's a hard sell as a seasoned U.S. Marshall. It's a testament to his power as an actor though, as despite all that, he pulls it off. He carries the movie completely but there's still an emotional disconnect between his character and the viewers, which ultimately sucks some of the wind out of the payoff conclusion. My main problem with the film is that it's just too long and meandering in places. At 137 minutes, it drags when it should thrill. I really liked this film, but it could have been excellent if it had been tightened up a bit. Writing about this movie is so frustrating because while I greatly enjoyed what worked about this film, ultimately I keep coming back around to the missed opportunities to should have made this film stand out completely and shine. This could have been the home run that Robert Redford hits in The Natural, right into the lights, with sparks and accolades raining down. Instead it's a triple that missed going over Fenway's Green Monster by just a couple of inches.

32067_taarezameenpar

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 13:36:58 +0000

Like Stars on Earth (2007)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 14:38:55 +0000

Like Stars on Earth [Taare Zameen Par (तारे ज़मीन पर)] (2007) Starring Darsheel Safary, Aamir Khan, Tisca Chopra, Vipin Sharma, Sachet Engineer, Tanay Chheda, M.K. Raina Directed by Aamir Khan Expectations: Moderate.

I've had this DVD sitting on my shelf for about two months. I kept putting it off because of its long runtime (165 min.) but when I finally put it in I found myself pleasantly surprised. The film slowly builds, introducing you to its world and by the end I was in love. It is incredibly multi-faceted but never feels stretched or forced. At its heart it is an uplifting drama, but it's also a musical that features sequences of claymation, traditional animation and even a bit of 3d animation. The film seeks to tell the story of Ishaan, a young boy who is having trouble keeping himself focused in school. He tends to look out the window and daydream more than actually study. He is an imaginative boy and the many forms of animation and art impart this to the viewer. The film reflects the colorful Indian culture beautifully, from flowing fabrics to intense watercolor paintings. Overall, the film is well-shot and nice to look at. There isn't anything about the cinematography that stands out all that much, but it does have a general high quality. This is the first true Bollywood production I've ever seen and it was fantastic. The music in the film is memorable and interesting. I could not get the music out of my head for days after I watched it, even humming the main theme to myself as I did something hard, subliminally associating the music with overcoming obstacles. I cannot think of any higher praise than that for film music. Yes, there's touching piano music but it is used well and there is an actual emotional connection and response underlying it so no complaints. It's a bit of a misnomer to call this a musical though because rarely does the cast actually burst into song. Most of the musical sections are extended montage sequences cut to original songs, but there are a couple of traditional musical songs. The music adds another dimension to the film that couldn't have been achieved without it. The acting is great from everyone involved. In his first role, Darsheel Safary perfectly captures the soul of the frustrated child and his struggles will pull at your heartstrings. The supporting cast is equally good, with Ishaan's parents and the boarding school teachers standing out from the crowd. I must single out Aamir Khan though. He plays the intuitive, new art teacher at the boarding school with passion and heart. When his character enters the film, it lifts the whole production up and he is a joy to watch. He's one of those guys that makes it look effortless. I had never seen him before, which was all the more impressive. After doing some research it seems that he is one of India's most famous and successful actors and it is easy to see why. Like Stars on Earth is also Aamir Khan's first foray into directing. He skillfully handles his duties and presents us with a film full of emotion, struggle and heart. The film is long though, you must be patient with it. You will recognize the root of Ishaan's problem long before anyone on-screen does, but when they finally do it is gratifying. Most of the film is focused on this uncertainty, the question his parents and teachers have of why he is doing so poorly in school. They both decide that it is because he is simply a bad kid, so he is sent off to boarding school which ultimately becomes the best thing possible for him. As I said before, the film might be too long, but it is so satisfying, rewarding and uplifting at its culmination that I can't imagine changing it. I don't know that I would have felt such strong feelings towards the film had I not gone on the entire journey along with Ishaan. It's nice to see a feel good film like this not strictly follow convention, but I wonder if a lot of impatient U.S. viewers will make it through the first hour or so to get to this place. I sure hope so. If you ever struggled in school, give this one a chance. It will whisk you right back to those tender, youthful days and make you appreciate and remember the power that teachers hold.

cover2

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 23:17:36 +0000

d4

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 04:48:09 +0000

this_film_is_not_yet_rated

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:09:59 +0000

Mini-Review: This Film is Not Yet Rated (2006)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 12:20:17 +0000

This Film is Not Yet Rated (2006) Starring Kirby Dick, Jack Valenti, Kimberly Peirce, Alison Anders, John Waters, Becky Altringer Directed by Kirby Dick Expectations: Medium.

This Film is Not Yet Rated looks to pull the tablecloth out from under the MPAA and expose their asinine film rating system. I am the choir this film is preaching to, I've been the guy complaining about the stupidity of the rating system for years. Therefore, this film didn't teach me anything new, but it does entertain for the most part. If you haven't noticed, films are rated arbitrarily and more for sexual content than for violence. This speaks to our generally conservative and sometimes backwards culture, where violence is more okay than sex for kids to see. This film is great for the uninitiated to see the rating practices of the MPAA. The film and its director, Kirby Dick, are a bit extreme in their methods of obtaining the information for the film, resulting in something that will play well to people of like minds, but won't necessarily sway combative viewers. It reminds me of Michael Moore's films in this way, albeit a lot less well-made. It is interesting but a bit too long, check this one out if you're in the mood for a bit of investigative journalism.

cover2

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 00:53:06 +0000

madman_poster_01

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:53:22 +0000

mad1

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:01:25 +0000

madman2

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:01:46 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Madman (1982)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:15:22 +0000

Madman (1982) Starring Gaylen Ross, Tony Fish, Harriet Bass, Seth Jones, Jan Claire, Jimmy Steele, Carl Fredericks, Paul Ehlers Directed By Joe Giannone

Forced to live in the shadow of Friday the 13^th since its original release in 1982, it only takes one viewing to realize that Madman is hands-down the superior film. Not to brazenly shit on the legendary long-running horror franchise, but there is a reason this obscure slasher film was gobbled up on DVD and went quickly out of print when Anchor Bay took a chance on its re-release a few years back. The same can’t be said for Friday the 13^th which still waddles away, buried deep in the $5 DVD bin at your local Wal-Mart™. Popping this disc in instantly takes me back in time to the horror aisles of old mom and pop run video rental shops of the 1980’s. Gone were the wall to wall piles of new releases that are found in most present day franchises. Hidden behind the sun-faded Freddy Krueger cutouts and below the thumb-tacked Toxic Avenger poster with its curling edges and scotch-tape repaired tears would lay rows upon rows of obscure, low-budget horror films. They were propped up meticulously in their shiny cellophane wrappers with that block of foam jammed inside the box to keep it from flattening. Every Friday visit to the rental store was like a treasure hunt. My dad would carefully float down the aisles grabbing pretty much anything that looked at least somewhat interesting. We would take home stacks of long forgotten classics like Chopping Mall, C.H.U.D., Night of the Demons, and Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2. Some of these films would be deemed worthy of second or third rentals. But I don’t think my dad rented any film as much as Madman, which probably saw more time playing inside our top-loading VCR than it did sitting on that shelf in the video store. In fact, we took that goddamn movie everywhere we went, bestowing upon friends and family its virtues of bloody axes hacking into faces, gnawed off noses, and brutal depictions of child murder. Yes sir it just wasn’t a Jasper family Christmas unless the kids were gathered around the big, wood-paneled TV, wolfing down ham and mashed potatoes while taking in repeat viewings of Madman. The film opens in familiar slasher film territory. Students and staff of the North Sea Cottages for Gifted Children sit around a dark campfire, telling ghost stories. The head counselor and old man of the group, Max, tells the local tale of a mentally disturbed farmer and the night he snapped, butchering his wife and kids for no reason before lying his bloodied axe up at the counter of the local bar and ordering a beer. The locals took the deranged killer into the woods, hanging him until dead. His name was Madman Marz. But never mention that name above a whisper or he will hunt you down. Well, campfire douchebag Ritchie uses this opportunity to not only taunt Madman Marz at the top of his lungs, but to throw a rock at his old cabin, shattering a window. I know what you’re thinking… God damn you Jasper. That is the most generic, bare-assed plot in the history of horror movies. You’re absolutely right. But the beauty of this movie lies in its simplicity. This film doesn’t rely on gimmicks to justify itself. What you have here is the slasher film stripped of all the bullshit spins and twists that would later flood the genre in the direct to video market of the late 80s. Madman Marz wasn’t a killer clown, a bloodthirsty dentist, or a psychopathic Santa Claus. He was a big-ass farmer with a big-ass axe, and that was that. It is the slasher film in its purest, most undiluted form – and it remains scary to this day because of that. A film snob will look at this movie and find five hundred things wrong with it.”The Acting is bad!” “This dialogue is awful!” “Why would that woman hide in a refrigerator?” The joke is ultimately on them though, because darling, the movie doesn’t care about any of that petty bullshit. Its only concern is delivering a heavy payload of blood, gore, violence, and chills. And there are few other films out there that deliver where it really counts as well as this one does. You want meat hook killings? Bam! We got that shit. How about car hood decapitations? Booyah!! We have you covered. OK guys, now how about some bare male ass? ……………. Yeah, I guess they could have done without that one. Director Joe Giannone takes a few liberties that keep the film fresh and interesting. I especially enjoyed the quick flash-forwards at the beginning of the film which show the demise of each victim around the campfire long before they actually end up getting the axe. Also it was a wise move to never show Madman Marz directly until the very end of the film, opting instead for moonlight silhouettes or close-ups of a gnarled hand or axe. It definitely helps play up the “elusive local legend” thing quite a bit and further perpetuates one of those undeniable truths of horror filmmaking… It’s always scarier when the audience doesn’t see the monster. When Marz is finally revealed towards the end of the film… well, the makeup could have probably been a little better. Truthfully, he looks like he could have been a stunt double from Harry and the Hendersons, but that’s just a minor grievance. And finally there is the classic theme song. I don’t think any horror film of the 80’s had a better theme than Gary Sales’ “Song of Madman Marz”. It is like the electronic driven, unholy union of Jethro Tull and Kris Kristofferson. It actually works its way into the film itself, as sung by one of the counselors, which is pretty awesome as well. If you’re in the mood for senseless murder, horny camp counselors, or axe swingin’ maniacs you could always watch that other film… or you could be a true original and give Madman a spin.

poster django4

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:09:37 +0000

Starting July 5th: A Fistful of Djangos!

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:16:47 +0000

Hey everyone, grab your cowboy hat and your gatling gun 'cause here at Silver Emulsion we're rolling out a two-week Django extravaganza! It will run Mon-Thurs starting July 5th and will continue the following Monday July 12th. The Django series isn't an actual series when defined by strict definitions, but like all good Italian films from that era, it spawned a gazillion clone movies that sought to capitalize on the first film's success. Uncle Jasper and I are going to tackle four films each, for an eight film, two-week look at this classic Spaghetti Western series. Check back soon for more details, including a schedule of the films we're taking a look at! It's gonna be Django-rific!

If you're excited about it as we are, feel free to post the banner image on your site!

ghoulies_ii

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:03:41 +0000

ghoulies2_1

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:20:33 +0000

ghoulies2_2

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:21:32 +0000

ghoulies2_3

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:22:11 +0000

ghoulies2_5

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:22:57 +0000

ghoulies2_4

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:23:39 +0000

Ghoulies II (1988)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:40:34 +0000

Ghoulies II (1988) Starring Damon Martin, Royal Dano, Phil Fondacaro, J. Downing, Kerry Remsen, Dale Wyatt Directed by Arthur Band Expectations: Low. There's no way this can live up to the first one.

