Starring LeeAnne Baker, Michael Conte, Jacquie Fitz, Andrew Bausili, George Anthony-Rayza, William K. Reed, Paul Ruben, Gy Mirano, Letnam Yekim, Anthony Giola, Jett Julian

Directed by Bruce Hickey

Expectations: Super low, this one looks bad despite a promising poster.

For most people, Necropolis would be one of the worst movies they’ve ever seen. They’re not wrong, this shit is bad, but for anyone well-versed in low-budget trash cinema, Necropolis is far from the bottom of the barrel. What makes Necropolis marginally worth watching is some great lines of unintentionally hilarious dialogue, some serious WTF moments, and one scene that defies them all and will stick with you for all-time. What image could possibly have this power on the human mind? If you said a woman who spontaneously sprouts four extra breasts (for a grand total of six!) and then breast feeds her brood of black-hooded, Satan-worshiping zombies, you win a prize! Suck on that Total Recall!

Necropolis opens in the 1600s as a young couple walks down the aisle on their way to a happy marriage while a Satan-loving, lace-wearing witch performs a dark ritual in the woods, infusing energy into an effigy of the bride-to-be by doing your basic seductive striptease in front of a giant pentagram on the wall of the cave. It’s a pretty strong B-Movie start for sure, and you might be lulled into a false sense of security when the film quickly transitions to the 1980s by fading from the witch pulling a bloody cross from her midsection and intimidating the witch hunters with it, to a shot of the witch (now with short ’80s hair) on a fire-engine red motorcycle. Don’t drop your guard, though, as some dangerous waters are afoot!

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