Starring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, Sean Harris, Rafe Spall, Emun Elliott, Benedict Wong, Kate Dickie, Guy Pearce
Directed by Ridley Scott
Expectations: High. Despite not liking the trailer, I’m dying to see this.
I take everything negative I ever said about Prometheus back. This is the real deal. A true science fiction film full of grand questions of existence and humanity, Prometheus is incredible. It has its flaws if you come at it with the wrong expectations, but for me, a high-concept lovin’ sci-fi fiend, it doesn’t get much better than this. This is a space exploration movie of the highest order, complete with its own symphonic theme song that’s probably the best Star Trek theme song that’s not actually a Star Trek theme song. Ridley Scott can clearly still throw down a phenomenal film, and I think my faith in his proposed Blade Runner sequel just grew exponentially (even if it does seem needless).
Prometheus is yet another movie you should go into cold, but one thing you should definitely know beforehand is that it’s not an Alien movie. It’s related, but if you expect corridor horror and rampaging xenomorphs you’ll be sorely disappointed. It’s definitely in the franchise, so fans of the series will recognize many things that shed some light on Alien, but the events here are never directly connected to anything that happens in that film. Herein lies some of the problems with Prometheus, though, as Alien is a film that works perfectly as is, with its secrets firmly kept in the dark.
Fist of the North Star: the Movie [劇場版 世紀末救世主伝説 北斗の拳 Gekijōban Seikimatsu Kyūseishu Densetsu Hokuto no Ken, Fist of the North Star the Movie: Legend of the Century’s End Savior] (1986)
I hope you’re ready for the most intense, hyper-masculine orgy of ultra-violence ever made, because I sure as hell am. I haven’t seen this movie since high school, and after watching Expendables 2 I was suddenly in the mood for cocky, musclebound men performing manly feats of impossibility. So I tracked down the DVD and found that Fist of the North Star has aged like a fine wine; its ridiculous violence and ’80s styling making it a savory delight even better than I remembered.
The DVD case proudly advertises Fist of the North Star as “the most violent and action packed animated film of all time,” and my first reaction when I saw the box was disbelief. There has to be something even more over the top. But I really couldn’t think of many examples. Maybe Berserk or Claymore, but even those didn’t seem to fit the bill. Now that I’ve watched the film again, I can say that no, there is nothing I am aware of that has more violence and more machismo concentrated into one package.
Enemy Territory (1987)
AKA Manhattan Warriors, Terror Night – Hochhaus in Angst
Starring Gary Frank, Ray Parker Jr., Jan-Michael Vincent, Frances Foster, Tony Todd, Stacey Dash, Deon Richmond, Tiger Haynes, Charles Randall, Peter Wise, Robert Lee Rush, Lynnie Godfrey, Theo Caesar
Directed by Peter Manoogian
Expectations: High. I’ve heard good things.
On the general scale:
On the B-movie scale:
Like many great action films, Enemy Territory kinda sneaks up on you. After a dope rap song and some fun establishing shots of New York City, we’re introduced to Barry, an asshole insurance agent who’s on his last legs at his company. His boss calls him into his office and offers him one last chance to stick around. The only catch is that he’s got to venture deep into the projects to get an insurance policy signed, and if he doesn’t get back out before night falls, he may never get out alive. Of course, the shit hits the fan rather quickly and Barry is stuck on the twentieth floor of the Lincoln Tower with a bloodthirsty gang known as the Vampires hot on his trail.
As soon as the film starts, it never lets up. Within the first 10 minutes, Barry is inside the building and it’s already turning sour. 10 minutes after that and the first casualty of the evening has occurred. But during this first altercation Barry picks up a good Samaritan in Ray Parker Jr.’s character, Willy. Yes, you read that right, THE Ray Parker Jr. of the Ghostbusters theme song fame. Turns out the dude can act (although he didn’t get much work besides this), and his unlikely partnership with Barry forms the foundation the film builds from. This is a low-budget action film, so the characters are never developed more than they need to be, but they form a strong team regardless.
Starring Emily Somers, Travis Aaron Wade, Martin Copping, Sonalii Castillo, Janna Bossier, Troy Vincent, Charlie Weirauch, Traci Moslenko, Justin M. Via
Directed by Joe Kawasaki
Expectations: High, the trailer was great.
In the modern age, horror films rarely scare or provide anything we haven’t seen before. The genre has moved into satiating viewers with extreme, sadistic pleasures, instead of interesting ideas and fun scares. But in Reboot, Joe Kawasaki’s Kickstarter-funded, cyberpunk short film, he sets his sights on something truly horrific: Internet terrorism. I have no idea if what is outlined in the film is actually possible, but the idea alone is frightening. Reboot isn’t truly a horror film, but its implications will haunt your thoughts for days as you log into your social media accounts and take it all for granted.
Reboot begins with an intro reminiscent of Koyaanisqatsi, showing us wonderful time-lapse photography of Los Angeles while a radio interview with a couple of hackers plays over the top of it. This intro goes on a little longer than I think it needed to, but it does set up the premise of the film incredibly well. When the title card drops at the end of the intro, and we fade into our heroine lying on the floor with an iPhone glued to her hand, we know exactly the implications of the situation she’s in.