Ghoulies II is a film working against the odds. The first Ghoulies is a cult horror/comedy masterpiece (if you go for those sorts of things) and generally sequels to such fare are always inferior. I am happy to report that Ghoulies II is an exception to the rule. When four minutes in there's a man with a groaning, wriggling sack over his shoulder being chased by three guys in blood-red satanist robes, you know you're in for something...might be special, might be shit, but it's definitely not gonna be middle of the road. Apparently these satanists summoned the Ghoulies and the guy with the sack is making off with them to kill them. He runs into a gas station garage and throws the whole bag into a steaming toxic waste barrel. I've never seen a toxic waste barrel spewing fog at my local garage, but this is Ghoulies II so we're just gonna go with it. Needless to say, the toxic waste has zero effect on the Ghoulies. They jump out and stop-motion their way over to a parked diesel rig. Soon, we're all on our way to the carnival via the truck carrying the Satan's Den attraction and our lovable Ghoulies. It should be noted that the Ghoulies here are slightly different from in the first film. Their puppets are more defined and better crafted, so they took a little while for me to get used to. Snake Fetus looks like he has grown up a bit, more of a Snake Boy or Snake Teen, but I'm not changing his name at this point. So anyway, Snake Fetus is a little bit older, a little bit wiser. Abominable Monkey Ghoul lost the WTF look on his face, but due to his better designed puppet I can see that they were trying to go for some sort of cat creature. Fuck it, he's the Abominable Monkey. The other Ghoulie I was calling Station has also benefited from a better puppet and it is clear that he is a rat, so due to his new acid spitting attack I'll rechristen him the Acid Rat Ghoul. Batling Spider Ghoul gets a lot more screen time than before, but he's still relegated to swooping past people or stealing something from their hands. There's also a new Ghoulie, one I call Dinosaur Frog Ghoul, that looks very similar to any random cast member from the 1990s ABC sitcom Dinosaurs. The Ghoulies take up residence within the Satan's Den attraction and start causing some havoc. The Ghoulies are more proactive in this installment, killing on their own without direct orders from a summoner. This results in a lot more ghoulish fun than the first part. One quick scene I really enjoyed was when one of the owners of Satan's Den, a retired carnival magician who's only magic trick left is to make bottles of whiskey disappear, states that, "The great fucking Fausto will perform one of the worst goddamn tricks in the history of phony-baloney magic! He will pull a rabbit out of his hat." Instead, he pulls out Snake Fetus and throws him against the wall in surprise. It's hilarious. As with any carnival based film, there's a great range of characters. One of the highlights of Ghoulies II is Phil Fondacaro's role of a Shakespearean midget actor who is stuck working in the carnival scaring children nightly in a gorilla demon costume. Yes, that's a gorilla demon costume. And just in case you forget that he's a bit shorter than the average Hamlet, conversations with him tend to be shot from a very high angle so that he's constantly looking up. Despite all this, he plays his role very well and is easily one of the best actors in the film. I remember first seeing him and enjoying his work when I was a kid watching Willow back in the day, so it's always nice to catch him in something I haven't seen before. My favorite moment in the film, by far, is when a couple of jaded kids enter Satan's Den despite thinking it's gonna be lame. Soon, Acid Rat Ghoul shows himself to them, elevating their lame experience into something truly unique. One of the kids whips out a ninja star of all things and throws it at him. Acid Rat Ghoul catches that shit in his teeth and chews it up! The only response to this is what one of the kids offers up directly after, "Holy shit!" The kids call in a bunch of people who cheer the Ghoulies on as they stuff a dude they just mummified into a casket... Good times! Such good times in fact that the Ghoulies celebrate by high fiving! Eventually, the Ghoulies decide they should leave Satan's Den, venturing out into the carnival at large. This becomes a non-stop Tilt-A-Whirl Scrambler of absurd fun and boy do the Ghoulies know how to have a good time. I especially enjoyed when the Ghoulies take over the shooting gallery booth and the Abominable Monkey shoots at Dinosaur Frog and Acid Rat. They playfully dodge behind the moving targets as their buddy shoots at them. The Ghoulies also make good on the promise of the first film's poster, by finally getting someone in the end via a toilet. I thoroughly enjoyed Ghoulies II. It was so much better than I expected it to be. All too often in horror movie franchises, the sequels have only a fraction of the inventive spirit and mystique that the original had. Ghoulies II smartly goes in a completely new direction with the tale, but one that still feels like a Ghoulies film. I can't decide if I like this one better than the first, they are both about as equally fun to watch. It's a joy to see the Ghoulies back on-screen and what the hell, let's watch Ghoulies III. [caption id="attachment_671" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption=""We did it! The sequel is good!""][/caption] Look for my write-up next Tuesday for the classic(?) Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College.

invictus-poster1

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:10:25 +0000

invictus2

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:16:45 +0000

invictus3

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:17:10 +0000

Invictus (2009)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:53:37 +0000

Invictus (2009) Starring Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, Patrick Mofokeng, Matt Stern Directed by Clint Eastwood Expectations: Low.

Another one I had been avoiding. I love Clint Eastwood, but I usually find his directorial efforts to be fairly slow and plodding. There are exceptions, but as a rule, his films are understated and meditative. This is fine, I'm just rarely in that kind of a mood so I tend to avoid his films unless I have a great interest in the subject matter. This was the case with Invictus, but I'm glad I dived in because this is a really good film. Morgan Freeman is the definite star of the show, inhabiting the role of Nelson Mandela with ease. Freeman is recognizable as both himself and Mandela in the role, skillfully blending the two personas into a memorable screen performance that never feels like one. He gives a powerful speech early in the film on why the team name should remain the Springboks, proving why Freeman received an Oscar nomination for the role. Matt Damon is also great in his scenes, but he tends to fade into the background as a lot of his scenes are without dialogue on the Rugby field. When Damon is on-screen, his subtle performance feels natural and believable. The film is essentially broken into two halves with Freeman leading the charge in the first half of the film, and Damon taking over once the World Cup action begins. As the film deals with the end of the Apartheid era, it is concerned with showing the cautious and uneasy integration of the black and white people of South Africa. Initially, they are at odds with the situation they find themselves in, obviously preferring the old to the new, fearful unknown. There are small scenes of friendship that get deeper and warmer as the film progresses. For instance, there's a scene towards the end where a young black child who could not get into the Rugby game inches up to a police car where two white officers listen to the game on the radio. At first they look at him with disgust and he sits far away on the curb. He slowly moves closer and closer as the game goes on until they all finally end up arm in arm out of sheer joy. This is all a bit eye-roll inducing, but the sentiment behind it is something the world would do well to aspire towards. If I didn't know this was a true story I don't think I would have believed it, but the fact that it is, is a testament to the power of sports to unite people of all walks to a singular cause. It's a shame that we can't unite over something that really matters, but one could argue that anything with this amount of power does matter. I don't think it's a coincidence that this film comes out now, with America having a newly elected black president who seeks to unite his people on common ground. Invictus is not an overly political film though. The focus is on the relationship between Mandela and the Springboks and the tone is feel-good. The story of the rugby games were all told through the camera and editing. This was a great touch. There was never an annoying announcer spouting off the score a million times, only shots of the players, a few scoreboards and reactions from the crowd and/or Morgan Freeman. It became obvious what was happening and who won if you are paying attention and it made the part of the movie that I was dreading, some of my favorite moments of the film. Also, as the games get more and more intense, with more on the line, the footage of them gets slower and slower. Slow-motion sports footage is nothing new, but it is done here with such care that it seems fresh. The rise in intensity versus the gradual slowing of the images creates a nice duality that works on a deeper level than if Eastwood has chosen to go louder and more bombastic. I'd never expect Eastwood to go that way, but you never know. The understated nature of the film works magic during these rugby scenes and really elevates them far higher than I ever expected them to go. I had no knowledge of the outcome of the big game as well, which really helped to make this film exciting and engaging. While the opening of the film is a little hard to grasp and comprised mostly of talking heads, patient viewers will find a feel-good film that excites as well as touches. It moves at a good pace after the opening and is one of the better films of 2009. Eastwood shows that his directorial chops are still present and I hope he continues to make film of this quality.

djangokill

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:19:13 +0000

10000bloodmoney

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:27:39 +0000

dontwaitdjangoshoot

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:28:08 +0000

sonofdjango

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:29:37 +0000

djangoandsartana

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:30:19 +0000

DjangotheBastard

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:32:00 +0000

djangokillssoftly

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:34:49 +0000

poster django

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 04:36:24 +0000

A Fistful of Djangos

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:06:02 +0000

A Fistful of Djangos is on! It's gonna be a rip-roarin' good time!

Note: During this Silver Emulsion film festival, my regularly scheduled Tuesday posts in the Empire International/Full Moon continuing series will be moved to Fridays.

WEEK 1:

July 5th, Monday:

DJANGO (1966)

[by Will]

July 6th, Tuesday:

DJANGO THE BASTARD (1969)

AKA "Django the Avenger" "The Strangers Gundown" [by Uncle Jasper]

July 7th, Wednesday:

DJANGO KILLS SOFTLY (1967)

AKA "Django Kills Silently" [by Will]

July 8th, Thursday:

SON OF DJANGO (1967)

AKA "Return of Django" "Vengeance is a Colt 45" [by Uncle Jasper]

WEEK 2:

July 12th, Monday:

DON'T WAIT, DJANGO...SHOOT! (1967)

[by Will]

July 13th, Tuesday:

DJANGO AND SARTANA ARE COMING...IT'S THE END (1970)

AKA "Django and Sartana... Showdown in the West" "Final Conflict... Django Against Sartana" "Sartana If Your Left Arm Offends, Cut It Off" [by Uncle Jasper]

July 14th, Wednesday:

$10,000 BLOOD MONEY (1967)

AKA "Guns of Violence" "$10,000 Dollars for a Massacre" [by Will]

July 15th, Thursday:

DJANGO KILL (1967)

AKA "Django Kill... If You Live, Shoot!" [by Uncle Jasper]

Future_Kick

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:31:28 +0000

futurekick06

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:32:33 +0000

futurekick01

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:33:03 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:34:00 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Future Kick (1991)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:43:04 +0000

Future Kick (1991) Starring Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Meg Foster, Chris Penn, Eb Lottimer, Al Ruscio, Jeff Pomerantz Directed By Damian Klaus

Before Hollywood discovered the Hong Kong film industry in the late 90’s we had to settle for the local stuff like Future Kick. Back then martial arts films were pretty much advertised by how many kickboxing championships or karate tournaments the lead actor had won. Most of the time, these titles were completely fabricated or taken totally out of context, but we didn’t care. Remember those trailers for Bloodsport and Kickboxer heralding the coming of Van Damme to the US as if it was like a visit from the pope? They threw out all kinds of bullshit spiel like “…nine time reigning karate champion of the world, Jean Claude Van Damme”. We loved it, but once Jackie Chan’s Rumble in the Bronx got its much belated release stateside, it pretty much opened the floodgates to a world of martial arts that America hadn’t seen since the heyday of Bruce Lee. Van Damme, Steven Seagal, and all of those slow white guys we once thought were awesome gradually disappeared from movie screens across America in favor of the new flavor. Don “The Dragon” Wilson was one of those guys. Future Kick is the kind of movie I would have snuck out of bed and stayed up late to watch on Showtime back in 1991. I would probably hang out with all the cool kids at the swing set the next day bragging about all the awesome reverse tornado kicks “The Dragon” did, all the cool boobs and strippers I got to see, and the guy whose head exploded all over the place, painting the wall with brain bits and bone splinters. When you are 12 years old you couldn’t beat that shit. Now I’m older and I have acquired a refined taste for subtler fare like Mexican Wrestling and Chinese Superhero films. As a martial arts film, this movie fails miserably on every level. After years of exposure to Hong Kong kung fu cinema nothing could prepare me for a trip back to the dark ages of martial arts movies, and the clunky slow-paced choreography of 80s / early 90s Hollywood fare was even worse than I initially remembered. I don’t know Don “The Dragon’s” merits in the martial arts world off-screen, but in front of the camera every kick and punch is so slow and telegraphed that it should be listed on the departures board at LAX. As a science fiction film however, this movie unintentionally soars! This film is so uncouth and overt in its attempt to force its heavy-handed dystopian / cyberpunk shtick so far up your ass, that you’ll be shitting giant TV screens and replicants for weeks. Best of all, this vision of the future is delivered in a one of a kind ultra-low budget style. See that pair of two dollar sunglasses? “…what sunglasses? This is my Cyberon visor!” OK, but why is that Intellivision controller glued to that big metal chair? “…what are you talking about man? That’s the death sport of the future, LaserBlade!” It’s this kitschy, budget imposed sci-fi world that gives the film all its charm. Believe me, I was ready to trash this movie like there was no tomorrow, but the gaudy cyber-cheese prevailed and eventually won me over. And all the hokey sci-fi drivel doesn’t stop there. This is one of those movies with the “we must get the disc that contains all of the valuable information on it” MacGuffins … it’s good to know that in the year 2025 the 3.5 inch floppy makes a stellar comeback. Also inadvertently hilarious is the virtual reality system which amounts to a broken pair of wraparound headphones and a blank CDR with the words “Virtual Reality System” stamped onto it. Really, the movie is so ripe and chalk full of this stuff that I can go on for days. The opening, Linda Hamilton-esque narration introduces us to a future where evil corporations and their android warriors, the Cyberons, terrorize the streets. The wealthy were rich enough to flee for the moon colonies, leaving Earth a rotting cesspool of violence and fear. Don “The Dragon” is one of the last “good” Cyberon warriors, and he is up against two “bad” Cyberons, played by Eb Lottimer and the late Chris Penn. I have no fucking clue who Eb Lottimer was, or if he even made any films after Future Kick. But he does use a knife with three blades on it to rip a bloody heart out of some posh executive’s chest, so all is forgiven. Chris Penn is the odd one out though. If I was the casting director for a badass sci-fi opus with karate android fights, then Chris Penn would be one of the last motherfuckers I’d consider. The editing does give him a pass though, despite the complete lack of fighting ability, and he does die in one of those ultra-cool (and ultra-80’s) “bad guy kicked into live electricity” slow-motion death scenes. Between the shitty dialogue and Don’s wooden delivery, it actually works to his benefit that he is cast as a robot here. This may be one of the few rare instances where utter lack of acting ability actually lends itself to a performance. Meg Foster is in here too, trying to add some credibility to the rest of the cast, but even then she’s just crying and reluctantly shooting guns for most of the film. This movie also stars a lot of strippers, like a whole fucking lot of them, like a stripper is in every other scene. Oh and gore!! Man, now this is where I was pleasantly surprised. Anybody can chop off a head and call it a day, but creative gore takes a certain je ne sais quoi that is hard to come by, especially in today’s CGI obsessed Hollywood. Let me just say that there is a scene where “The Dragon” decapitates a guy with a fire escape ladder… a fucking fire escape ladder! It completely caught me off-guard and had me reaching for the skip-back button almost instantly. The quality gore does not stop there either, we have the aforementioned bloody hearts, exploding heads, and overloaded squibs littered throughout the rest of the film. Future Kick is sublime entertainment hidden away under the guise of a generation-old, generic martial arts film. Never judge a book by its cover. That is the lesson for the day.

