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By  Will Silver, on February 17, 2012, 5:20 am  The Singing Thief [大盜歌王] (1969)
Starring Jimmy Lin Chung, Lily Ho Li Li, Lo Lieh, Essie Lin Chia, Mui Yan, Chu Gam, Yee Kwan, Nam Wai-Lit, Man Lei, Au-Yeung Gwong, Yip Dung-Ching
Directed by Chang Cheh
Expectations: I really don’t know what to expect. Not much.
Well, this one certainly blew whatever expectations I had out of the water! Having taken wuxia to the highest heights he thought it could reach at the time with his previous film Golden Swallow, Chang Cheh sought to liberate himself from the standard Shaw Brothers cycle of constantly making wuxia pictures one after another. Instead he turned his attention to musicals of all things, and the resulting effort is The Singing Thief. Don’t be fooled by the title though, it’s not really a musical in the traditional sense.
The story of The Singing Thief revolves around Diamond Poon, a reformed diamond thief who’s now known for his wonderful singing voice. He works in a nightclub run by his good buddy Fu and he’s content to keep his life simple. Someone else has a different life path in mind for Poon though, as a new thief in town is accurately impersonating his trademarks and making everyone think that Poon’s up to his old tricks. He could be, and the mystery of just who is stealing everyone’s jewelry is one of the best parts of the film. In some ways it reminded me of The Big Lebowski, where an innocent dude gets mixed up in a sea of people all out to get him and play him for their own interests, but realistically that foundational story has its roots in places far older than The Big Lebowski, such as Dashiell Hammett’s groundbreaking 1929 novel Red Harvest (itself a huge influence on film, particularly on the work of Akira Kurosawa & Sergio Leone).
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By Will Silver, on September 15, 2011, 5:20 am  The Land of Many Perfumes [女兒國] (1968)
Starring Chow Lung-Cheung, Ho Fan, Pang Pang, Tin Sam, Fang Ying, Lee Heung-Gwan, Lau Leung Wa, Irene Chan Yi-Ling, Wong Ching-Wan, Cheung Yuk-Kam, Kong Dan, Yip Bo-Kam, Lee Hung-Chu, Gloria Wang Xiao-Ing, Tsang Choh-Lam
Directed by Ho Meng-Hua
Expectations: Moderate. I’m getting somewhat bored of these because they’re all pretty similar.
What’s to say about this series that I haven’t already said? The Land of Many Perfumes is the fourth and final entry into the Shaw Brothers Journey to the West series of films, and unfortunately it’s the most minor of them all. Like the previous films, The Land of Many Perfumes opens with the monk Tang and his followers looking for a place to sleep at night. It’s a long, hard road to the West in search of Buddhist scriptures and beds are hard to come by.
The many perfumes of the title do not refer to thousands of little bottles of “eau du toilette” as you might expect. Nope, they’re talking about all the ladies in the region. Our heroes venture into a realm where only women dwell, reproducing via the river, but this method only allows them to produce female offspring. When the men arrive on the scene, it creates a frenzy among the women as many of them have never seen a man. They all wish to marry Tang, but it is the Empress and her daughter that scuffle the most about it. They don’t want to eat his flesh as the villains in the previous films all did, but they do lust for his flesh in other ways.
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By Will Silver, on September 7, 2011, 5:20 am  The Cave of Silken Web [盤絲洞] (1967)
Starring Chow Lung-Cheung, Ho Fan, Pang Pang, Tin Sam, Angela Yu Chien, Lau Leung Wa, Shen Yi, Helen Ma Hoi-Lun, Shirley Wong Qui-Lee, Tin Mung, Yau Ching, Shum Lo, Tong Dik
Directed by Ho Meng-Hua
Expectations: Moderate. The last one wasn’t as good as the first.
Third in the Shaw Brother’s series of four films based upon the classical Chinese novel Journey to the West, The Cave of Silken Web is a definite step up from the previous sequel Princess Iron Fan. The focus is tightened here to one story for the entire film and it serves the arc of the story and the film better than the episodic format that the earlier films had. With only one story to focus on, director Ho Meng-Hua and his wonderful group of actors can really settle into their roles and have a great time. Not to mention that the villains here have real weight and pursue our heroes relentlessly. Chow Lung-Cheung takes over the role of the Monkey King for this film, and while he’s not quite as emotive or charismatic as Yuen Hua was, it’s pretty seamless and most viewers probably won’t even notice the difference.
The Cave of Silken Web starts off like any other story from the series, with the monk Tang and his band of protectors riding West in search of Buddhist scriptures. While looking for a place to stay for the night, they are tricked into the evil plans of the seven spider-demon sisters of the Cave of the Silken Web! They are quite devious and before you know it, Tang is turned into mist and captured in a vase and all seems to be lost. Of course nothing is yet written in stone, as the Monkey King, Pigsy and Sandy are all diligent followers of Tang and fight tirelessly to free their master.
The first half of the film is something of a rehash of most of the previous stories, but the film really hits its stride come the second half. The action moves completely within the cave and it’s a non-stop ride to the finale with all kinds of mistaken identity and hijinks that only the Monkey King can provide. Everything else takes a backseat to the last couple of minutes though when Sandy’s acquisition of the deadly Seven Flames is unleashed. The Seven Flames is the only thing capable of counteracting the seven sisters’ spider webs and it’s basically just a flamethrower disguised as a large jug. Watch as Sandy and the Monkey King lay waste to all kinds of shit with a flamethrower! I defy you to not be entertained by that! This is the first flamethrower I’ve seen in a Shaw Brothers film, and I sure hope it isn’t the last. This isn’t the type of movie I’d expect a flamethrower to pop up, but I ain’t complaining!
