Evil Bong 666 (2017)

Starring Mindy Robinson, Sonny Carl Davis, Michelle Mais, Robin Sydney, Jessica Morris, The Don, Bobby Ramos, Caleb Hurst, Orson Chaplin, Tonya Kay, Megan Sage, Samantha McGee, Brooks Davis

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Low.

On the general scale:

On the B-movie scale:


Despite the numbering, Evil Bong 666 is technically the series’ 7th entry, and for my money it’s one of the best Full Moon films in years. I know that isn’t saying a lot because Full Moon’s output has been pretty lackluster for a while, but just in terms of simple entertainment it’s probably the best Bong since Evil Bong 2: King Bong. Of course, your enjoyment will depend on your tolerance for the usual stoner logic and antics that fills these films, but I imagine anyone interested enough to read a review of a movie like Evil Bong 666 is on-board, strapped-in and ready to roll.

Evil Bong 666 follows the basic storefront formula of the last few Evil Bong films, but it changes up the energy by replacing the series’ star character, Larnell (John Patrick Jordan), with a new store owner, Lucy Furr (Mindy Robinson). This might seem like a small detail, but it changes the film’s course considerably. Instead of seeing Larnell and/or Rabbit (Sonny Carl Davis) handling a steady stream of customers — something we’ve seen way more than anyone ever needs to — now we have the devious, Satan-loving Lucy Furr taking care of business. It’s a whole new ballgame. It not only breathes life into the store scenes, it packs the bowl for another round. And thankfully, there’s actually not that many store scenes! I’d have preferred another David DeCoteau cameo instead of one of the lamer scenes, but you can’t win them all.

Continue reading Evil Bong 666 (2017) →

Evil Bong: High-5! (2016)

evilbong5Starring John Patrick Jordan, Sonny Carl Davis, Robin Sydney, Amy Paffrath, Mindy Robinson, Jacob Witkin, Chance A. Rearden, Rorie Moon, Circus-Szalewski, K. Harrison Sweeney, Noelle Ann Mabry, David DeCoteau, David Del Valle, Luke Hutchie, Skin Diamond, Adriana Sephora

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Zero. I hope to enjoy myself, though.

On the general scale:
onehalfstar

On the B-movie scale:
twohalfstar


Reviewing the Evil Bong films seems kind of pointless; if you don’t know on your own whether you want to watch the sixth movie in this franchise, you’re probably too high to operate any kind of machinery, heavy or otherwise. Yes, this latest Charles Band joint is another one that will only appeal to their most ardent fans, although I’m sure more than a few bros and doods will stumble upon it on Hulu (where it is available for free!), while looking for a movie to go with their 420 festivities.

Starting my review with, “Hey, this review is pointless!” probably isn’t one of my better decisions, but in the case of Evil Bong: High 5, it’s kind of representative of the experience. I’ll assume you’ve seen all the previous incarnations of this franchise, and therefore will be aware that multiple films in the series have used the “We’re selling stuff in a shop” script formula. Even if you haven’t seen the films, you’ve been to a store and you know the drill. Customer comes in, converses with the clerk and leaves. Repeat. I didn’t like it in Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong, I put up with it in Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong, I grinned and bore it in Evil Bong 420, but with Evil Bong: High 5 I’m drawing the line. What’s even more annoying is that many of the same customers from the other movies come in and have slight variations on their previous encounters. Sigh. I just hope Band doesn’t make the “Evil Bong Retail Quartet” into a quintet, but honestly, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Evil Bong: 666 is going to be. I gotta be honest, these movies are so similar to one another that they all kinda run together for me. If not for my reviews to refer back to, this review would seem a lot less informed! Thanks, former self!

Continue reading Evil Bong: High-5! (2016) →

Evil Bong 420 (2015)

evilbong420_1Starring Sonny Carl Davis, John Patrick Jordan, Robin Sydney, Amy Paffrath, Mindy Robinson, Sam Aotaki, Rorie Moon, Chance A. Rearden, Michelle Mais, Bobby Ramos, John Karyus

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Low.