shock-corridor

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:30:20 +0000

shockcorridor1

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:35:42 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:36:18 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 13:36:50 +0000

Shock Corridor (1963)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 14:35:01 +0000

Shock Corridor (1963) Starring Peter Breck, Constance Towers, Gene Evans, James Best, Hari Rhodes, Larry Tucker, Paul Dubov, Chuck Roberson, Neyle Morrow, John Matthews, Bill Zuckert, John Craig, Philip Ahn Directed by Samuel Fuller Expectations: High. I've seen it before, about nine-ten years back, but now I like Sam Fuller a lot more.

I've previously stated my love for Samuel Fuller, so I won't repeat myself here. I had seen this film about nine years back and I liked it at the time but it was the first Sam Fuller film I had seen and it was before I knew anything about him. After watching Shutter Island, I had a burning desire to re-watch Shock Corridor, another film dealing with mental hospitals. Scorsese is on record as being a huge fan of this film, so I figured at some level he was influenced to make Shutter Island out of his love for Shock Corridor. After re-watching this, I can't say that there's any specific connection between the two, but it did make for an interesting pair of very different films. Fuller opens his film with a Euripides quote, "Whom God wishes to destroy, he first turns mad." It's a stark way to open a B-picture, but this is Sam Fuller we're talking about and he is all about putting the truth in our faces and letting us squirm in our seats as we are confronted by it. It is interesting to consider this quote against each character and how they ended up in the mental hospital. The quote exemplifies everything Fuller is trying to say within the film, so unlike a lot of quotes at the beginning of stuff, this one has real weight and power behind it. The film tells the story of a journalist, Johnny Barrett, who hopes to uncover the truth in an unsolved mental hospital murder and win a Pulitzer Prize with the resulting story. He trains himself to fool the doctors of the institution so that he can be admitted as a patient and observe from the inside. There were three witnesses to the crime and Johnny talks with each one over the course of the film. Each witness is a wonderful character, all played by great, unsung actors. Stuart, a man convinced he is a Confederate General, is played by James Best who was in tons of stuff, but I know him best from his work in a couple of Andy Griffith episodes. Hari Rhodes plays an African-American man who believes himself to be Grand Wizard of the KKK and displays a wonderful range and power in his performance. Finally, we have the excellent Gene Evans, star of many Fuller pictures, playing a genius who has reverted back to the mind of a child. These witnesses stand out as the highlights of the film. The setup of each questioning scene is a little too formulaic after you've seen one of them, but the scenes are all so good unto themselves that this can be forgiven. On a surface level, this isn't the greatest film. I prefer the other Sam Fuller films I've seen to this, but I still recognize how well done this is overall. Specifically, Fuller's use of sound in the film is excellent. One scene involves a character singing opera in the middle of the night. At first we hear only his voice, the sound we would hear if we were in the room with him. The camera focuses on Johnny, we are hearing what he is hearing. As the camera moves up to show the patient singing, the sound of a full opera with orchestra fills the soundtrack. The patient bobs his head with the thunderous music. When we cut back to Johnny, the opera jarringly drops out of the soundtrack and we are left with the ambient audio of the room again. Fuller skillfully illustrates what is going on not only in the actual room, but also what the characters are hearing within their own minds. He uses this technique again later on, with equally pleasing results. Without question there are some amazing moments and scenes contained here, but there's also some stuff that is a bit boring and slow as well. Specifically, there's a burlesque scene early on that seems completely unnecessary, but maybe I just missed the point. Shock Corridor is very well shot, but its B-movie roots will throw off a lot of viewers who are watching this simply because they heard it was great. One could argue though, that to only look at the surface of Shock Corridor would be missing the entire point of the film. Fuller is known for his distinct political views and his uncanny skill for working social commentary and subtext into his scripts. The main character and each of the witnesses represent something greater than a man in a mental ward. Our main character, Johnny, is an enterprising young man looking only to increase his place in life by winning the Pulitzer Prize. He cares nothing for solving the murder, except for the success it can give him. This reckless pursuit of success ultimately means his downfall. The three witnesses each represent a social problem afflicting the then current America. The sad thing about this is that forty-seven years later, the same problems are still evident in our society. The Euripides quote rings true throughout and Fuller's underlying assertion that these insane problems afflicting America are harbingers of its destruction, is still a plausible and relevant thought. Like Dr. Strangelove, it is a testament to the power and truth contained in the film, but is ultimately very disappointing because as a society we haven't moved any farther up the cultural ladder. Shock Corridor is not a film for everyone but it is a film that offers a lot to patient viewers. For me the film is greater after it is over, when I am left with only my fading memories and my thoughts on the haunting visions that Fuller has conjured up.

walkingtheedge_VHS

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 12:48:20 +0000

walkingtheedge

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:22:24 +0000

Walking the Edge (1983)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:51:52 +0000

Walking the Edge (1983) Starring Robert Forster, Nancy Kwan, Joe Spinell, A Martinez, James McIntire, Wayne Woodson, Luis Contreras, Russ Courtney Directed by Norbert Meisel Expectations: Moderate. It could have gone both ways, but I love a good revenge film.

I watched this movie for a couple of reasons. First, when I pulled the filmography of Empire International this was at the top of the list. From what I understand they distributed the film at some level, but seem to have played no part in the actual production. Charles Band is listed as an uncredited executive producer on IMDB as well. I'm not posting this in my Tuesday series though as it's not a true Charles Band picture and it will appeal to a completely different set of viewers. The other reason I watched it was Robert Forster. I must admit that I didn't know who he was until Tarantino's Jackie Brown came out, but I was immediately a fan. His subtle nature in that film was so charming and real that I've wanted to check out some of his older films ever since. Well, it took thirteen years but I've finally come around and done just that. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Walking the Edge is the type of movie that you'd see in the video store and would always walk past. It might catch your eye for a moment, but you never took it home despite thinking about it several times. There's nothing terribly special about it upon first glance, but it reveals itself to be a very competent and enjoyable revenge film. The setup is incredibly simple. The film opens in a house where a group of thugs, led by the great Joe Spinell, hold a woman (Nancy Kwan) and her son hostage. The thugs tell her that her husband is actually a drug dealer and that they're gonna kill him. When he arrives home, they do just that, but they also end up killing the son. Kwan runs out an open door in the confusion and escapes to take revenge on these insidious motherfuckers later on in the film. Robert Forster plays a cabbie who works for a bookie on the side. On one fateful day, Nancy Kwan hires his taxi and from then on they are intertwined in her revenge scheme. Forster plays the innocent, streetwise man with ease. The character is a bit of a loser and everyone around him knows it. Forster's portrayal elevates the film above its simple B-movie structure and makes you care about this guy. His character isn't exactly innocent though, as a man of the street he has the skills to get down to business when the shit hits the fan. As a side note, Forster in his youth here looks a bit like Charles Bronson, so with all the Bronson revenge films, I can understand why Forster would end up making these types of films. The film is much more well shot than I expected it to be. Filmed completely on location in Los Angeles, it's great fun for me to see the city I know so well circa the early 1980s. Every time I watch a film from this era I am reminded how much I love the cinematography in them. The cityscapes always looks so much more real than films nowadays, something I attribute to every modern film being digitally graded. In the days before computers reigned supreme, cinematographers had to get it right on set via lighting and technical know-how and it always seems like a cheat to me to be able to fix it later in a computer. I realize the benefits (just look at the Lord of the Rings series) but I would love to see a return to actual computer-free filmmaking. All tangents aside, Walking the Edge is a fun film. The main characters are compelling enough to care about and the villains are evil enough that you want to see them pay. What more can you ask of a revenge film? The score is also fantastic, if you enjoy the 80s sax/synth-driven music thing. It's not as action-packed as some other films, but it has an emotional weight that most B-pictures don't generally contain. When it does get going towards the end of the picture, the people who deserve to get theirs, get it good and it ends up being quite satisfying. If you're a Forster fan or just a revenge fan, check out this relatively unknown gem.

team-america-photo

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:26:20 +0000

Mini-Review: Team America: World Police (2004)

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:58:33 +0000

Team America: World Police (2004) Starring Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa Moyo, Daran Norris, Maurice LaMarche, Jeremy Shada, Fred Tatasciore Directed by Trey Parker Expectations: High.

There's a lot to like here, but a whole lot more to be bored by. I would have loved this if it was a short film, even a series of shorts. At about 100 minutes, it just seems to never end. The first thirty minutes are great and honestly the rest of the movie is probably just as good, but there is a fatigue that sets in and I could only laugh at the same basic jokes so much. My favorite part was a line in one of the songs, "I miss you as much as Michael Bay missed the mark on Pearl Harbor." If nothing else, I'm glad that somewhere out there a song with this lyric exists. The other songs are also good, especially Kim Jong Il's "I'm so Ronrey" but by the point it comes on in the film, I was so sick of the joke about how Asians have a hard time with R's and L's that it lessened the impact. The film is also lampooning the action film genre, and while it does a good job, for me it fell into the same traps as the films they were making fun of. For instance, the overly dramatic scenes with swelling music and heart-felt dialogue were just as boring as they are in big-budget action films. These scenes just weren't funny enough for me and there's a ton of them. The whole Alec Baldwin and his acting group, F.A.G., wasn't funny either, bringing my least favorite parts of South Park to puppet form. Look they're in a group called Fag, it's like they're saying they're all fags! C'mon, you can do better than that. The film is impeccably well made though. The production values are off the chart and the sets are lavish and fantastic. I still love the idea behind the whole thing, but I just wish that the script was smarter. I really should have known better when dealing with Parker & Stone, but hope got the better of me and my expectations were ultimately built up way too high. If you'd like to read more positive takes on this film, you can click these links here to head over to Cut the Crap or Dan the Man's websites where there is no shortage of love for this one.

def_by_temptation

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:00:38 +0000

def

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:30:32 +0000

def_by_temptation_screenshot_2

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:31:28 +0000

def_by_temptation_screenshot_3

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:32:08 +0000

51J5V6N699L._SL500_

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:33:08 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Def by Temptation (1990)

Uncle Jasper — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:37:38 +0000

Def by Temptation (1990) Starring James Bond III, Kadeem Hardison, Bill Nunn, Cynthia Bond, Samuel L. Jackson Directed By James Bond III