And if nothing else, The Cave of Silken Web teaches one very important lesson. No matter how powerful or supernatural you are (or think you are), a big rock to the back of the head is always capable of knocking you out. So watch your backs and give this one a shot. It’s not necessary to see the preceding films first, but it will help quite a bit and I recommend it.
By Will Silver, on August 31, 2011, 5:20 am  Princess Iron Fan [鐵扇公主] (1966)
Starring Ho Fan, Yueh Hua, Pang Pang, Tin Sam, Cheng Pei Pei, Pat Ting Hung, Lily Ho Li Li, Cheng Miu, Shen Yi, Ng Wai, Lily Li Li-Li, Ku Feng, Man Sau
Directed by Ho Meng-Hua
Expectations: High, I really enjoyed the first film.
Princess Iron Fan is the second in the Shaw Brother’s four film series of Journey to the West films. It’s not nearly as episodic as the first film, this time only containing two stories, with most of the runtime dedicated to the second one. It’s interesting to me that this got titled after Princess Iron Fan, the subject of the first and much shorter tale, instead of after the film’s main villain and trickster the White Bone Demon (or the Lady White Skeleton depending on the translation) played wonderfully by Cheng Pei-Pei. No matter though, let’s get to what matters… is it a competent sequel?
The answer is a resounding yes. Princess Iron Fan doesn’t deal out anywhere near the amount of amazing FX and crazy visuals as The Monkey Goes West, but it does remain enjoyable throughout. Don’t worry though, you get your fair share of crazy shenanigans going on too. One of my favorite of these moments is when Monkey has to infiltrate Princess Iron Fan’s home to retrieve the only thing that can quell the flames impeding their journey, her iron fan. First he transforms into a three-inch tall version of himself and tickles his way through the serving girls to create a distraction. Then as the princess receives her scrumptious ginseng soup, he transforms into a fly and jumps in the bowl. He travels inside her stomach and then announces his presence. When the princess refuses to relinquish the fan, he hits her tender stomach walls with the end of his staff and performs ulcer-inducing somersaults. Her only recourse is to give in and my only option is to enjoy the shit out of this scene. I’ve seen tons of amazing and inventive sets from the Shaw Brothers, but the interior stomach is something completely fresh and very enjoyable.
Princess Iron Fan is a strong enough film on its own to win anyone over, but taken as a sequel it builds on The Monkey Goes West very well. It doesn’t flesh out the character of Sha Wujing (Sandy) at all though, but there’s still a couple of sequels to do that. I don’t need anything deep, but some explanation of him or a show of his powers would be nice. As of now he’s only the dude with the beard and the crescent moon staff. In any case, it’s clear that Monkey is and always will be the main character of these films. Even though he’s only a disciple to the Monk Tang on his quest for the Buddhist scriptures, it is Monkey’s journey that is the most interesting and easily relatable.
By Will Silver, on August 30, 2011, 5:20 am  Vicious Lips (1988)
Starring Dru-Anne Perry, Gina Calabrese, Linda Kerridge, Shayne Farris, Anthony Kentz, Christian Andrews, Mary-Anne Graves
Directed by Albert Pyun
Expectations: Moderate.
Coming at you like the love child of Purple Rain, Alien and Robinson Crusoe, Vicious Lips is not for the faint of heart. Not because of its over-the-top violence or its plethora of nude bodies. No, this one is firmly in the incredibly boring camp, but it’s the ridiculous WTF factor that makes Vicious Lips worth watching for B-Movie fans. The intergalactic girl band Vicious Lips is out one lead singer, but they’ve got the gig of a lifetime on the line. Matty, their manager, plucks a fresh-faced kid out of a high school talent contest and before she knows it, she off to fulfill her lifelong dreams. Along the way they crash land on a desert alien world and the cargo hold of their ship just so happens to be carrying a female killing machine, the Venusian Man-Beast!
The whole film’s story is pretty shoddily told from the get-go, with quick-cut editing and neon glows ripped directly from Prince’s Purple Rain film. This isn’t a bad thing, as I enjoy Purple Rain, but it’s nothing new. Director Albert Pyun does have an eye for quality shots and cinematography though, which isn’t enough to carry the movie, but it adds a lot more visual candy than I expected there to be. The music is also very enjoyable for fans of 80s music and it’s an absolute crime that a soundtrack was never made available.
For all its faults, Vicious Lips surprisingly wraps itself up pretty well and pays off better than expected in the end, with a finale so triumphant and enjoyable that I couldn’t help but be enamored with the movie, despite being bored throughout nearly its entire runtime. There’s not a lot that I feel needs to be said about this one, it’s awful but oddly enchanting for 80s music and B-Movie fans. There’s also a brief glimpse of a triple-breasted hooker a few years before Total Recall, though I doubt this is the first on-screen appearance of an accessory breast (yes, that’s the real medical term for it). Director Albert Pyun is known for being in a similar class with the madcap genius of Ed Wood, and Pyun showcases why in Vicious Lips without a doubt. He later went on to direct one of my favorite Full Moon flicks, Dollman, so I’m definitely interested in checking out more of his work, especially his first film The Sword and the Sorcerer, a low-budget 80s sword and sandal epic made in the wake of Conan the Barbarian.
Next week I’ll launch into another of Full Moon’s big series, the vampiric tale of Subspecies!
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