On the general scale:
onehalfstar

On the B-movie scale:
threestar


Evil Bong 420 is the latest entry in the stoner comedy series from Full Moon, and despite the title’s suggestion it’s actually the 5th film in the series. If that angers you or in any way matters to you, I’d say you’re not the right kind of person to check this one out. But if you like your films trashy and stupid, you’ll find a lot to laugh at and enjoy here. In fact, Full Moon has done us all a favor and distilled this one down to a potent 53 minutes of trash (including the credits). Without any of the bullshit that usually clutters up and slows down B-Movies, Evil Bong 420 is nothing but the sweet sticky bud you’ve been jonesin’ for.

Evil Bong 420 focuses on Rabbit (Sonny Carl Davis) and the grand opening of his new bowling alley. It’s not just any bowling alley either, it’s a topless bowling alley! What that translates to in Full Moon speak is “lots of titties,” which usually also means a strip club movie (like Evil Bong) so the bowling alley was a welcome break. It also allowed for a hilarious David DeCoteau cameo, something I’m always happy to see. But don’t get too excited bowling fans, as the bowling alley doesn’t specifically matter to anything in the “plot.” Nope, Evil Bong 420 is yet another in the “some guy runs a shop and people come in” style of plot pioneered and honed over the course of the last couple of Evil Bong sequels. I gotta say, they did it pretty well this time. It feels more natural than it did in the last two films, and I think the shift to Rabbit as the main character helps a lot. The addition of a few beautiful topless women helps, too. This has long been a B-Movie tradition, and it continues to work its magic even in this technological madhouse we call 2015.

Continue reading Evil Bong 420 (2015) →

Seedpeople (1992)

seedpeople_1Seedpeople (1992)
AKA Dark Forest, Devil Seed

Starring Sam Hennings, Andrea Roth, Dane Witherspoon, Bernard Kates, Holly Fields, John Mooney, Anne Betancourt, David Dunard, Charles Bouvier, Sonny Carl Davis, J. Marvin Campbell

Directed by Peter Manoogian

Expectations: Moderate, but how can a movie called Seedpeople not be good?

On the general scale:
twostar

On the B-movie scale:
threehalfstar


It is true that Seedpeople is a variation on Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Piranha, but when the main villains roll around in seed pods and spring out with limbs outstretched to snare another puny human in their mind-control scheme to re-populate the Earth, these types of concerns are pointless. Seedpeople is a film designed for pure fun, and for those willing to get down and dirty with it at its level, it will provide a plethora of hilarity and good times in a slim 81-minute package.

Our main character is a geologist who’s staying in the remote town of Comet Valley to give a talk on meteorites to the Fireball Club. The town was founded on the site where a comet hit the Earth, and recent meteor showers have ignited the townspeople’s desire to hunt meteorites and sell them or collect them or whatever. Meanwhile, there’s some kind of flower spores growing in a resident’s orchard trees. Late at night a man comes by to turn on the water, and instead gets a massive load of plant sperm spewed all over him. It’s a literal alien bukkake, and I wish I could say this was a first in the Charles Band catalog, but it’s not. There are at least two other films I can think of off the top of my head that involve alien sperm, so ponder that for a while before you hit the break for the rest of the review.

Continue reading Seedpeople (1992) →

Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (2013)

gingerdeadvsevilbong_3Starring John Patrick Jordan, Robin Sydney, Sonny Carl Davis, The Don, Michelle Mais, Bob Ramos, Victoria Levine, Ryan Curry, Amy Paffrath, Masuimi Max, Mindy Robinson, Chanell Heart, Tian Wang, Jinhee Joung, Chance A. Rearden,  Joss Glennie-Smith, Orson Chaplin

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: I don’t even know, honestly. On the low end, for sure.

