Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 6, Last Battle for the Universe (1996)

Starring Corbin Allred, Jennifer Burns, Derek Webster, Barrie Ingham, Jonathan Charles Kaplan, Michael C. Mahon, Stacy Sullivan, Helen Siff, Charisma Carpenter, Johnny Green

Directed by Frank Arnold

Expectations: Low, but very much excited to be done with these!

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:


At long last I find myself at the end of the lengthy Josh Kirby film sextet. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t always enjoyable, but damn if I didn’t get a few quality moments of WTF joy. I’m happy to report that one of the best of these comes in this film, the aptly titled entry: Last Battle for the Universe. While it is the last film, and there is a battle contained within, don’t get your hopes up for an epic confrontation between good and evil that will shake the pillars of the Earth. Nope, here it’s more along the lines of Josh Kirby wearing a thimble/bucket helmet and trading laborious blows with the evil villain contained in the time armor.

Once again, a Josh Kirby film is fairly unintelligible. I always get through the first few minutes following these pretty well, but as boredom and exhaustion sets in, I’m unable to keep up with all the lengthy jargon-driven dialogue exchanges. What I was able to decode was this: after finally retrieving the final Nullifier component, Josh’s time buddy Irwin 1138 reveals himself to be the true villain! As I suspected a couple of films ago (I think it was hinted at in Trapped on Toyworld), the evil Dr. Zoetrope is actually a nice guy. This is a change for the better, as I always thought his character was far more interesting and likable than Irwin’s. Anyway, Irwin steals Zoetrope’s time armor and whisks himself away. Where he goes is for later, as first Josh Kirby must probe the mind of Zoetrope to prove that he’s telling the truth (Read: Full Moon gets lazy once again and shows us a few minutes of footage from the previous films). It is after this blatant offering of stock footage that we finally find out where Irwin got off to, and it is here that the film hits an absolute high of insane, mind-boggling proportions.

Continue reading Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 6, Last Battle for the Universe (1996) →

Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 2, Human Pets (1995)

Starring Corbin Allred, Jennifer Burns, Derek Webster, Barrie Ingham, John DeMita, Richard Lineback, Spencer Rochfort, Sandra Guibord, Jonathan Charles Kaplan, Heinrich James, Dimitrii Bogomaz, Time Winters, Robert Louis Kempf

Directed by Frank Arnold

Expectations: Low. I expect the series to get less fun as they move on.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:


The first Josh Kirby film was something special. It wasn’t especially great or anything, but it’s notable for packing in a veritable smorgasbord of special effects and general good times. I wish I could say that the sequel contains the same amount of fun as the original, but it just ain’t so. It doesn’t even pick up at the same moment as the cliffhanger ending of Part 1! Instead it opens with the requisite “Previously on Josh Kirby…” section, followed by the last couple of scenes of the first film. Except they never show the final scene again, the one with Josh Kirby riding the triceratops into town like some sort of warped version of Palm Sunday.

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Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)

Starring Corbin Allred, Jennifer Burns, Derek Webster, Barrie Ingham, John DeMita, Spencer Rochfort, Sandra Guibord, Jonathan Charles Kaplan, Time Winters, Charisma Carpenter

Directed by Ernest D. Farino

Expectations: Pretty high. This looks cheese-ball enough to be awesome.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:


Finally getting back to the Moonbeam films (Full Moon movies aimed at kids), and this one is a doozy. It’s the first part of a six-film series and it literally opens with a five-minute “catching you up on the plot” montage that details all the pertinent plot points, the devious villain and the hero and his small band of friends fighting through time to save the universe. Leave it to me to actually get the characters mixed up during the opening montage, but what do they expect me to do if I’ve never met these guys before? Regardless, it’s a slam-bang opening, so it’s somewhat jarring when we drop into the movie proper and the first scene is played subdued and nearly dialogue-free. Both are a bit misleading, as the film is neither slam-bang action nor quiet subtlety, although if you expected subtlety from a film titled Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights then you really should reconsider your general sense of gauging expectations.

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