While Def by Temptation is relatively tame in comparison to most Troma offerings, it packs a substantial amount of meat behind its kitschy, B-vampire veneer. I was pleasantly surprised by the end of the film, and despite its heavy-handed sexuality vs. morality theme, it ultimately works due to solid, likeable performances and some well placed humor that doesn’t deter from or belittle itself. Writer, director, producer, and lead actor James Bond III must have been burned or completely disgusted by his turn in Hollywood though because this film stands alone in his filmography. He literally has not been heard from since its release 20 years ago. That’s a shame because genuine talent is evident here and even though his acting chops could have used a bit more polish, his character is ultimately convincing, so there isn’t much room for complaints. Joel (James Bond III) is an aspiring minister, who at the end of his schooling in the ministry is haunted by some pretty deep-seeded demons and unsettling visions of his dead parents. This is further echoed by his grandmother, who really digs out some of that slow-cooked, homespun, old southern wisdom… constantly warning him that although he is at the end of his spiritual training, he is coming to a crossroads where his faith will come up against the ultimate test. Disturbed, he seeks refuge from his North Carolina country home and calls up old ministry school classmate “K” (played here by Kadeem Hardison, better known as Dwayne Wayne from TV’s A Different World). K has long left the spiritual path behind, and is now a B-movie actor living in New York. The two catch up on old times while K cleans his Nike’s and schools Joel on the crazy world of the big city. K is a pretty likeable guy, but is not without his own self-straddled neuroses of vulnerability, which he holds at bay by keeping a loaded uzi on his fireplace mantle. Meanwhile, a vampire temptress (Cynthia Bond) floats around the local drinking establishment, seducing men into having outrageously licentious sex with her before murdering them. She pulls out all the stops and fully lives up to her “Temptress” moniker, using peacock feathers, grapes, soft candlelight, and kinky lingerie to corral her victims before killing them in a bloodbath. This film cranks up the heat in such an effective fashion that at times it resembles an early 90’s Jodeci video more than it does a B-vampire film. Her first victim is a suave barkeep who gets lured into the temptress’s bedroom, looking all Billy Dee Williams and shit while he delivers one of the film’s best lines… “This bed says that you are one hot-natured freakazoid that can’t wait to jump my bones, ‘cause you know I got the key to your pleasures.” The temptress continues returning to the bar in order to lure away other tactless pick-up artists and cheating husbands, one by one, in order to fulfill her vampiric bloodlust. They are all too eager to fall under her spell. The only one who seems privy to her dark streak is Dougy, the local barfly who spends most of his evenings being turned down by women after feeding them hilarious bullshit lies about his imaginary kung fu and medical careers. When 80s R&B sensation Freddie Jackson makes a surprise stop to the bar and strikes up conversation with Dougy, he asks why he has never attempted to pick up on the sultry temptress, to which Dougy replies “That bitch just scares the shit out of me”. All of these meandering bar scenes are what really drag out the first half of the film. I don’t know how many lowlifes we have to see the temptress entice and massacre before we get the point that she is not a nice lady. Thankfully, it is after she sets her sights on the innocent Joel that the film really ramps itself up and becomes some serious fun. You see, all of these lame hustlers can only hold the temptress over for so long before she feels those bloodthirsty hunger pangs inching up all over again. It is only with the complete and utter corruption of a pure individual that she can find ultimate satisfaction. When K takes Joel out to the bar in order to loosen him up a bit, the temptress almost immediately pegs him as the untainted victim she has been looking for all of these years. The two hit it off as the temptress ratchets up a nice girl act for Joel to gobble up. K seems more than a little dubious though and when the temptress shows up the next morning at his apartment to pick up Joel, he notices her lack of reflection in a mirror (the old staple of black vampire films, dating back to the Blacula days) which completely tips him off. K runs back to the bar to share the news with his pal Dougy, the only other person skeptical of the temptress and her charms. He comes clean and reveals to K that he is actually an FBI agent who had been tailing the temptress for years, waiting to pin a series of vampire killings on her! What comes next is more or less a fun, modern-day vampire hunt. In waters treaded a few years earlier by 1985’s camp-horror classic Fright Night (soon to be remade raped by Hollywood), the two prepare themselves for battle by seeking out the guidance of a psychic, and arm themselves to the teeth with holy water and machetes. Joel meanwhile is slipping quickly into the temptress’s arms, ignoring K’s repeated warnings. Say what you want about James Bond III’s lack of acting ability, his descent into full-blown temptation is extremely well paced, and played with enough restraint to come off as completely believable here. K and Dougy finally corner the temptress at the bar and slip her a Mickey of holy water. She immediately wretches and is unable to hold back her true demonic form. Dougy goes in for the kill, but her powers are too strong and the two are chased out by a dozen zombified bar-patrons. The temptress hunts each of them down and in a classic scene worthy of the Troma name, poor K gets eaten and then puked out in a bloody mess by a possessed television set while a rubber Ronald Reagan laughs out loud. Unfortunately it’s only after his two friends are killed that Joel finally comes around, fighting temptation as he conjures up some of that good ol’ religion and battles the temptress with his glowing crucifix. During the battle, he is again confronted by images of his dead parents which he must hold at bay, but ultimately, his innocence prevails. In an excellent gore shot, the Holy Spirit explodes the temptress’s head into thousands of bloody skull fragments. If you can make it through the plodding and repetitive first half, Def by Temptation will wow you by the film’s finale. It walks that fine line between serious morale-play and fun vampire farce so deftly that it completely satisfies on both levels. Combine that with a fantastic cast, great dialogue, some decent gore and you have a real winner. What’s it going to take to bring James Bond III out of hiding? I would love to see him back on the scene, churning out these sincere and modest little B-movies. Troma needs to do some footwork and get this guy back on their roster. Also, as a heads up, I don’t want to get anybody too excited when they see Samuel L. Jackson prominently featured in the advertising for this film. His performance as Joel’s father in flashback amounts to about five minutes of screen time. But this is Troma we are dealing with here, and it goes without saying that those bastards have no shame. That’s why I love them.

Film Festivals

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 00:43:30 +0000

From time to time, Uncle Jasper and I will be running special features on a series of films. It could be a legitimate series, it could be a theme. So far, this is what we have going, in the order they were done from old to new. Right now only the Fistful of Djangos is live, but when I get my act together the other ones will be hubs for the respective reviews contained within the theme.

Uncle Jasper's look at films by the Clones of Bruce Lee

Will's Empire International/Full Moon Catalog (Weekly series with new posts every Tuesday)

A Fistful of Djangos

... what's next?

A Fistful of Djangos Schedule is unveiled!

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 00:50:17 +0000

A Fistful of Djangos is on! It's gonna be a rip-roarin' good time!

Note: During this Silver Emulsion film festival, my regularly scheduled Tuesday posts in the Empire International/Full Moon continuing series will be moved to Fridays.

WEEK 1:

July 5th, Monday:

DJANGO (1966)

[by Will]

July 6th, Tuesday:

DJANGO THE BASTARD (1969)

AKA "Django the Avenger" "The Strangers Gundown" [by Uncle Jasper]

July 7th, Wednesday:

DJANGO KILLS SOFTLY (1967)

AKA "Django Kills Silently" [by Will]

July 8th, Thursday:

SON OF DJANGO (1967)

AKA "Return of Django" "Vengeance is a Colt 45" [by Uncle Jasper]

WEEK 2:

July 12th, Monday:

DON'T WAIT, DJANGO...SHOOT! (1967)

[by Will]

July 13th, Tuesday:

DJANGO AND SARTANA ARE COMING...IT'S THE END (1970)

AKA "Django and Sartana... Showdown in the West" "Final Conflict... Django Against Sartana" "Sartana If Your Left Arm Offends, Cut It Off" [by Uncle Jasper]

July 14th, Wednesday:

$10,000 BLOOD MONEY (1967)

AKA "Guns of Violence" "$10,000 Dollars for a Massacre" [by Will]

July 15th, Thursday:

DJANGO KILL (1967)

AKA "Django Kill... If You Live, Shoot!" [by Uncle Jasper]

Ghoulies_3

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:54:05 +0000

nostar

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:55:22 +0000

ghoulies3_2

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:07:45 +0000

ghoulies3

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:08:47 +0000

ghoulies3-4

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:09:35 +0000

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1991)

Silver Emulsion — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:46:38 +0000

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1991) Starring Kevin McCarthy, Evan Mackenzie, Eva La Rue, Patrick Labyorteaux, John Johnston, Billy Morrissette, Hope Marie Carlton, Marcia, Wallace, Stephen Lee, Jason Scott Lee, Andrew Barach, Matthew Lillard Directed by John Carl Buechler Expectations: High. The first two are horror/comedy gold. (No Stars)

If I allowed myself to give negative stars, this would have a toilet full of them. Ghoulies III is a film that offends me on a deep level because it takes something I genuinely love and completely trashes it. It reminds me of the Star Wars prequels in that way, and if there's one thing you don't want to do, it's remind me of the Star Wars prequels. Ugh. As soon as I'm done with this review I'm going to disregard that this film ever existed. On that cheery note, let's get down to business. First off, this is a direct-to-video sequel that was not produced by a Charles Band company. As far as I can tell he had nothing to do with this film, although the director, John Carl Buechler, did make a few films with Empire International and did the FX for a ton more. He definitely has the cred to be respectable, so I can't imagine why he agreed to make this, other than needing quick cash to pay off a loan shark or something. Realistically, there's nothing terribly wrong here with the FX or the directing, but more with the writing choices and the direction they decided to take the series. After watching this, it isn't hard to imagine why this is screenwriter Brent Olson's only credit on IMDB. Within the first few minutes I'm already offended. In the first two films, the Ghoulies did not speak. There were a few small, funny moments when the Ghoulies mouthed words or kind of spoke under their breath. These worked well because the Ghoulies never actually crossed the line into full sentences or coherent thought. I bet you can see where this is heading. Someone on this production had the grand idea that this should all change in Ghoulies III and arguably if the Ghoulies were to go to college I guess it is reasonable at some level to expect them to speak. All logic games aside, the Ghoulies were not meant to speak and they shouldn't. Any guesses what their first line on-screen is? ... ... ... "We're here!" I can only follow this line with a slow shake of my down-turned head because I know from this moment on it's only going to get worse. The Ghoulies are also dressed throughout the film which is fifty-seven shades of annoying. If you've followed my reviews of the Ghoulies series, you will know that the first two films feature Snake Fetus popping up out of a toilet. This is a very minor part of these films, played up in the advertising to try and wrangle in that young adult poop-joke crowd. In Ghoulies III though they decided to go all out and focus their film around some sort of ornate, cursed toilet that is somehow a gateway through which Ghoulies can be summoned when an unsuspecting Joe reads a specific issue of the Ghoulish Tales comic. Yes, that's the setup. Any sane man would push stop at this point and combat his disappointment by selecting a hopefully better film from his video rental pile, but not I. For the good of all humanity I soldiered on and watched the train wreck that is Ghoulies III so you don't have to. It's fitting though that the film revolves around a toilet as it is an absolute pile of shit. The focus has also shifted from horror/comedy to comedy/horror. The evidence? At one point Snake Fetus yells, "Beer run!" Cut to: an ominous looking monolith-like fridge complete with accompanying "Also Sprach Zarastrutha" theme. The Ghoulies then proceed to get absolutely shit-faced in a mind-blowing scene of near constant farts, burps and shitty one-liners. It is later learned that the Ghoulies drank...you guessed it, all 2001 of the frat's beers. The Ghoulies have undergone another physical change for this film as well. This time only three Ghoulies appear on-screen: Snake Fetus, Abominable Monkey and Acid Rat. Batling Spider Ghoul couldn't be reached for comment, but I respect him for his decision to remain distant from this production. He may be a Ghoulie, but damn it, he's a Ghoulie with integrity. Anyway, the Ghoulies that do appear in the film resemble the Ghoulies you know and love but there's something that's just not right about them, especially Acid Rat. His acid attack is gone and his face resembles a horse much more than it should, while still retaining some rat qualities. It's like the real Ghoulies were asking too much money for this sequel and the producers decided to hire cheap look-alikes to fill the rolls. I guess that makes this a Ghoulies clone film, so from this point forward I will refer to the Ghoulies by their clone names, Snake Feet, Abominable Monko and Corrosive Vermin, collectively known as the Ghoulos. If you ever thought your Ghoulos needed more influence from the Three Stooges then this is the film for you. Snake Feet fills the roll of Moe to perfection, knocking Abominable Monko and Corrosive Vermin's heads together (complete with bonk sound) multiple times throughout the film. Never before has a Ghoulos film felt so much like children's fare. Oddly enough, this is the first Ghoulos film rated R, but not because of its violence or gore. The rating here is purely for nudity. Wanna rent your shitty VHS tape to a bunch of unsuspecting fools? Put some tits in it. Works every time. Ghoulos Go to College features lots of nudity, but pretty-faced college coeds can only get you so far. There is one scene that I did enjoy that successfully blended nudity with tame FX. The Ghoulos sneak up an a girl showering and put a plunger on her face and stretch it out. It's cheap and relatively stupid, but it looks pretty good. I could continue, but it's becoming painful to recall my harrowing journey through the murky toilet waters of Ghoulies III. If the rest of the review didn't hammer home the fact that this movie sucks, then I don't know what closing thoughts I could say to dissuade you from ever seeing this film. I did have more fun writing about how awful this was than actually watching it and now that the memory dump has been completed, I can start to erase the files and defrag my mind. ... You know, it's a shame they never made a third Ghoulies, the first two are fantastic. Come back next week for my look at an early Charles Band picture, The Alchemist! The review will publish on Friday due to our "A Fistful of Djangos" film festival running over Mon-Thurs the next two weeks starting July 5th. Be there!

vigilante-poster

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:57:18 +0000

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Vigilante (1983)

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 02:17:16 +0000

Vigilante (1983) Starring Robert Forster, Fred Williamson, Richard Bright, Rutanya Alda, Don Blakely, Joseph Carberry, Willie Colón, Joe Spinell, Carol Lynley, Woody Strode Directed by William Lustig Expectations: Moderate. I was hoping that I'd enjoy this as much as Walking the Edge.