On the general scale:
onehalfstar

On the B-movie scale:
threestar


Despite what that poster to the right might make you think, Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong is not a movie for everyone. I’m inclined to go with the tired adage, “It’s for the fans,” but since I’m not the biggest fan of either series and I really enjoyed this one, I can’t say that it’s as exclusive as that. And liking this movie leaves me with a bit of a conundrum. I’ve lambasted some of Full Moon’s modern films for a few recurrent reasons: being excessively trashy, being questionably racist and for being shameless in their self-promotion of the company’s merch. The conundrum comes when Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong is all three and yet I still liked it. I guess what it boils down to is that when it’s not being horrible, Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong is a lot of stupid fun. I can’t fully explain it, but I definitely enjoyed Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong. Most of it, anyway.

As the fourth entry in both the Gingerdead Man and Evil Bong series, there’s definitely a bit of baggage going into this one. So thank God Full Moon decided to pair the heroes from the respective series with a new friend each, allowing them to regale their new acquaintances (and the audience) with stories of what happened in the previous films. But wait, this is a movie! Who wants to hear boring stories about what happened when you can just show a bunch of clips from said movies? Charles Band actually has the gumption to do this to summarize all three previous Evil Bong films, as well as the first Gingerdead Man movie. The other two Gingerdead films are apparently non-canon, which makes sense as they’re not about anything even remotely related to the tale of blood and dough told in the first film. Surprisingly though, I actually enjoyed the recaps as it had been a while since I’d seen the films so it got me back up to speed.

Continue reading Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong (2013) →

Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong (2011)

Starring Peter Stickles, John Patrick Jordan, Mitch Eakins, Brian Lloyd, Sonny Carl Davis, Michelle Mais, Circus-Szalewski, Irwin Keyes, Jacob Witkin, Robin Sydney

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: High. Part 2 was great.

On the general scale:
onestar

On the B-Movie scale:
twostar


After the wonderful follow-up to the surprisingly enjoyable Evil Bong, I eagerly awaited the third film in the series. Perhaps the fact that I was disappointed is directly connected to these unrealistic expectations, or maybe it’s because I was unable to see the movie in the theater in glorious 3D and scratch-n-sniff aided Sniff-O-Rama! In any case, I was expecting some quality comedy and instead I got what amounts to a couple of good jokes and a lot of filler.

In one of the most epic opening scenes Full Moon has ever done, an alien meteorite/spaceship hurtles through the infinite cosmos on a collision course for Earth. Don’t worry, it’s small. The world isn’t in danger… or is it? This scene evokes a feeling of Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey with its space-faring visuals and haunting choral music, but this is where the similarities end. Inside this ship is an alien bong, hell-bent on controlling the Earth! So far, so good, but as soon as the bong makes its way to Brett and Bachman’s head shop, the movie starts to take a downward turn.

Continue reading Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong (2011) →

Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009)

Starring John Patrick Jordan, Amy Paffrath, Sonny Carl Davis, Brett Chukerman, Mitch Eakins, Brian Lloyd, Jacob Witkin, Robin Sydney, Michele Mais, Michael A. Shepard

Directed by Charles Band

Expectations: Moderate, I enjoyed the first.

On the general scale:
twohalfstar

On the B-Movie scale:
threehalfstar


Evil Bong 2 starts off with a short recap of the entire first film for those that didn’t see it or have pot-induced selective memory. In a low-budget film, this is usually a bad sign that the rest of the film’s runtime will be padded out as much as possible with stock footage and a general lack of imagination. It is a sequel after all. Evil Bong 2 goes the complete opposite direction after this opening though, delivering more laughs, more fun and more awesome Evil Bong action that you can shake a shitty tribal spear at!

Time has passed and the guys have moved into a new apartment, but not everything is coming up roses for our heroes. It seems the Evil Bong’s pot fantasies have had a lasting impact on their daily lives. They are afflicted with extreme versions of marijuana’s side effects: the munchies, loss of inhibition and narcolepsy. With nowhere left to turn, they call the delivery man who brought them the Evil Bong in the first film and then venture into the Amazon to find the birthplace of the Evil Bong itself! Only in a B-movie could a story take as many ridiculous twists and turns and still come out on top, but Evil Bong 2 does just that and succeeds remarkably at keeping the interest level high throughout.

Continue reading Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009) →

Page 1 of 212




Subscribe via Email!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 71 other subscribers

Ongoing Series

Top Posts & Pages