Bleed (2002)

bleed_1Starring Debbie Rochon, Danny Wolske, Allen Nabors, Orly Tepper, Ronnie Gene Blevins, Laura Nativo, Julie Strain, Brinke Stevens, Lloyd Kaufman

Directed by Devin Hamilton & Dennis Petersen

Expectations: Hopefully it doesn’t make my eyes bleed.

On the general scale:
onestar

On the B-movie scale:
onehalfstar


I’m racking my brain for a way to best describe Bleed, but all I’m getting back is the EBS test tone, and that sure isn’t helping me think. Bleed is a poor excuse for a movie, but at the same time it’s an easy movie to get through. Not in a “so bad it’s good” way, it’s just paced well and it shows enough promise to assume it will get interesting. I didn’t like Bleed, but I definitely didn’t hate it either. I wouldn’t call it boring because I was genuinely engaged, but it’s ultimately vapid and not worth watching because it takes all that potential and blows it to oblivion in the final minutes. I’d almost rather be bored than disrespected like that!

Bleed opens with a couple of bros leaving a house party. One is dressed as a cheap streetwalker, the other a maid. They part ways, and soon after someone in all black wearing an expressionless white mask slices the hooker upwards from his balls to his collarbone. It’s surprisingly gory for a Full Moon film, with entrails spilling out of the wound, but don’t get too excited gorehounds. Besides this moment there isn’t much more, but it’s worth noting that what gore there is looks relatively good given the film’s probable very low budget.

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Demonicus (2001)

Starring Gregory Lee Kenyon, Venesa Talor, Brannon Gould, Kyle Tracy, Jennifer Capo, Allen Nabors, Candace Kroslak, Dominic Joseph, Val Perez, Todd Rex

Directed by Jay Woelfel

Expectations: Low. Look at that cover art and tell me you’d expect anything more.

On the general scale:

On the B-Movie scale:


Demonicus has many things working against it: it’s shot on video, its script is definitely lacking, its characters are mere cutouts of real people, its budget is noticeably small. Despite these things that could easily be deal breakers, Demonicus is ridiculously entertaining, as well as having the distinction of being pretty much the only traditional slasher in the Full Moon catalog. The film opens with a nice selection of mountain vistas. This is supposed to be the Italian Alps, and while you might fool a country boy from Iowa, I instantly recognized them as the Angeles National Forest just north of Los Angeles. You don’t grow up around them for over 25 years and not notice that stuff. Anyway, besides my brain killing their illusions, the filmmakers actually do a good job of selling these mountains as somewhere other than California, as there’s snow on the ground in patches and the shot selection is careful enough to not make it too obvious.

But enough digressions about the mountains, let’s get to the story. James and his girlfriend are hiking around, doing their best to beat their friends to the campsite and win the challenge. James is ever the competition-minded dude, so he had everyone split up and start up the mountain at different spots to see who could make it to the campsite first. Of course, he wants to win so he’s pushing his city-loving girlfriend much too hard. She receives a welcome rest when James discovers a large cave, but I bet she didn’t expect her boyfriend to emerge from the mountain fully clothed in Roman armor and a demonic helmet. She probably also didn’t see that sword to the gut coming either.

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