Vigilante opens with Fred Williamson walking out of complete darkness. He has a cigar in his mouth and ominous, droning electronic music builds in the background. "Hey. I don't know about you guys, but me, I've had it up to here. There are some forty-odd homicides a day on our streets. There are over two million illegal guns in this city. Man, that's enough guns to invade a whole damn country with. They shoot a cop in our city without even thinking twice about it. Ah, come on. I mean, you guys ride the subway. How much more of this grief we gonna stand for, huh? How many more locks we gotta put on our goddamn doors? Now we ain't got the police, the prosecutors, the courts or the prisons. I mean, it's over. The books don't balance. We are a statistic. Now I'm telling you...when you can't go to the corner and buy a pack of cigarettes after dark because you know the punks and the scum own the street when the sun goes down and our own government can't protect its own people then I say this pal, you got a moral obligation. The right of self-preservation. Now you can run, you can hide, or you can start to live like human beings again. This is our Waterloo, baby! If you want your city back...you gotta take it. Dig it? Take it!" If that doesn't get you fired up for the film and some vigilante justice, then you are beyond help. Williamson owns this opening and it is a fantastic way to start the picture. After the opening titles, we see a woman returning to her apartment building. She gets into the elevator and a man darts in just as the door closes. He grabs her, takes her to the roof and rapes her. He runs down the stairs but an older woman spots him. She ends up describing him to Fred Williamson and his buddies, who in turn roll up on the guy in an A-Team like van and drag him into it. He is never heard from again in the film. Whether the vigilante squad resorts to murder or not is left up to the viewer. I found this to be quite the restrained choice for a B-revenge picture. They could have easily shot him in the face or beat him to death and left him in an alley, but instead all you see is him getting thrown into the van and then they drive off. By not showing this easy opportunity for violence, it is as if the filmmakers are seeking to have violence that means something and holds emotional weight when it is shown. Robert Forster's character, our hero, is introduced through a short scene in the park where he picnics with his wife and young son. He's a nice, family man who really wants the best for his family. I'd like to say that he was able to provide that for them, but as this is a revenge picture called Vigilante, I cannot. Shortly after this, Forster's wife has a run in with a gang member. The man follows her home and breaks in, violently mutilating her and murdering the boy. This scene is especially intense and hard-to-watch as it is done in a very realistic, hardcore way. My assumption that they were going for emotionally impacting violence was correct, as this scene is squirm-inducing and quite powerful. Needless to say, when Forster finds out this has happened, he flips and wants revenge. Forster is aware of Williamson's vigilante activities, but he is reluctant to head down that path initially. He first tries the court system, but as foreshadowed in Williamson's opening monologue, it gets him nothing but absolute frustration. Forster is more subdued and understated in this role, which serves the story and the character but makes him a bit uninteresting. His character has a great arc over the course of the film though, so ultimately it was the correct choice. Williamson is fantastic as the fed-up vigilante squad leader, who gets to showcase not only his athletic prowess but also his underrated acting chops. The acting from all is fairly good, definitely better than I expected. Salsa music legend, Willie Colon, plays the gang leader and does a great job. This was his first film role, but you'd never know it. The film is well-shot for the most part, but there are moments of ugly framing here and there. I'm not watching this movie for the stunning cinematography though, so any minor problems I had are made up for tenfold by the kick-ass vigilante revenge contained within. One of my favorite of these moments comes when Fred Williamson chases a criminal through a building and up to a chain link fence. The criminal makes it to the other side and taunts Williamson. Fred responds with a mean 80s jump-kick to the fence, quickly regaining his balance and making his way to the other side to continue the hunt. I won't spoil anything, but know that the criminal got what was coming to him. The film's score is electronic-based and very 1980s. It was composed by Jay Chattaway, the same guy who did the score for Walking the Edge. While that score was light and rather up-beat, the Vigilante score is dark, brooding and dangerous. It perfectly captures the seedy, gritty nature of this film and is a real highlight. When Forster finally decides to seek Williamson's help, the music during Forster's walk over to him is reminiscent of some of the great spaghetti western scores, a proud march of honor into certain death. Great stuff. I think I enjoyed this a hair less than Walking the Edge, but they're really two completely different films so it is unfair of me to compare them directly. This is a satisfying 80s revenge drama and you should totally check it out if you are a fan of such things.

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:48:07 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 13:20:21 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Winterbeast (1991)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 13:25:04 +0000

Winterbeast (1991) Starring Tim R. Morgan, Mike Magri, Charles Majka, Bob Harlow, Lisa Breer, Dori May Kelly Directed By Christopher Thies

Winterbeast is the total package, absolutely sublime entertainment that continues to deliver hours after the film ends. I am still reeling and giddy in delight of the heaping spoonfuls of crazy imagery and completely irrational moments that this film threw at me. We should all stop and take a moment to consider ourselves blessed that we live in a world that allows stuff like this to see the light of day. The acting, editing, and staging are so bad, and fly so deliberately in the face of film theory that it reaches levels of incoherency not seen since the French new-wave. It’s hard to decide where to begin, but the film’s most entertaining moments are the scenes featuring one-of-a-kind stop motion creatures brutally murdering random hikers and mountain climbers. Far from Harryhausen’s workshop scraps, these creatures actually come off as being created and animated with tremendous care. In fact, watching these things only made me long for the days when this lost cinematic art was the standard for on screen special-effects. There are about five or six different creatures, but my personal favorite was the giant, featherless zombie chicken (that actually predates Poultrygeist by 15 years). It is only when miniature clay versions of the actors are incorporated with the monsters that it comes off as trashy, but no less entertaining. Their death scenes end up looking like outtakes from old Mr. Bill shorts. I kept waiting for one of them to be torn apart while screaming “Oh noooooooo!” For all the quality the stop motion creatures present, the rest of the film is so unapologetically sloppy and devoid of production values that you will be glued to the screen in anticipation of just what gaffes and technical taboos these guys will let slide by next. The film was obviously shot without sound, and at moments the voiceover work is so off that you’ll be reaching for the remote, wondering if you accidentally selected a commentary track. At other times the audio is completely drowned out by what can only be a vacuum cleaner, blender, or howitzer missile screaming away inches from the microphone. Watch in glorious amazement as the laws of film editing are completely rewritten here. Actions are matched up in locations miles apart and scenes are ended mid-sentence, cutting off entire sections of dialogue. If it wasn’t for the excessive artifacts and visible film tears I would have thought this film was cobbled together on a couple of worn-out VCRs on a Saturday afternoon. But who really has time for editing when the Winterbeast lurks out there? Acting takes the worst hit though. These poor guys are so wooden and artificial in their delivery that they make John Holmes look like Marlon Brando. Actors constantly flub lines and correct themselves mid-sentence while extras try not to crack smiles in the background. The world of Winterbeast is simply too intense for second takes… Obviously the filmmakers were feeling a sense of urgency in their attempt to get their message to the masses as quickly as possible. In one of its more audacious moments, a lead actor is momentarily replaced by a lookalike about 2/3rds of the way through. I am very forgiving however, and would be able to accept all of this if the actors actually were capable of cognitive thought. These poor people are slaves to a movie logic so powerful and irrational in its sway that it compels them to mysteriously lose all facets of basic motor skill. Monsters pursue actors who inexplicably fall out of cars crawling by at 5 miles per hour. Where most people would vault over waist-high obstacles, these actors prefer instead to get on their knees and crash through them, kool-aid style. If these guys were capable of doing anything a normal human being might do while under pursuit, they would actually have a chance at survival. Instead we have to cringe as they flutter their arms around and scurry around in circles like deranged swamp rats. The story has to do with a resort town haunted by ancient Indian spirits and demons. Ranger Bill, who had left years earlier for the big city, comes back to his old position only to find locals terrorized over hunters and hikers who have gone up in the mountains, never to return. He orders an evacuation of the town, much to the dismay of local lodge owner, Sheldon. The guy that plays Sheldon is one of the film’s high marks. He sports a checkered blazer and looks like a flamboyant game show host. This guy is so deliciously over the top and hams it up so much for the camera that you simply cannot take your eyes off of him. Later Sheldon is revealed to be some kind of weird pervert or something… In the film’s only genuinely creepy scene he dons a clown mask and begins dancing around to kiddy records for a roomful of rotting corpses before his head spontaneously bursts into flames. While investigating the Indian curse, Ranger Bill consults Charlie, one of the locals who tells him long forgotten local legends involving medicine men and ancient warriors in their never-ending battle against spirits and demons. He reaches for a leather felt-lined box containing some sacred artifact and – WOW! OK, so apparently Charlie keeps it in the same box as his prized dildo. Somehow Ranger Bill is able to muster up enough willpower to concentrate on Charlie’s tale without so much as raising an eyebrow while this massive rubber dong stares back at him. No mention or explanation is given to the dildo’s presence, it just sits there. I had to rewind the scene several times to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me, but yes, it is a giant wang. Surreal. Often while watching this film I kept asking myself the question that my colleague put forth while drafting up this blog’s original mission statement; “Is it worth watching?” the answer is a resounding yes. I simply could not imagine anybody out there depriving themselves of the inane experience and exercise in disjointed filmmaking that is Winterbeast.

night-watch

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 05:46:15 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 05:56:28 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 05:57:14 +0000

Night Watch (2004)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 12:52:55 +0000

Night Watch [Ночной дозор (Nochnoi dozor)] (2004) Starring Konstantin Khabensky, Mariya Poroshina, Viktor Verzhbitskiy, Dmitriy Martynov Directed by Timur Bekmambetov Expectations: High. I had heard great things.

I don't know how big the Russian fantasy film genre is, but I've now seen my first. I wish I could come out and say, "Wow, that was amazing," but unfortunately my response is a lot more tempered than I hoped it to be. This is a movie that doesn't really know where it wants to go with itself and thus I was left confused. That's not to say there's nothing good here. In fact, there's quite a bit that is fun to watch and works well. It's these moments of fun that make the movie frustrating because they work as a sort of carrot on a stick being held out in front of you, driving you on, but you never get the carrot. The film is based on a 1998 novel by Sergei Lukyanenko. I haven't read it, but from what I understand, the novel is broken into three parts and this film is based only on the first part. Just judging from the basic ideas presented in the film, I can imagine that this book is pretty good. I'll probably check it out at some point, so I hope that this story is better on the page. To try to briefly summarize the film's murky narrative will be a challenge, but I will do my best. In a world... where others walk among us... Some good and some evil... in a constant power struggle... One man holds the fate of the world in his hands... Okay, so it sounds like every other fantasy action picture when you break it down like that, but really it is more original than all that. The film opens with our main character visiting an elderly woman who possesses supernatural powers. The man asks her to kill the unborn child in his wife's womb after he is told by the woman that the child is not his. Things get nasty and some shape-shifting cops bust in and break up the black magic before the child is killed. This opens the character's and the viewer's eyes to the world of the Others. Light Others fight to protect humanity and keep Dark Others in check. Dark Others are basically vampires that cannot drink human blood because of the Light Other cops. I was hoping for some serious throw-downs between the two sides but it remains fairly civil throughout, with a lot of politics and glaring at one another. The film is quite flashy but not really in a traditional Hollywood sense. It's still annoying, but at least I haven't seen every one of the tricks used here a thousand times before. If you've seen and enjoyed Timur Bekmambetov's first US feature, Wanted, you will most likely enjoy this and its sense of style. Unfortunately, I'm one of the guys who turned Wanted off after thirty minutes, so I'm not really in sync with this guy. In addition to the flashiness, the use of handheld cameras and quick-cut Michael Bay editing here is atrocious and frustrating. The film does have its share of great visuals though. In one scene where the main character fights a vampire, he ends up blasting him with some light, instantly frying him. The vampire falls back into a chair as he turns to ash and the force of his fall sends the chair rocketing back. The chair strikes a sink on the other side of the room and the vampire's ashen head explodes outward. It's a fun scene and it looks great. This is one of the more conventional scenes but it's also one of the few scenes that works really well. You won't hear me say this much, but this film actually could have used some more convention. As I said before, I'm sure the convoluted plot works well in the novel, but something seems to have been lost in the adaptation. The film feels like it's a sequel to an earlier film, jumping directly into events already in motion. It takes a good while before you get your bearings and are in tune with the film, at which point it'll take a sharp left and lose you again. I did enjoy watching this for some reason though. It was boring in spots and hard to understand throughout, but the story wraps up very, very well, setting up a potentially kick-ass sequel. Is it as awesome as it could be? Find out tomorrow with my review of Day Watch! One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go Djan-go! Don't forget! A Fistful of Djangos, our look at eight classic spaghetti westerns starts three days from now on Monday July 5th! Be there!

