Directed by Devin Hamilton & Dennis Petersen
Expectations: Hopefully it doesn’t make my eyes bleed.
On the general scale:
On the B-movie scale:
I’m racking my brain for a way to best describe Bleed, but all I’m getting back is the EBS test tone, and that sure isn’t helping me think. Bleed is a poor excuse for a movie, but at the same time it’s an easy movie to get through. Not in a “so bad it’s good” way, it’s just paced well and it shows enough promise to assume it will get interesting. I didn’t like Bleed, but I definitely didn’t hate it either. I wouldn’t call it boring because I was genuinely engaged, but it’s ultimately vapid and not worth watching because it takes all that potential and blows it to oblivion in the final minutes. I’d almost rather be bored than disrespected like that!
Bleed opens with a couple of bros leaving a house party. One is dressed as a cheap streetwalker, the other a maid. They part ways, and soon after someone in all black wearing an expressionless white mask slices the hooker upwards from his balls to his collarbone. It’s surprisingly gory for a Full Moon film, with entrails spilling out of the wound, but don’t get too excited gorehounds. Besides this moment there isn’t much more, but it’s worth noting that what gore there is looks relatively good given the film’s probable very low budget.
The characters of Bleed are uniformly annoying. In a great horror movie this might lead to fun via rooting for the killer, but in Bleed it’s just irritating. And since it’s from 2002, there’s none of the fun latex craftsmanship to enjoy, nor is the killer an inspiring or scary presence. Maddy stands out from the pack, though, and a good amount of the movie investigates her mental state and her past. I wouldn’t call her a good character, but she’s interesting and I had hopes that she would achieve a noteworthy mental victory by the end of the film. Bleed builds to a climax of this nature, but then in the final act I guess the filmmakers’ ran out of time and just said, “Ahh, fuck it!” Almost everything is thrown out the window in the favor of adding a dumb Gotcha! twist that makes literally no sense.
Unfortunately, these are but small moments over the course of an 80-minute film. Bleed shows a lot of potential in its story, but the writers chickened out and opted for an ending that comes out of nowhere and respects virtually nothing that came before it. There are better Full Moon movies to waste your time with, although Bleed definitely isn’t as bad as they come.
Next time I get around to a Full Moon movie I’ll be watching the movie I said I’d be watching this time but couldn’t because I didn’t get it in time: the 1999 Moonbeam film, The Boy with the X-Ray Eyes! See ya then!