Starring Fumi Hirano, Mitsuo Iwata, Mari Yokoo, Kenji Utsumi, Mikio Terashima, Takashi Toyoma, Akira Kamiya, Mika Doi
Directed by Katsuhisa Yamada
There were a lot of great films in 1986. Any year that gives us the likes of Platoon, Top Gun, and Howard the Duck is obviously a memorable one. Aliens and Transformers especially had a massive impact on my childhood. On the anime front, 1986 gave us two of the greatest: Fist of the North Star and Project A-ko. Barefoot Gen 2 was nothing to scoff at either. But Outlanders? Scoff your little hearts out, my fellow internet dwellers; scoff as hard as you can.
Outlanders is a comedy about Kahm, a bikini-clad alien woman with green hair and ram horns on her head. She invades her way to Earth and grabs a random loser to be her new husband, which will, through illogical plot contrivance, stop the aliens from destroying the Earth. Somehow I didn’t realize just how much this rips off Urusei Yatsura‘s premise until I found out that it even stole that show’s lead actress, Fumi Hirano, to play Kahm.
But this is a comedy, so the plot isn’t the reason we’re here. Some good jokes would overshadow the plot issues entirely. Too bad they aren’t here. I don’t mean that the jokes are bad. I mean that there aren’t any. Instead it’s filled with sexual innuendo and fan service. Of course it’s all done in the cheesiest way possible, like when Kahm gets in a sword fight wearing nothing but a bath towel. The irony being that the towel covers more of her body than her usual armor bikini. And of course it also has the requisite moment where Tetsuya trips and fall face first into Kahm’s crotch. It’s all tired and bland. I laughed on occasion, but mainly out of disbelief that they were willing to use such obvious and generic material. The only moment of genuine humor is when a serpent monster swims around in Kahm’s bath, and she promptly grabs it and scrubs her back with it. Sorry, I’m afraid I’ve gone and spoiled the only moment worth watching in this movie.
There’s a hefty load of action here, too. It’s nothing memorable by any stretch, but at least it’s better than the humor. There are also a couple of creepy, villainous old men with robotic eyes, but that’s not exactly compelling or original. Oh, and you can’t forget the wolf-man space-samurai dude who gets it on with a sword-wielding cat-eared girl for the sole purpose of more fan service. Actually, you can forget about them. They aren’t that memorable either. The only good thing I can say about the film is that with its less-than-an-hour runtime it doesn’t overstay its welcome. But really you should avoid its welcome all together. There are a lot funnier anime titles out there.