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Silver Emulsion — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 13:48:56 +0000

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Day Watch (2006)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 14:44:08 +0000

Day Watch [Дневной дозор (Dnevnoy dozor)] (2006) Starring Konstantin Khabensky, Mariya Poroshina, Vladimir Menshov, Viktor Verzhbitskiy, Dmitriy Martynov, Aleksei Chadov, Zhanna Friske Directed by Timur Bekmambetov Expectations: Low, based on my reaction to the first in the series.

Night Watch ended with some serious potential for this movie to be awesome. A fateful decision had been made and supposedly nothing will be the same. The balance has shifted and all that. The resulting film of Day Watch delivers on almost none of that promise though, instead providing you with lots of non-sensical scenes, a weird pseudo light-hearted mood and even worse pacing than the first. This film is also based on the 1998 Sergei Lukyanenko novel entitled Night Watch, not its sequel novel Day Watch as you might think. The novel is broken into three parts, with the filmed Night Watch taking on part one and the filmed Day Watch taking on parts two and three. The problem with combining the parts is that it seems like they were written to be companion pieces, working together in a large sense but not in a strict plot point-to-point sense. So combining them results in a more confusing film than the first. I was on board for the first twenty minutes or so thinking that with the first film out of the way I would at least have a basic understanding built in for the sequel. That theory panned out for a short while before they starting jerking the wheel around and losing me again. The score is very similar to the score for Night Watch, except for the addition of the light-hearted romantic comedy style music. Why the choice was made to go with this type of music, I'll never know, but I do know that it was a poor choice. Another thing that bugged me, the music for almost every action scene in both films is the same driving, techno song. I know these films were produced on a modest budget but one or two more cheap techno songs would have gone a long way to make this a better film. This film also suffers from the same overuse of close-ups, handheld camerawork and fast editing that plagued Night Watch. There's also some good visuals contained here, like the scene when a bus crashes into one of the Dark Others, but the pacing is so bad that most people probably won't make it that far. Night Watch was a huge success in its native country, quickly becoming the number one box office film ever, surpassing even Western releases. This must have gone to Bekmambetov's head because this film is a good thirty minutes longer than the first, resulting in an overlong, over bloated boring action picture that completely fails to deliver on the promise laid out by the closing moments of its predecessor. This film's main plot circles around a mystical piece of chalk that has the power to undo actions that you have set into motion. It's an interesting idea, but what ultimately happens with it negates almost the entire running time of both films and you are left with a serious case of the what the fuck blues. If only the chalk was real Bekmambetov could have used it to go back and make a better film. Don't forget, it takes two to Djan-go! A Fistful of Djangos, our look at eight classic spaghetti westerns starts two days from now, on Monday July 5th! Be there!

20 Django (English)

Silver Emulsion — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 18:23:54 +0000

Django Theme (English)

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Django Kills Softly Theme

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Empire International/Full Moon Films

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 07:31:22 +0000

This page will serve as a main hub for all my reviews of Empire International, Full Moon and other Charles Band related films. As I complete them, this will be updated with links to the reviews. I've tried to make this list chronological and comprehensive, but I'm probably missing or wrong a few details. I'm not too worried about it though. And yes, I do plan on working my way through every one of these as long as I can find them (some of these are fairly obscure), so obviously this is going to be going on for quite a while. I realize how ridiculous this must look to even bother watching some of these, but I'm gonna give it go. As long as they're fun, I'm game. Compilation films have been removed from the list.

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Pre-Empire Films

Last Foxtrot In Burbank (1973) Mansion Of The Doomed (1975) Crash! (1977) Cinderella (1977) End Of The World (1977) Auditions (1978) Laserblast (1978) Fairy Tales (1979) Tourist Trap (1979) The Day Time Ended (1980) The Best Of Sex And Violence (1980) Famous T&A (1982) Parasite (1982) Filmgore (1983) Metalstorm: The Destruction Of Jared-Syn (1983)

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Empire International

Walking the Edge (1983) The Alchemist (1984) Ragewar AKA The Dungeonmaster (1985) Ghoulies (1985) Trancers (1985) Zone Troopers (1985) Re-Animator (1985) Transmutations AKA Underworld (1985) Zombiethon (1986) Dreamaniac (1986) Troll (1986) Eliminators (1986) TerrorVision (1986) Ghost Warrior (1986) Robot Holocaust (1986) Crawlspace (1986) Breeders (1986) From Beyond (1986) Rawhead Rex (1986) Vicious Lips (1987) Valet Girls (1987) Dolls (1987) The Princess Academy (1987) Enemy Territory (1987) Necropolis (1987) The Caller (1987) Psychos in Love (1987) Mutant Hunt (1987) Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987) Galactic Gigolo (1987) Creepozoids (1987) Buy & Cell (1987) Pulse Pounders (1988) [Unreleased] Prison (1988) Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) Cellar Dweller (1988) Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988) Catacombs (1988) aka Curse IV Ghost Town (1988) Transformations (1988) Grotesque (1988) Ghoulies II (1988) Cemetary High (1989) Intruder (1989) Dr. Alien (1989) Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1989) Arena (1989) Deadly Weapon (1989) Puppet Master (1989) (produced by Empire Pictures, released by Full Moon Features) The Occultist (1989) Robot Jox (1990) Spellcaster (1992)

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Full Moon Pictures Era (Including Surrender Cinema, Related Companies & some Charles Band Exec. Prod. stuff)

Shadowzone (1990) Meridian (1990) Crash and Burn (1990) Puppet Master II (1991) The Pit and the Pendulum (1990) Trancers II (1991) Subspecies (1991) Present Memory (1991) Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991) Dollman (1991) Netherworld (1992) Demonic Toys (1992) Seedpeople (1992) Bad Channels (1992) Doctor Mordrid (1992) Trancers III (1992) Robot Wars (1993) Bloodstone: Subspecies II (1993) Prehysteria! (1993) Arcade (1993) Mandroid (1993) Remote (1993) Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (1993) Puppet Master 4 (1993) Beach Babes from Beyond (1993) Trancers 4: Jack of Swords (1994) Bloodlust: Subspecies III (1994) Invisible: The Chronicles of Benjamin Knight (1994) Oblivion (1994) Lurking Fear (1994) Dragonworld (1994) Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 (1994) Dark Angel: The Ascent (1994) Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter (1994) Shrunken Heads (1994) Trancers 5: Sudden Deth (1994) Prehysteria! 2 (1994) Beanstalk (1994) Huntress: Spirit of the Night (1995) Blonde Heaven (1995) Pet Shop (1995) Leapin’ Leprechauns (1995) Prehysteria! 3 (1995) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 2, The Human Pets (1995) Castle Freak (1995) Magic Island (1995) Demon in the Bottle (1996) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 3, Trapped on Toyworld (1995) Zarkorr! the Invader (1996) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 4, Eggs from 70 Million B.C. (1996) Oblivion 2: Backlash (1996) Virtual Encounters (1996) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 5, Journey to the Magic Cavern (1996) Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 6, Last Battle for the Universe (1996) Alien Abduction: Intimate Secrets AKA Forbidden Zone: Alien Abduction (1996) Magic in the Mirror (1996) Femalien (1996) Spellbreaker: Secret of the Leprechauns (1996) Head of the Family (1996) Petticoat Planet (1996) Magic in the Mirror: Fowl Play (1996) Vampire Journals (1997) Bimbo Movie Bash (1997) Lurid Tales: The Castle Queen (1997) Mystery Monsters (1997) Hideous! (1997) The Exotic House of Wax (1997) The Creeps (1997) Little Ghost (1997) Johnny Mysto: Boy Wizard (1997) Virtual Encounters 2 (1998) Teen Knight (1998) Lolita 2000 (1998) The Secret Kingdom (1998) Shrieker (1998) The Exotic Time Machine (1998) Curse of the Puppet Master (1998) Femalien II (1998) The Shrunken City (1998) Kraa! The Sea Monster (1998) Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island (1998) Clockmaker (1998) Talisman (1998) Frankenstein Reborn! (1998) The Werewolf Reborn! (1998) Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (1998) The Boy with the X-Ray Eyes (1999) Hollyweird (1999) The Killer Eye (1999) Veronica 2030 (1999) Phantom Town (1999) Murdercycle (1999) Hidden Beauties (1999) The Excalibur Kid (1999) Hotel Exotica (1999) Shapeshifter (1999) Witchouse (1999) Timegate: Tales of the Saddle Tramps (1999) Andromina: The Pleasure Planet (1999) Auditions from Beyond (1999) The Incredible Genie (1999) Blood Dolls (1999) Pleasurecraft (1999) Totem (1999) Shandra: The Jungle Girl (1999) Dungeon of Desire (1999) Retro Puppet Master (1999) Ragdoll (1999) Search for the Jewel of Polaris: Mysterious Museum (1999) Lip Service (1999) The Dead Hate the Living! (2000) The St. Francisville Experiment (2000) Zorrita: Passion's Avenger (2000) The Horrible Dr. Bones (2000) Casting Couch (2000) Passion's Obsession (2000) Virgins of Sherwood Forest (2000) Sideshow (2000) Voodoo Academy (2000) Prison of the Dead (2000) Witchouse 2: Blood Coven (2000) NoAngels.com (2000) Killjoy (2000) The Exotic Time Machine II: Forbidden Encounters (2000) The Vault (2000) Task Force 2001 (2000) The Mistress Club (2000) The Regina Pierce Affair (2001) Stitches (2001) Platinum Blonde (2001) Horrorvision (2001) Train Quest (2001) Phantom Love (2001) Song of the Vampire (2001) Passion Lane (2001) Demonicus (2001) Vengeance of the Dead (2001) Witchouse 3: Demon Fire (2001) Killjoy 2: Deliverance from Evil (2002) Dead & Rotting (2002) Hell Asylum (2002) Cryptz (2002) Castle Eros (2002) Trancers 6 (2002) Groom Lake (2002) Deathbed (2002) Jigsaw (2002) Bleed (2002) Deadly Stingers (2003) Birth Rite (2003) Delta Delta Die! (2003) Dr. Moreau’s House of Pain (2004) Cinemaker (2004) Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys (2004) Decadent Evil (2005) Doll Graveyard (2005) The Gingerdead Man (2005) Urban Evil (2005) Petrified (2006) Evil Bong (2006) Dead Man’s Hand (2007) Decadent Evil II (2007) Chinango (2007) Dangerous Worry Dolls (2008) Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008) Evil Bong II: King Bong (2009) Skull Heads (2009) Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons (2010) Killjoy 3 (2010) Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010)

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DSC_1687

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Sean Connery as James Bond

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Seven Facts

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 13:55:44 +0000

OK, so Dan the Man tagged me a few days ago in another of these answer some questions about yourself things. I've been putting this off for way too long because this isn't really the kind of thing I enjoy doing, but in an effort to give those reading a bit of background on where I'm coming from, here's seven wonderful facts about yours truly.

1. Like lots of others, I am obsessed with music in its varying forms. The band I listen to the most by far is Phish. I've been a fan for about 6-7 years, but I didn't get really hardcore about them until a couple of years ago. It's hard for me to nail them down as my favorite but I definitely get the most enjoyment out of their music. They can pick me out of any poor mood I'm experiencing like no other band. No one can touch them improvisationally, but they never get enough credit in the mainstream for the amount of badass they are. Oh well, more for me. I also enjoy The Who, Neil Young, Iron Maiden, Fela Kuti and a multitude of others.