In an effort to build more of a community here, I’m gonna try to regularly do posts like this in addition to all the movie reviews. So to start a new series, I figured I should do it with a bang, and no recent film bang was louder than the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney. Whatever you or I thought about how horrible those prequels were in comparison to the original films, I’m very optimistic about the future of the series outside of Lucas’s hands. No matter what Disney cooks up for Episode VII, it’s bound to be better than the prequels, right?
You would think, but then there’s that key detail about the sale where Lucas also sold them very detailed story outlines of Episodes VII, VIII, & IX. The idea of another Lucas-scripted trilogy is not one that I welcome, but the fact that they aren’t scripts is a sign of hope. Who’s going to be working on it—top men, I’m sure— is still unknown, but I imagine that whoever they get can pull together a better script than Lucas.
But really, the main reason I’m actually excited again for what Star Wars might bring to the screen is held in the fact that Disney has committed to bringing Episode VII to the screen. Not a sidestory, not another prequel or an Old Republic tale, but Episode VII. And with Episode VII, this essentially means that it’s almost a foregone conclusion that it will include the elements that most fans would deem necessary to the success of a Star Wars property: The Empire, Stormtroopers, X-Wings, Tie-Fighters… the list goes on (and I’m not assuming that it would have any of the previously established characters). By focusing on Episode VII, Disney will—hopefully—be bringing the series back to what made it famous.
This is one of the key flaws of the prequel trilogy in my eyes, and while I have to applaud Lucas’s “artistic integrity” for “doing something new” and throwing every iconic design out the window, that’s an uphill battle that never should’ve happened. Nobody remembers the shitty ships in the prequels (except for the uninspired silver SR-71), but everyone knows the X-Wing. Hmm, I wonder why. Oh, that’s right, it’s because it looks like an X! Iconic, simple design, and if they’re making new ships (C-Wings, anybody?), then ideally they will be able to make ships that fit alongside these greats. So hopefully Disney learns from Lucas’s critical error and gives the fans a movie full of X-, A-, B-, & Y-Wings dogfightin’ every configuration of Tie-Fighters known to man. They should also look deeply into creating a major villain that lasts the entire trilogy. No one is going to be as badass as Vader, but someone formidable enough to last three movies is a definite step in the right direction after the cavalcade of dumb villains the prequels offered.
But really, even the promise of a Star Wars film with all those things that made me love Star Wars is a sticky proposition as it could easily tread all over my fond memories. And it’s gonna be absolutely dripping with CG. Oh God, imagine a new Star Wars film that made a commitment to stop-motion and practical FX. I can’t think about it too long or else my head will explode. And besides, it would never happen anyway.
Hmm, I don’t know. Could go either way, but I’m definitely excited about Star Wars again. That hasn’t happened in years.
What do you think? What would you like to/not like to see in a new Star Wars film?
Starring Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Brian White, Amy Acker
Directed by Drew Goddard
Expectations: Moderately high. Everyone’s great reviews have coerced me into seeing this, but it’s a modern American horror film, it can’t possibly be good.
Well… that was unexpected. I have to give The Cabin in the Woods credit for trying something different, and it is interesting to see how the film unfolds, but it never pulled me in. The whole film I felt like an outsider observing someone else watching a movie, and I was constantly aware of the filmmakers and their desire for me to recognize their cleverness. Not exactly the quickest way to my heart. It’s a weird, twisting in on itself kind of film, and I understand completely why so many people enjoyed it.
With that being said: Fuck this movie. I’m tempted to leave it at that, but that wouldn’t really be of service to anyone. I was sold a bill of goods, but instead it was the old bait and switch, and I even knew some sort of bait and switch was coming! This is the epitome of a movie that should be watched cold, so if you plan to see this, run far, far away (not physically, of course) by clicking one of the many links (or ads… yeah click those!) surrounding this content.
Starring Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina, Andrea Duro, Andros Perugorría, Jazz Vilá, Eliecer Ramírez, Antonio Dechent
Directed by Alejandro Brugués
Expectations: Moderate. I love the gimmick title, so I hope it has the horror (and/or comedy) to back it up.
On the general scale:
On the B-movie scale:
I’ve tried to bring a range of films to this year’s Horrific October, so when I found out about this one, I did what I could to acquire it in time. Juan of the Dead, beyond its gimmicky title, is Cuba’s first horror film, and while it’s not anything revolutionary, it is a lot of fun. I have a lot of problems with it, but I enjoyed the film and honestly, in a zombie movie, that’s about all you need.
Juan of the Dead is something of an homage movie to the zombie genre, taking cues from a host of films and Tarantino-ing them into one film. Did you enjoy the part in Dead Alive when the priest says, “I kick ass for the Lord”? Well, then prepare to hear one of the survivors say exactly that in a dank parking garage. Similarly, other scenes reference Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later, [REC], etc. If you’re OK with this, and you just want to see the zombie apocalypse as scored by salsa music, then ignore everything else and just watch the movie. You might be disappointed, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be entertained.