2. When I was a kid I was obsessed with PC adventure games. Specifically the Space Quest series, but also Police Quest, King's Quest and a few of the LucasArts games like Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis and the Monkey Island games. I still play them from time to time and enjoy every minute of it.

3. I collect 45s of old funk and soul music. I also greatly enjoy the Daptone Record label of new groups such as Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings (whose version of This Land is Your Land opens "Up in the Air"), the Budos Band and others who strive to keep the sounds of funk and soul alive.

4. My favorite directors are Stanley Kubrick & Akira Kurosawa. The Coen Bros are top-notch when they're on their game too. Samuel Fuller is a new favorite over the last couple of years. I'm a big Woody Allen fan too.

5. I love James Bond. I've seen all the movies and enjoyed a good portion of them. I see them as big budget B-pictures. I'm also reading the Fleming novels and enjoying them quite a bit as well. They might make you like the films less though, as the stories are better, but I am willing to let Bond exist as separate entities in print and film.

6. I credit Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey with opening my eyes fully to the power of filmmaking and specifically to the power of the director to control the viewer's experience through his choices. It remains one of my most favorite films and I love it more every time I see it. A couple of years back I had the pleasure of seeing it on the big screen in 70mm and that was truly something to behold. Until you see something of this caliber in a theatre, you really have no idea how great film can be.

I had a similar experience when I got to see another of my favorites, Once Upon a Time in the West on the big screen. The tension was so thick I could have swam through the air like Scrooge McDuck swims through gold. It was so much more brilliant in the large form that I'm afraid to watch it on DVD because I don't want to tarnish the experience I had.

7. I'm a huge sci-fi nerd but I am endlessly frustrated by the general lack of quality and imagination in sci-fi films these days. One of the best books I've read in the last few years was Spin by Robert Charles Wilson. If they made that into a good movie I would be in heaven.

I'm the kind of person that stops chain letters, but I'll resist the urge and link a few peoples. If you've already done it, I apologize.

Kevin @ The Pork Chop Express James @ Cinema Sights JP @ JP's I'm Outta Here Movie Thoughts

You're on in one, Mr. Bo-Djangos! Don't forget! A Fistful of Djangos, our look at eight classic spaghetti westerns starts tomorrow, Monday July 5th! Be there!

Django the Bastard Theme

Silver Emulsion — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:31:28 +0000

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Silver Emulsion — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:41:45 +0000

Django (1966)

Silver Emulsion — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 13:57:17 +0000

Django (1966) Starring Franco Nero, José Bódalo, Loredana Nusciak, Eduardo Fajardo, Ángel Álvarez, Gino Pernice, Simón Arriaga Directed by Sergio Corbucci Expectations: High

Django opens with a tight shot of the back of Django's head. A black hat sits atop it and the theme song begins with a djangly guitar. As he walks away, the camera zooms out in the opposite direction, slowly revealing that he laboriously walks across the barren, muddy landscape, dragging a coffin behind him. Django continues up a muddy hill as the credits fade in and out around him. He is a mystery and will remain that way throughout the film. Knowing too much about his character would ruin his mystique. He simply is Django.

[audio http://silveremulsion.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/20-django-english.mp3]Click the play button above to listen to the Django theme while you read!

There is one thing about the character that you learn pretty quick and cannot ignore. Django does not fuck around. When faced with insurmountable odds, a local barkeep says, "...but you can't do it alone." Django takes a drag from his cigar, without a care in the world. "I am not alone." How could he be so confident in this situation? He opens his coffin and it suddenly all makes sense. Contained within is a huge machine gun that fires multiple bullets at once from multiple barrels. I don't know if such a gun exists in real life, but if it does I'm glad that I saw this before I found myself facing off against one. He slaughters the oncoming force of roughly fifty men in thirty seconds and shows no remorse whatsoever. He takes out his pistol as a few lucky ones flee and shoots the men's leader, Maj. Jackson, off his horse. He lands face down in the mud. Django's final pistol shot is arguably the most powerful of the scene, as it manages to do three things. It humiliates Maj. Jackson and sends him packing. It places a period at the end of a rapid-fire sentence, letting everyone know how ridiculously badass Django is and further illustrating that Django does not fuck around. It also shows that Django doesn't use the machine gun out of necessity or to make up for a lack of skill. He uses it by choice and he is more than capable without it. The film features a story that seems at least in part taken from Yojimbo. The lone stranger comes into town and finds himself in the middle of two warring factions. They are the Americans, who wear red scarves and hoods ala the Klan, and the Mexicans who are not much more than clichéd savages. Both parties fight to possess a girl who Django saves at the beginning of the film, but the story is really playing second fiddle here to the great set pieces throughout. There's the big machine gun reveal that I mentioned above and the second half explodes with great, action-packed moments. Most Westerns feature a saloon fist fight at some point and Django is no different. It is shot better than most though, remaining fresh and exciting. There's a quick shot of a punch coming directly at the camera towards the beginning of the fight that really sets the dial to excitement and the action never lets up. Franco Nero is perfect in the role of Django. He is calm and quiet, but you can sense the powerful storm that rages under those cool, blue eyes. The supporting cast is not as good overall, but certain members stand out, such as the Mexican general played by José Bódalo (who reminds me of Keenan Wynn a bit). I don't think Keenan Wynn ever cut off a dude's ear and fed it to him though. If you've seen Reservoir Dogs, this is the movie where that ear-cutting scene comes from, and it's arguably more hardcore in Django than it is in the later film. Django is notable for featuring this kind of extreme violence, something rare at the time of release. The film received a number of bans around the world because of this, notably a thirty-year ban in the UK. The film's score was composed by Oscar-winning* composer Luis Bacalov and he does a great job for the most part. The Django theme song (featured above) is excellent and will be stuck in your head for quite a while after the film has finished. It's by far the standout track, but there are lots of great instrumental pieces as well. Some of the music sounds a bit too close to American Western film music for my taste, but this is a minor complaint that only a film score nerd like myself is even going to care about. The film is generally well shot and edited, but doesn't approach the masterful levels of Leone. I don't think they were really going for that, but it is important to know this going in. Leone's westerns are all about tension and how it builds as two people share a conversation, especially in his later films. Django has very little tension and is more about having fun and being wild. That being said, this is still a high point of the spaghetti western genre and one of the best westerns to come out of 1960s Italy. Dragging a coffin with a machine gun inside it is a smashing good idea and one that any Western fan can't argue with. Initially, the film seems to be paced a little too slow, but as it unfolds you realize that the film is expertly plotted, revealing itself fully at its culmination. Things that seem fleeting come back to play a role, making for a very enjoyable ride. This is a film that will only get better with repeat viewings. It all leads up to the finale, a scene that is truly something special. It transcends the rest of the entire film in its level of tension and excitement. Without ruining anything, Django finds himself seriously down on his luck, stripped of his tools and truly alone. For the first time, his life is on the line for real and for that reason this scene is easily the best in the film. After watching this, I can't help but be frustrated that Nero and Corbucci didn't make a direct sequel immediately following this, instead letting a rash of random people jump on the Django train and make their own watered-down versions of the character. Franco Nero did make an official sequel but it wasn't until 1987, and even that isn't a true sequel as it is set in the jungle and has more of a Rambo vibe than a Django one. If only they had struck while the iron was hot, I think this could have easily been as popular as the Clint Eastwood/Sergio Leone "Man with No Name" pictures and made Nero a huge star. Unfortunately, that was not to be and we are only left with the multitude of clones. Come back tomorrow as Uncle Jasper takes on 1969's Django the Bastard in Day two of A Fistful of Djangos! * Il Postino [The Postman] - 1996 Academy Awards

Uncle Jasper reviews: Django the Bastard (1969)

Uncle Jasper — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 12:21:11 +0000

Django the Bastard [Django il Bastardo] (1969) AKA “Django the Avenger” & “The Strangers Gundown” Starring Anthony Steffen, Paolo Gozlino, Luciano Rossi, Teodoro Corra, Jean Louis, Carlo Gaddi, Thomas Rudy, Lucia Bomez Directed By Sergio Garrone

Django the Bastard takes a pretty uninspired, revenge-driven storyline and manages to turn it into the ultimate ninja film. It looks like a western, it even smells like a western, but take a closer look and you might start mistaking those six-shooters and cowboy hats for ninja stars and black hoods. A lot has happened to our hero since the first film. First, Django’s hands have completely healed. Great! Second, Django has seemed to have taken on some supernatural powers. In fact, he is often referred to as a ghost or apparition throughout the film. When asked by a dying victim who he is, Django replies “I am a devil from hell”. It sounds a little wonky at first, but give it time and soon you will be eating it up every time you see Django disappear into thin air in the middle of a conversation, clone himself in front of an enemy begging for mercy, or emerge from shadows or thick plumes of smoke just long enough to take out some frightened gunslingers. [audio http://silveremulsion.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/djangothebastard.mp3]Click the play button above to listen to the Django the Bastard theme while you read! The image of the grim reaper comes to mind frequently in director Sergio Garrone’s take on the Django character. Besides defying the laws of physics, Django leaves a unique calling card to all enemies moments before killing them: a wooden cross inscribed with their name and the day’s date. The film’s incredibly stylized opening begins with Django strolling quietly into town and boldly planting his signature cross into the center of the road in front of the house of his first victim. The terrified man emerges with his gun drawn, but he already has accepted his fate, you cannot cheat death. Anthony Steffen does a decent job here as the lead character, playing the role with a stone-faced expression and complete lack of emotion. One can look at his performance from two very different perspectives. One might say that he plays the character brilliantly as a man devoid of human emotion, who through a traumatic experience has ceased to live. On the other hand you can also say that Steffen is simply a shitty actor who hides behind the badass tough-guy persona in a lame attempt to cover up his lack of talent. I think it may be a combination of both, and ultimately have to admit that Sergio Garrone’s directing may have had more of a hand in making Django so extremely badass in this film. It’s Toshiro Mifune who demonstrated that you can be a badass and still have a personality to go with it. In any case I think most will agree that the actor dubbing Steffen’s voice does nothing to aid his cause. His monotone, faux-southern accent sounds like something straight out of the Don “The Dragon” Wilson school of acting. You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned plot and well, that’s because there really isn’t much of one to begin with. Django is basically hunting down the three generals who betrayed his confederate army buddies by teaming up with those dirty Yankees and wiping out his entire regiment. And yes I said confederate army buddies. I know the first film suggested that Django was an ex-union soldier, and some might get their panties in a knot over the way this film completely disregards something many might consider an integral aspect of the Django character. I on the other hand, just find it hilarious and actually admire the way Garrone simply says “fuck it” and creates his own alternate version of the Django universe. Bruceploitation anyone? Anyway, the plot is basically an excuse to set up an incredibly awesome sequence where Django gets to play Batman in the night shadows for 30 minutes of screen time. Just watching him toy with and completely spook the shit out of a town full of roughneck outlaws and paid assassins is like taking a red-hot shot of heroin straight into the neck. You never want it to end and are left begging for more when it is eventually over. I could have literally watched it go on for hours. It simply never gets old to watch Django yank these poor guys out of dark alleyways and send their dead bodies back into town, riding horseback with giant crosses strapped to their backs. Soon these jumpy gunfighters are left frantically stuttering and drooling in fear of Django, a man they quickly begin to even question the physical existence of. They begin shooting at moving shadows, fluttering blankets, and eventually each other. Django even blends in among them with ease, sitting alongside the frightened guns at a campfire, planting dynamite and calmly walking away as it explodes behind him. Man, this is the stuff that great cinema is made of. All of my childhood dreams of stalking criminals on moonlit rooftops with deadly weapons at my disposal finally come to fruition in an Italian-made western, of all places. Sneak back here tomorrow for Day 3 of A Fistful of Djangos, when Will gives his take on the 1967 film, Django Kills Softly!

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Silver Emulsion — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 06:22:11 +0000

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Django Kills Softly (1967)

Silver Emulsion — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:13:15 +0000

Django Kills Softly [Bill il taciturno] (1967) AKA Django Kills Silently Starring George Eastman, Luciano Rossi, Liana Orfei, Mimmo Maggio, Peter Hellman, Spartaco Conversi, Claudio Biava, Federico Boido, Paul Maru, Antonio Toma, Martial Boschero, Giovanna Lenzi, Ilona Drash, Enrico Manera, Federico Pietrabruna Directed by Massimo Pupillo (as Max Hunter) Expectations: Low. I have hope going in to these clone films, but I'm not expecting much at all.

Django Kills Softly opens as a group of bandits ride up on a small family's camp and murder them. Django comes down from a hill and kills the bandits that have stayed behind to loot the wagon. My first thought is that George Eastman is no Franco Nero. During the credit sequence, Eastman poses and smiles at the camera, clearly pleased with the good deed he has done. I knew then that this would be a different Django film, one that didn't seek to actually use or expand on the character from the Corbucci film, but only use his name to capitalize on the success of the initial film and its drawing power. This Django doesn't have a coffin or a machine gun and is more talkative and less dark. In fact, he's only referred to as Django once towards the end of the film. In order to rectify this in my mind, I took to thinking of his character as a younger, more light-hearted version of Django, as if this was a prequel of sorts before things turned dark. [audio http://silveremulsion.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/djangokillssoftly.mp3]Click the play button above to listen to the Django Kills Softly theme while you read! Despite a kid getting shot in the chest during the first minute, this isn't on par with the bloody violence seen in Django. People get shot but they fall over clutching their completely bloodless wounds. It's not that big of a deal, but it is in stark contrast to the original film's principles. There are tons of big cliché Western death falls from rooftops or banisters though, and I'm a sucker for those, so this makes up for any lack of blood. Django rides into the town controlled by the ruthless Thompson and his men. It becomes something of another Yojimbo story at this point, as there's a second group of men fighting Thompson for control of the town. There's also a bandit faction led by El Santo (no relation to the Lucha Libre film star), looking to take what they can from the situation. It's a good thing that I enjoy the base Yojimbo story so much, or else these knock-offs would get rather tiring. As I mentioned earlier, Eastman is passable as Django here, but he's no Franco Nero. He's something of a lightweight gun, but he's fast enough on the draw to take out his share of men. The real strength of this Django lies not in brute force or crushing glares. As the title implies, this Django has ninja-like skills of sneaking around softly and it makes for some fun scenes. One of the best is when Thompson's men come to Django's room at night to kill him. They look around and Django is nowhere to be found. The men hear something behind the bathroom door, but their Django is in another castle. The real Django jumps down from the rafters, firing as he falls, killing one and then the other out of a daring roll across the floor. Wow! This Django is one BAD, stealthy motherfucker. I wasn't really expecting the title to be literal, but without a doubt, this Django is like a cat, killing soft and silent. It should be noted that the stealth skills Django showcases in this film are not even close to the level of ninjitsu prowess on display in Django the Bastard. In this way, I suppose you could think of this film as also being a prequel to Django the Bastard, a film where Django has truly mastered the art of the shadow. Therefore I am only left to wonder if in the bowels of some dank film archive there exists a Django martial arts training film, and if not, there should be. But I digress... The dubbing is good here, about as good as dubbing can be for a spaghetti western I guess. The film is pretty well shot with some excellent use of snap zooming to punctuate Django's skill at shooting canteens thrown into the air. The interior sets reminded me of the original Star Trek with bright green painted walls and the like. The film's score by Berto Pisano is good as well, with some really inspired moments and others that are rather dull and average. Overall, it's a spaghetti western score so it's fun to listen to if nothing else. We have another saloon fight in this film, but it's not as good as the one in Django. This one is a lot more standard and features all your favorite saloon fight clichés such as: Lots of dudes diving headlong into each other! The guy who lands on the floor under a broken beer barrel and decides to drink instead of going back to the fight! Women coming from behind and crashing chairs and bottles onto the combatant's heads! Crosscut with this scene is another fantastic, sneaking Django scene though, so all is not lost. Tension sets in during the finale and its duels, ending the film on a fun, exciting high note. It's a solid block of violence, but the musical score is the upbeat main theme (the one featured above) so there's a definite juxtaposition of darkness and light going on that surprisingly works well for the scene. Before it's all over, Django pulls one final, impossible ninja feat, much to my delight, and cleans up the town in the process. I liked this film a lot more than I expected to. It's a country mile from being high art, but you could do a lot worse than this softly creeping Django and the multitude of stuntmen falling from high places seen here. Realistically, this is a Django film in name only, but that's okay as it's a good Western on its own that rises above its standard nature and story thanks to a good performance from Eastman and some entertaining creative license with Django's mortality and the integration of stealth. Will Django's offspring live up to his father's legacy? Come back tomorrow as we close out week one of A Fistful of Djangos with Uncle Jasper's look at 1967's Son of Django!

alchemist_VHS

Silver Emulsion — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 06:16:45 +0000

Uncle Jasper reviews: Son of Django (1967)

Uncle Jasper — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:36:50 +0000

Son of Django [Il figlio di Django] (1967) AKA “Return of Django” & “Vengeance is a Colt 45″ Starring Gabriele Tinti, Guy Madison, Ingrid Schoeller, Daniele Vargas, Ignazio Spalla, Roberto Messina, Giovanni Ivan Scratuglia Directed By Osvaldo Civirani

With all of the Django clone films and knockoffs floating around at the time, it was inevitable that somebody would get the bright idea to come up with the whole “Son of Django” concept. Yes! Think of all the opportunity! A young gunfighter picks up the mantle and takes on the violent legacy that his father left behind. There are virtually thousands of ways to make an interesting film involving Django’s son, unfortunately you won’t see any of them on display here. I would even go as far as to say that a film so ripe with opportunity as this would be impossible to fuck up, but Osvaldo Civirani manages to do so against all odds. He is basically handed the entire Django mythos and a genuine excuse to take any liberties he wants. He instead chooses to take none. Django’s son could have been virtually anything, but Civirani decides that it would be just A-OK if he was nothing more than a dull guy in dull clothes with a dull voice and a dull personality to cap it all off. [audio http://silveremulsion.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/theycallhimdjango.mp3]Click the play button above to listen to the song from the film that introduces the Son of Django, "They Call Him Django," while you read! I’m not gonna shit down Gabriele Tinti’s throat too much here as I truly believe he was not given much to work with. He is no Franco Nero, that’s for sure… and I’m not even certain he’s an Anthony Steffen. His sour turn as Django’s son is simply the product of a bunch of uninspired, creatively-deficient filmmakers who really couldn’t care less about what they were doing. This film is so piss poor and meandering in its execution that I literally had no clue who anybody was or what the hell they were doing for the first 30 minutes or so. We have a guy wandering around the hills alone. He gets his horse stolen, walks into town, gets mistaken for somebody else, shoots some guys, lands in jail, gets broken out of jail, and meets up with the guy who stole his horse. All of this just to introduce the horse thief, who ends up being a relatively minor player. It is only through a song about 30 minutes in that we realize that the main character is the son of Django, seeking revenge for the death of his father. What kind of lame cop-out is that? What respectable director really prefers to dole out major plot points through a song than through on-screen action? That shit might work on Broadway, but here in the realm of Spaghetti Westerns it does not. Speaking of music, this film also features what has to be the most painful Barroom song and dance number I have ever seen. Some kitschy saloon singer breaks out into in an ear-piercing, played-up country twang as her two overly enthusiastic guitar players strum madly with excitement. It’s simply excruciating to watch as these three ham it up in what almost looks like an experiment with glue sniffing gone south. Django’s Son and his quest for revenge is the only true motivation this film has going for it, but instead it decides to get mired up in some horseshit feud between rival ranchers and their hired thugs. We are treated to long, drawn out scenes of these two guys ordering their men out to fight one other, while each goes on and on about how much of a bastard the other is. Riveting. Somehow Django’s son gets involved, and through flashback realizes that one of the men may be the one who killed his father. This is further elaborated on by a mysterious priest who claims to be an ex-gunfighter who knew Django, and was there on the night of his death. Sensing that trouble is brewing, the priest decides to strap on his holster one last time. The priest is hands down the only interesting character in the entire film. There is something about religion and violence co-existing alongside each other that has always had a certain warped appeal to me. I really would have at this point preferred for the narrative to just forego the train wreck it had been carrying along for the previous hour and instead focus on the priest and his turmoil in reconciling his past life with his new one. But God forbid this film actually giving the audience something it wants. Instead we are treated to more mad-rancher screamin’ action and an anti-climactic saloon gunfight that begs for your interest with some admittedly cool stunt work. Whatever. If you make it to the end of this film with even the slightest bit of interest, than you are a better man than me. I simply could not find the willpower. Just staying awake through the end was literally draining enough. This film plays out like a broken math problem, a repeating decimal that forges onward without rhyme or reason. I did not enjoy myself here, it was incredibly boring and I’m only getting more bored writing about it. My review of Son of Django? Here it is: Don’t see it. That wraps up Week One of A Fistful of Djangos! Come back next Monday for Will's review of the 1967 film, Don't Wait Django...Shoot!

The Alchemist-Poster

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:58:42 +0000

The Alchemist (Richard Band) - 03. Main Titles

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:05:31 +0000

alchemist1

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:11:29 +0000

alchemist2

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:13:44 +0000

The Alchemist (1984)

Silver Emulsion — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:58:32 +0000

The Alchemist (1984) Starring Robert Ginty, Lucinda Dooling, John Sanderford, Viola Kates Stimpson, Robert Glaudini Directed by Charles Band Expectations: Low. This looks promising, but...

The Alchemist was shot in 1981 but wasn't released until 1984 in Europe and 1986 in the US. It has a very low-budget look to it that kind of works against my enjoyment, but there was enough here to keep me interested for most of the movie. Part of this could have been the faded VHS source I was watching. I'd love to see it on a nicely mastered DVD, but so far it has yet to be released on the format in the US. The setup is simple. In 1871, an alchemist lures a woman to his campfire. When her husband comes to rescue her, the alchemist tricks the husband into stabbing his wife. The alchemist curses the man to live as an animal for all of eternity. The credits run over multi-colored slow-motion fire in a great, simplistic sequence. This is a pretty awesome opening and following it, I was ready for an amazing hidden gem of a film. It's now 1955 and Lenora (Lucinda Dooling) drives along a mountain road. She is struck by a vision of the woman from the prologue and a demon. Soon after, she picks up a hitchhiker and a much stronger vision comes upon her. She blacks out and almost drives over the cliff. Lenora receives these visions because of the efforts of an old woman who tends to the cursed man-animal. She performs spells and rituals to try and lift his curse and has unknowingly brought Lenora's soul into their predicament. First thing, the music is fantastic! Charles Band's brother and frequent collaborator Richard Band provides a haunting, creepy score. It is by far my favorite part of this movie and sets a great, dark tone right away. I've liked the small selection of his other scores I've heard, but this easily rises to the top of the pile. I've included below a sample of the main title music for your enjoyment. Just imagine the fire in the picture to the right moving in slow-motion and changing colors now and then for the full effect. It's really a shame that the film doesn't live up to how awesome this music is. [audio http://silveremulsion.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/the-alchemist-richard-band-03-main-titles.mp3] The acting is bad, but watchable for the most part. It's a low-budget horror movie so if you're really into that sort of thing, you come to expect a different level of acting from the players and are okay with that. For all its flaws though, the film is technically sound and well made. Charles Band makes the most out of what he's got with confident shot selection and editing. It ultimately fails to excite completely because the middle section of the story gets a bit drawn-out and tired due to its relative similarity to the Dracula tale, but the film is still worth watching for genre fans. The Alchemist isn't all that gory, but when it is, they don't mess around. One scene where the cursed man-animal kills a deer shows him digging his hands around inside the bloody, gnarled carcass and it looks real and convincing. Later on, dudes in cheap foam latex masks and leather jackets get killed and Band chooses tight close-ups of the wounds to showcase their final, bloody moments. It's trashy but effective, making for some choice moments of nasty fun. The non-gore effects are great too. The old woman crafts a glowing green potion that features some great animated FX. The finale of the film is simply fantastic, featuring a shimmering hellgate and a red-sky surreal vision of that other land down under that looks surprisingly believable and realistic. And when the villain gets his, it is satisfying and gory, just as it should be. There's even a great time-lapse decomposition, one of my favorite effects from 1980s horror films. It's not as good as the one from Evil Dead, but it's still damn good. In the end, this is a good, low-budget horror movie but it does have its boring spots. It's only seventy-eight minutes but it feels a lot longer. The storytelling gets a bit confusing at times, but it adds a level of mystery to the film as you are trying to figure out exactly what's going on. As much as I enjoyed watching this, it seems like a TV movie at times, but probably would have had more impact at TV episode length. Come back next Friday for my look at Ragewar AKA The Dungeonmaster from 1984, a film featuring seven different segments directed by seven different directors!